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Just Listen to Your Heart

Just Listen to Your Heart (1/3)

Just Listen to Your Heart (1/3)

Feb 21, 2021

The uniform footsteps of the soldiers and the sound of hooves hitting the ground in a regular manner rang out from behind the walls of the capital city. The people rushed out onto the streets and their balconies, craning their necks to be able to catch a glimpse of their Xian country’s heroes even a moment sooner.
The guards on duty opened the gates and with the sun glinting on his armor, Sang Yu rode into the city. A few scratches marred the surface of the golden plates and the dust of the road clung to his boots but it couldn’t detract from his majestic bearing.
The people cheered for him, as well as for his Generals and soldiers following him into the city.
Sang Yu gave them a smile, pausing a small ways from the gates. He motioned for the people to quiet down and his mellow voice rang out in the street that was holding its breath. "The war has been won. Our Xian kingdom has once again been victorious. Today, everyone will be able to celebrate."
His people cheered again, some of the women nearby throwing flowers from the balconies while the ones further away waved their colorful handkerchiefs, making the street seem like a forest in spring.
Sang Yu waved at them and then spurred on his horse. His black hair danced in the breeze and the dark cloak billowed behind him. Yes, everyone should celebrate their victory. As for him … There was only one way he wanted to celebrate.
He sped up the road, urging his horse to go faster. He didn’t look at the people at the side of the road and didn’t listen to the ones calling out from above. He only fixed his gaze on the palace that could be seen in the distance.
The gates finally came into view and with them the person that stood in front of them. He had his hands folded in front of his body while he looked down the street. There was a focused expression on his face as if he was intently listening for the cheering from the edge of the city and the sound of hooves that slowly got closer.
Their gazes met and a smile lit up his face. He stepped forward, waiting for Sang Yu to reach him.
With a light yell, Sang Yu urged on his horse for the last time before stopping in front of his husband. "Ru Shen."
Ru Shen lowered his head and bowed. "Welcome back, my Lord."
Sang Yu got down from the horse and reached out, taking Ru Shen’s hand. "Your Lord has returned victorious. Shouldn’t you give him a reward?" He gazed at him with narrowed eyes, a peculiar glint showing in them.
Ru Shen couldn’t help but smile. "Is my Lord sure that he wants to be handed his reward here?" He glanced at the men that had followed Sang Yu before he looked back at him.
"Well, for now, collecting the interest might be enough." Sang Yu raised Ru Shen’s hand to his mouth and lightly brushed his lips against the soft skin. "How have you been holding up?"
The skin around Ru Shen’s eyes crinkled in amusement. "My Lord’s worry warms my heart. However I have been holding up, I could never be as weary as my Lord must be from all the fighting and the long journey. Why don’t I accompany you inside and help you take off your armor now that you are back?"
Sang Yu smiled and squeezed Ru Shen’s hand. "Your care brightens my day, my dear." He turned to the men behind him, motioning back to the city. "You should also go and spend some time with your lovers and spouses. Rest well. I will let the servants prepare a feast for tonight. None of you will be able to return before the wee hours of the morning." He laughed and pulled Ru Shen closer to his side.
The Generals acknowledged his command and bowed before they left.
Sang Yu turned to look at his husband. "Let’s go."
Ru Shen nodded and followed him into the palace. Sang Yu handed the reins of his horse to a servant and gave his instructions for the celebration. Finally, the two of them returned to Sang Yu’s quarters that they hadn’t set foot into for several months.
Ru Shen walked close to Sang Yu, his gaze trained on that handsome profile. He had missed him. Far more than he was able to express with words. If he could, he would beg him not to leave again but he knew that that was impossible.
Sang Yu had founded this kingdom. He had swung his sword hundreds of times already to defeat those standing against him, both the ones that had wanted to keep their people and their Xian country down and the ones who had wanted to benefit and take over when they were finally thriving.
Sang Yu was the origin of this country, its hope. Naturally, he would have to go and fight once again if the need arose. Nothing could be done about that and it would be selfish to expect anything else.
Sang Yu closed the door behind them, not caring that the one doing this should have been Ru Shen. He turned to his husband and cupped his cheeks. "Let me take a look at you."
Ru Shen smiled. "Didn’t my Lord already do so outside?"
"Mn, I looked. But not long enough and not deeply enough either." He raised one hand and brushed Ru Shen’s forehead. "I will only be satisfied when I can say whether there are any new wrinkles here."
Ru Shen laughed in response. "My Lord is teasing me again. I thought that after you were gone for so long, you would only say sweet things for a while. Who knew my Lord would greet me with something like this?"
Sang Yu didn’t reply immediately. Instead, he indeed just looked at him, gazing into his eyes deeply, examining his face. It was as if he had decided to commit every single detail to memory down to every hair of his brows. Eventually, he sighed. "It is not sweet. It is bittersweet. For both of us. I managed to secure peace and gain some new territories but we had to separate for many moons. Every single wrinkle you gained is proof of the worries you had while I was gone. That is my fault. Not only did I leave you despite swearing that I would stay with you for the rest of your life, no, I also had you take on my tasks here in the palace. Say, do you resent me for that, Ah Shen?"
Ru Shen shook his head. "I am honored that my Lord trusts me enough to entrust these tasks to me. And I am glad that I am able to share at least one burden with my husband." He reached out and touched Sang Yu’s chest, his fingertips tracing one of the shallow scratches right above his heart. "Were you hurt?"
Sang Yu nodded. "I would lie if I said I wasn’t. But it’s not too bad. Nothing that won’t be healed in a few weeks."
"Then you’ll need a lot of rest and nourishing food. How about I help you out of the armor first?"
"Mn. I would be grateful if you did."
Ru Shen nodded and then went to work. He removed the pieces of armor as gently as possible, his fingertips only lightly grazing his husband’s body in fear of aggravating any wounds.
Sang Yu laughed after a while, glancing over his shoulder when Ru Shen went to drape the armor over the stand to the side. "You must think your husband is fragile."
Ru Shen gave the armor a last tug to make sure it was displayed well before he turned back to his husband. "My husband is certainly not fragile." He walked back over, brushing the simple robe Sang Yu had worn below the armor. "I am just afraid he is hurt. If by taking off his armor I was to make him feel pain accidentally, my own heart would hurt as well. So maybe I am a coward who just fears pain."
Sang Yu leaned down, grabbing his husband around the waist and pulling him up against his body. "Are you saying that your Lord is a coward?"
"Why? Are you also afraid to be hurt?"
"Afraid for you to be hurt." Sang Yu kissed his cheek, his lips lingering on his skin a moment longer. "I missed you. And I always feared that somebody would be up to no good and start something in the capital."
Ru Shen reached up, his fingers caressing Sang Yu’s neck. "The Xian kingdom should come first."
"I know." Sang Yu closed his eyes and hugged Ru Shen tighter. "But you are my most important person. How could I lose you? If I did … my heart might never be able to find rest knowing that I was the one who condemned you to that end." He tilted his head and their lips met halfway.
A satisfied sigh escaped Sang Yu’s lips when they separated and the skin around his eyes crinkled when he smiled. "I missed that as well."
"Just that?"
Ru Shen’s gaze was hot on his skin and Sang Yu gave a low chuckle in response. "Not just that." He leaned down once more, claiming ownership of that sweet mouth. His hands roamed over his husband’s back, slowly igniting a fire, and he pushed him toward the bed. He would have liked to pick him up and carry him over but after so many months of campaigning outside, he felt indeed somewhat weary. And if he strained one of his wounds, Ru Shen would be distraught.
yansusu
Yan Su Su

Creator

Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! While I am starting a new aro-led novel over on Patreon, I decided to make last year's aro short story "Just Listen to Your Heart" available for free on Tapas to spread some more awareness.
Since the story is too long for Tapas' character limit, I'll have to split it into three parts. Please bear with me!

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Just Listen to Your Heart
Just Listen to Your Heart

763 views53 subscribers

When his husband Sang Yu returns from war unscathed, Ru Shen is relieved. But at the same time, his old insecurities well up and disturb their passionate reunion, even threatening to end their relationship altogether.
Three words from Sang Yu would suffice to turn things around but he feels unable to say them. Now, he will need to explain the doubts and insight he kept to himself for years to make sure that his most important person will stay with him.

A story for aromanticism spectrum awareness week.
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3 episodes

Just Listen to Your Heart (1/3)

Just Listen to Your Heart (1/3)

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