my name is Rosa. I was born into a very religious family. they cared about religion more than me. they always followed the rules. there were so many rules. I was not allowed to do anything I want. I wanted to be free like the other people. my friends lived freely. I tried everything I could to leave my family. I wasn't allowed to do things. like I wasn't allowed to wear perfume. or wear jewelry. I was not allowed to have other religious friends. I wasn't allowed to go outside the house. they expected me to be trained to be a housewife. to do all the cleaning and cooking and taking care of children. I was going to be forced to marry somebody by the age of 19. I didn't want to.
I wanted to follow my dreams. I wanted to be free. but no matter how hard I prayed for a better life. I felt hopeless. there is nothing that will help me. I will be trapped in this world of unhappiness forever. but I will tell you my story.
one day, in an afternoon."Rosa, DID YOU PRAY?"
"yes, I did" I replied. "I don't believe you, when did you pray?" my mother said back. we argued a lot. I tried to explain when I prayed. she didn't believe me. after an hour of fighting, she told me to study. I was about to cry but I held it in. I looked at the clock then went and started to study. I couldn't do it.
after that, I ate dinner. got ready for bed. lying down. before I knew it tears were running down my face. I tried not to scream. but the pain from these wounds was killing me. I cried my self to sleep. I almost cry myself to sleep every night. in the morning I would be a mess. I try to get ready quickly. but putting the religious item takes so much time. my father would be bagging on my door. yelling for me to come out. it is humiliating to go through that.
when I get out my father already lives. so I rush out the door. when I reach the car he moves the car. I almost cry when he does that. but still going to school is more humiliating. the boys pick on me and try to annoy me. I get so mad that I start yelling and doing things I don't want to do. I am not that good at studies so my teachers hate me. I don't have any best friends. even when I hang out with people. I feel left out.
nobody likes me because of my family. I hate them. I hate them. when I get home. I lock my room door. take my tablet. and lose my self in social media and other things. I feel like myself and free. I can express my true self my true colors. I feel happy when I talk to people with them knowing my true side. it is like me taking a break from reality and the pain I have to fell every day.
One day, I got a friend request from someone. I looked at the profile. it had a pic of a boy, his name was Sam. he looked sweet and nice. he had a lot of pictures of him and his friends. he went to new places and his description said that he liked to make new friends. and get to meet new people. he is single and had a lot of friends. then he messaged me saying " Hi, I am Sam. I would love to be friends with you."
I thought to myself it wouldn't hurt to be friends with him. I accepted his friend request. I texted him back saying "Hi Sam, I am Rosan. I would love to be your friend" I change my name so my parents don't find out. I also put make-up to make my face look a little different. I also change my birthday. so I am a different person.
I texted him "how are you?", I wait for a while and then he texted back "I am good, thanks for asking. how are you?" then I got reminded of how my day went. it was horrible. but I didn't want him to know. so I just said "I am good, thanks for asking" then we started talking for a while. we talked about hobbies, things we like, things we hate. we were quite similar. we had so many things in common