"Don’t forget what I told you."
Duan Fang nodded. "I know, father. Don’t worry about it. This isn’t the first time I’m meeting him. Nothing will go wrong."
Mister Duan sighed. Nothing going wrong was a given. But as for everything else … He patted his son’s shoulder and then motioned to the entrance. "Well, then. You better go now. The carriage arrived."
"Mn." Duan Fang nodded again and pulled the cloak tighter around his body, brushing through his hair with his fingers and making it scatter over the red fur like waves. He gave his father another smile before running out and nodding at the servant that was holding the curtain aside for him.
Mister Duan walked over to the door and watched his son get into the carriage, sighing deeply when they drove off. "Ah, I hope this goes well." He shook his head and went back inside, pushing the thought off. There was nothing he could do. It was all on his son now. If he still couldn’t convince Young Master Li today, then he could only wrong his son.
Meanwhile, Duan Fang looked out of the carriage’s window, watching the snowy hills roll by and admiring how the icicles hanging from the branches of the barren trees glittered in the morning sun.
This wasn’t the first time Li Hong had invited him to his residence but he couldn’t help admiring the scenery outside again. Every time, it made his heart open up. Or maybe that was the prospect of seeing Li Hong again …
"Young Master Duan, we’ll reach the gates soon." The driver glanced over his shoulder and called out.
Duan Fang laughed. "Sure." He pulled down the curtain and leaned back, smoothing out his cloak.
Even after a year, he still couldn’t figure out Li Hong’s mind. Was he looking out for him and didn’t want people to bring up the things of the past? Or was he just ashamed of meeting with somebody from the Duan family and wanted to keep unsavory rumors about himself from being spread?
If it was the latter, then there was nothing he could do. If it was the former … Well, this would only be beneficial to his family and even though Li Hong had never talked about love, he liked to be with him.
There was no security in their meetings but he was willing to give it a try. As long as this man treated him sincerely, he was willing to continue to walk down this path and become his. Yes, he would have liked to live at Li Hong’s side. So if it worked out, that would be for the best. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the time to wait forever. If Li Hong didn’t decide today …
Duan Fang sighed and looked at his hands. If only Li Hong would indicate whether he wanted to marry him or not … As long as he said the word, his family wouldn’t consider any of the other men. After all, the Li family’s situation was one of the best. Having affiliations with them would solve their problems at once. But if Li Hong kept silent … His marriage was the only chance his family had to turn their situation around. It was his luck that his father had taken his feelings into consideration and not decided on somebody else yet.
The carriage stopped and Duan Fang pushed the thought away. Even though he was also doing this for his family, he wanted to treat Li Hong sincerely. So as long as he was there, he wouldn’t think of the wedding. He would just … be like always and hope for Li Hong to raise the subject on his own.
"We’ve arrived, Young Master Duan." The servant pulled the curtain to the side and held out his hand, helping him off the carriage and making sure that he didn’t slip on the frozen ground.
Duan Fang didn’t pay any attention to it. He just looked at the gate or rather at the person waiting in front of it. His lips curved into a sweet smile and he let out the breath he had unwittingly held at this man’s sight, making it condense into a white cloud. "Young Master Li."
Li Hong smiled back and walked toward him, giving him a once-over before his gaze returned to his eyes. "Duan Fang."
The two of them fell silent and just looked at each other.
Li Hong glanced away before looking up again with twinkling eyes, motioning inside. "Why don’t you come inside and have a seat?"
"Mn." Duan Fang nodded and followed him into the estate, glancing at Li Hong from the corner of his eye. This man, he was as elegant as always, his body clad in a green robe that was half-hidden below the black cloak. His hair was bound with an equally green ribbon, falling down his back in a stark contrast with the white fox fur draped around his shoulders.
Li Hong motioned at a servant to help Duan Fang take off his cloak before he gave his own to the second servant standing to the side. He turned back with a smile that was just right. Not too distant but not overly enthusiastic either. This was probably what people called a scholarly temperament.
Duan Fang’s heart thumped. He sat down at Li Hong’s gesture and lowered his gaze. This person … Maybe thinking of marrying him was nothing but a daydream. Was he even worthy of his affection?
Li Hong brushed the snowflakes out of his hair and sat down next to his guest. His gaze brushed over Duan Fang’s figure again, taking in the way the hem of his robe had become wet while they walked through the courtyard. He signaled the servant to the side with his eyes to bring in a brazier before he poured a hot cup of tea, putting it down in front of Duan Fang. "I hope your way here was pleasant. I heard there were some troubles at the gate the other day and the patrols are still trying to get the situation under control."
Duan Fang shook his head. "There were no problems. Who would dare to make trouble when they see the Li family’s carriage?"
Li Hong poured another cup for himself and hid a smile. "I doubt the refugees even know what the crest of my family looks like. And even if they do, they probably don’t care much for it."
Duan Fang glanced at him and also picked up his teacup. Had he said something wrong?
Li Hong’s hand stilled and he cleared his throat. "Well, you might be right though. Even if they don’t know who the Li family is, they should be able to see that the carriage belongs to a family they should not antagonize."
Duan Fang nodded but didn’t dare to speak further. Since his family’s situation had worsened and they had had to leave the capital, he hadn’t dared to get involved with politics. He didn’t know where these refugees came from or what the reason for them coming here was. It would make his family’s opponents less wary but showing that so openly in front of Li Hong …
Li Hong took a sip from his tea, wondering what to say. It was more than obvious that his previous statement had made Duan Fang feel self-conscious. What a great way to start their get-together! Ah, if only he could start over … "Well, I am happy that you made it here without complications. I was worried something might happen but I thought I might draw too much attention if I sent guards with the carriage."
Duan Fang looked at the ground, trying to hide the expression in his eyes. Draw attention … Did this mean Li Hong really didn’t want people to notice his visits to the Li family’s estate?
Li Hong took a shaky breath at Duan Fang’s lack of response. Had he said another wrong thing? What was happening today? A sudden streak of bad luck? He lightly furrowed his brows, tried to lean over to at least close the physical distance but he didn’t dare to do so and could only put down his cup, letting his hand rest on top of the table. "I didn’t want to put you in danger."
Duan Fang looked up again and nodded but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling inside. Ah, hadn’t he promised himself not to fret? But with the cause of his worries once again exposed in front of him, he couldn’t help it. Maybe he should just ask?
His lips parted but in the end, he merely smiled. "Many thanks, Young Master Li. I appreciate your concern." He couldn’t bring himself to do it. No, it would be impolite to be that direct. He would put Li Hong in a bad spot if he didn’t … Duan Fang gulped and faced away, not daring to look at the man any longer. Just imagining it made his heart tumble into an abyss.
Li Hong clenched his hand into a fist below his sleeve. Obviously, he had hurt Duan Fang gravely with his previous words. Or maybe even his attempt at salvaging the situation had somehow backfired. What could he do to make up for that? He had to find out or Duan Fang might drift away from him further. Over the last few weeks, he had more and more often felt that it was already happening. Duan Fang evaded his gaze and more than once he would fall quiet like this, his expression one of silent suffering.
Was it him who was putting him through this? It had to be. What other explanation was there? Or maybe he had some trouble but wasn’t comfortable enough to discuss them with him. In that case, he merely wasn’t a good enough friend. He should work on that but he didn’t know how to go about it. He didn’t even know what to say.
The silence between them stretched and neither of them could think of anything to say. The hour-long conversations they had had in the past where the servants would have to remind them to eat or that it was time to sent Duan Fang home were only a distant memory.
Li Hong closed his eyes. The embers in the brazier sizzled behind them, giving off a faint heat. But despite that, his heart grew cold. This wasn’t the first time he had experienced this. But it was the first time it made his heart hurt this deeply. This person … He didn’t want this person to turn his back on him.
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