When I was a child, I didn't really understand the difference between boys and girls. Even though I grew up with a brother and sister who were the exact opposite of each other, I never really saw it as a gender thing. After all, both of them played with me, and I was happy to play in whatever way they wanted.

The idea that Meghan was a girl, so she played with dolls, had tea parties, and played dress up was never something I thought of. I liked playing with dolls, too, and I liked playing pretend and having tea parties. I liked dressing up in all kinds of clothes, and Meghan even used me to teach herself how to use make-up.

The idea that Adrian was a boy, so he loved smashing his action figures together, wrestling, and being loud wasn't something I thought of, either. I liked playing with Adrian's action figures. I liked smashing them into buildings we created out of blocks. I didn't like wrestling or being loud, though. I didn't really like anyone touching me, and loud noises scared me.

I even had a friend as a child, her name was Juri Wong. Of course, I didn't realize that at the time, since "Juri" sounds a lot like "Julie". Whenever I went to her house, we'd play in her room and dress up as all sorts of things. While her family wasn't exceedingly well off, they had enough money to buy food and housing for all seven of the people in her family. Most of the clothes and costumes Juri had were things bought for her oldest sister, but Annie didn't mind letting us play with them.

It was, perhaps, in that period when I first began to realize that boys and girls were different, and it was all because of one interaction.

You see, Juri and I had been playing dress up. It was just after Halloween, and Juri was showing me the costumes that her family had worn. Annie had gone dressed as a princess from a game series. I didn't really recognize it, since my family didn't own any video games at the time, but the costume came with a pink dress and blonde wig.

"Ooo! Can I wear it?" I asked as I held the dress up.

Juri giggled and shook her head. "Of course not, silly. Boys don't wear dresses."

I didn't know why, but something in those words stung like a snake bite. "Well, what if I don't want to be a boy, then?"

I saw the smile on Juri's face wash away in an instant, as if I had said something utterly ridiculous. "Alex, that's not how it works..."

I folded my arms, giving Juri a stern look. "Mommy says I can be whatever I want when I grow up."

Juri's lips turned downward as I saw her expression suddenly shift again. "But... you have to be born a girl, Alex. That's not something you can change."

"You have to be born a girl, you can't change that." Those words would echo again and again in my head. I tried to argue, to tell her that I would change it one day, that I would become a girl. But I didn't know what that even meant back then.

That was one of the last times Juri and I ever interacted as children. Not because we had a fight or argued or anything. Instead, it was because Juri and her family moved away about two months after that. And, no, that also wasn't because of that incident. Juri's father had been promoted, but that promotion meant he had to start working in another, much further away building. Unfortunately, that meant that they just couldn't keep living there.

Once Juri moved away, I didn't really have a lot of friends. In fact, the amount of friends I had could be counted on one finger. Yeah, I literally had one friend for the rest of my childhood, a pretty girl of almost the same age as me. Her name was Danielle.

Unfortunately, when I was diagnosed with autism, her family suddenly became distant. They would rarely speak to me, and in the few moments when they would look at me, I could see resentment in their eyes. Slowly, Danielle began to play with me less and less, and by 8th Grade, she had stopped interacting with me altogether. She said it was "because boys and girls are just too different," but I was certain that wasn't the case. That was also about the time when I learned that people could be transgender, and that was what I was.

I wouldn't be given the chance to do anything about it for a long time, though; not until my senior year of high school. And this is where my story begins, in the middle of September.

There was a knock at my bedroom door that morning. "Alexis, honey, are you doing alright?" That was my aunt, her name is Elisa, I always called her 'Auntie Elisa'. I was living with her now, had been for about six months at that point.

"I'm okay, Auntie," I called back. "I'll be just another moment."

"Are you sure? Not too anxious? You can tell me if you feel like you can't go."

"No, no, I'm fine, Auntie, promise." I reached up and tied my hair into a high ponytail. I looked myself in the mirror, taking in the image before me.

I had long brown hair, though it was so light that it almost looked blond. As had been the case since I was little, my left eye was blue and my right was green. I was wearing a white shirt that had short pink sleeves and an image of my favorite cartoon pony on it. A frilly pink skirt covered the upper half of my legs, ending below my knees. I pressed my hands against my chest, ensuring the bits of soft foam I was using for fake breasts were in their proper place. I cleared my throat and tested my voice, "Alright, Alexis, it's time for your first day of school."

"MEOW!" Dusty, my cat, bellowed out. He was hungry and wanted breakfast.

"Auntie Elisa will feed you this morning," I spoke as I grabbed my backpack off my bed. "You be a good kitty." I stroked him on the head and he purred. I turned and stopped at the bedroom door, then took in a deep breath. "Here we go." I opened the door and presented myself to Auntie Elisa. "How do I look?"

Auntie smiled. "You look great." While I was 17 at the time, Auntie was quite a bit older. She was the eldest child in my father's family, putting her at nearly 50 years old. Truth be told, I was never brave enough to ask her exact age. She had long blond hair that she usually kept tied in some way. That day, she had tied it into a low ponytail which was currently resting over her shoulder. She was dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a black sleeveless top. Auntie always seemed to prefer outfits that sat low on chest, and this shirt was no different. Then again, if I was as well-endowed as her, I'd enjoy them, too.

"You don't think anyone will notice?"

Auntie shook her head. "Sweetie, I know you, and even I can't tell. Nobody will even give you a second thought."

"I hope you're right." I slipped my backpack onto my back, walked up to the front door, and opened it.

Auntie lived in a small suburb of modular homes. If you're not familiar with modular homes, they're kind of like trailers, but larger. Instead of one bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen-living room mixture, these homes often had multiple individual rooms. Double-wide homes, which made up much of the southern side of the suburb, consisted of two modular homes that were put together length-wise along a middle seam. This meant that every room was either entirely on the left or right side of the house and never crossed the middle. If they did, it was usually only one room that did so, and it was meant as the living and/or dining room.

On the north side of the suburb, where Auntie lived, were mostly "single wide" homes, which meant that they were only half as wide. Auntie's had a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen, a living room, and a single extra room. According to the blueprint, it was labeled as a "study". Auntie had mostly used it as a storage room until I moved in. Now, it was my bedroom, and Auntie had allowed me to decorate it however I wanted.

As for my school, Antioch High School was a fairly moderately sized school. You'd be forgiven for thinking that it would be a big school based on its name. From what I understood, Antioch High School opened back when Antioch was just a small village, and it was the only high school. Since that time, Antioch has grown into a full-blown city, but the name was never changed. There are other high schools in Antioch that use the same name, but they distinguish themselves by adding stuff like "West" or "East" or "Lake" to the name.

Now that I mention it, yes, there is a Lake Antioch. It's nowhere near where I lived in the city, and technically Auntie and I didn't even live in Antioch proper. We lived in the "rural area" of Antioch. It was close enough to the city that you could get into the city with a quick drive, but not so close that you could see the city from our home.

Antioch High School was also within walking distance from my home. Yes, it was roughly 20 minutes of walking, but it also meant I didn't need to worry about riding a bus. While Auntie did want me to take the bus, and while the school did have a bus that came by, if I was going to pick between a 20 minute walk or a 20 minute drive in a bus full of people as it goes around and picks up other people, I'd rather take the walk.

Still, Auntie wanted to at least take me there herself for my first day. "It'll do me good to get some exercise!" she would say. Auntie didn't need to worry about being late for work or anything, either. Her job was as an artist in a game development studio. Unfortunately, that studio operated from England or was it Scotland? Regardless, they had had a studio in America, but poor sales forced them to close it. Still, Auntie was apparently super close with the head of the studio, a girl named Amanda, and Amanda refused to fire her. "She and I... might have dated once... or twice... or maybe... five times..." Auntie would say.

The plan was for them to build up funds from their next game release, then use those funds to pay for Auntie to move there. Unfortunately, my circumstances caused that plan to fall through. So, Auntie worked from home drawing art for the game studio. "I know it won't last," Auntie would say. "Once this current project is done, I'll have to either move or quit. Working for a studio that's half a planet away just doesn't work well. But I've already done so much work on this project, it'd literally cost them more to hire a new artist than it does to keep paying me."

Anyway, I think we've gotten off-topic enough. Auntie and I had made our way to the school. The doors of the school were imposing, especially since I really didn't want to be found out. Auntie re-assured me that everything would be okay, then gave me a hug. She waited and watched as I walked to the doors. "Come on, Alexis, you got this. It's not your first time at a school..." I wasn't technically lying. It was the first time I, as Alexis, had gone to school, but it wasn't the first time that I, the person, had.

I pushed open the doors to the High School and immediately froze. The entry hall was filled with students. "Oh... fuck..." My eyes darted left and right. I suddenly felt like I was in a stealth game, and someone seeing me was going to be game over. I wasn't ready to be Alexis at school yet. Of course, I knew I never would be ready, but I immediately realized just how not ready I was in that moment. So, I did the only thing I could think of...

I ran straight to the bathroom.

I leaned my back against the wall, letting my backpack slip down. The bathrooms in the school were the sort that had a curved entrance so there were no doors in or out. "Fucking hell... this sucks..."

"Hello there," a voice spoke up.

I screamed and jumped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." The girl that the voice belonged to smiled at me.

The girl was short, probably no taller then 5 feet. She wore a denim skirt with a pink short-sleeved shirt. The shirt's neck hole was wide enough that it drooped down one of her shoulders, exposing either a white tank top or something else. I wasn't quite sure, and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask. She had short black hair that went down to the top of her neck, and her bangs ended right above her eyes. This girl... I knew her. She couldn't be...

"My name's Juri. Wong Juri." She gave a bow. "I'm half Chinese and half Japanese. Despite living my entire life here in America, I was raised to say my surname first."

She said those words as if she had practiced them a hundred times. Was she used to introducing herself that way?

Julie looked me over. "I don't recognize you. Are you a new student?"

"Y-yeah..." I stuttered. "C-completely new here... haven't even had my first class, yet."

"Well, yeah, the first class hasn't even started, yet." Juri tilted her head as she looked me over. "I don't think I caught your name."

"I-it's Alexis. My name, I mean. My name is Alexis." Can you tell I was nervous and scared?

"Alexis, huh?" Juri's eyes lowered down my body.

"U-umm... c-could you not... stare, please?" I asked.

"Sorry, it's just... for some reason... I feel like I've seen you before..."

"I-I only moved here a couple months ago, a-and I'm autistic, so I don't get out much. So I d-don't think there's any way we could have seen each other anywhere." My eyes were darting around, hoping for an escape. The only escape, though, was back outside the bathroom.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Alexis." Juri smiled and reached her hand out to me.

"N-nice to meet you, too!" I shook her hand quickly. "I have to go, bye!" Without even waiting for a reaction, I dashed out the bathroom at full speed.

"W-well... not exactly shy per say... Just kind of... a-autistic..." I looked away as I said those words.