I am confused. I have made certain decisions in the past few years of my life that feel irreversible at this point. I shouldn’t regret them. I shouldn’t want things to be different because honestly, these are the choices I should be making…right? I shouldn’t feel this way. I hate myself for feeling this way. 

It’s 7:30am and I am staring at the school from my car, trying to find the willpower to get out and make my way to class. I am halfway through my senior year. It’s bittersweet of course, but I’m so ready for the next chapter in my life. At least I think I am. Although my family may not approve all that much, I don’t plan on going to college right away. I want to move away and build my life somewhere else for a year before I continue my education. Somewhere far from this hillbilly town. The town I was forced to move to because my parents divorced and my life flopped. The town where I am constantly sick because 80% of the air I breath is pollen. This place is and always will be a sore spot for me. Reluctantly, I get out and start walking. 

I can feel a familiar presence sneaking up behind me. I already know that it’s my friend, Wesley, who always tries to scare me but never succeeds. 

“Boo!” He whisper screams in my ear, “did I get ya this time?”

“Not quite, Wes, but keep trying. Maybe one of these days you’ll startle me, haha”

My relationship with Wesley is kind of complicated. We’ve been on again off again for the past six years, but that’s over now. I have another boyfriend who graduated last year. You may think it weird that Wesley and I are still friends, but we were best friends before anything, and he will always be my best friend. 

“I’ll see you for lunch, Em?”

“Sure thing, Wes.”

He gives me a quick squeeze on the shoulder and runs off to his JROTC class. I linger for a bit in the hallway and watch him. Things didn’t quite work out with him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love him, even if our romantic relationship is over. 

“Ember, class is starting, take your seat.” 

With a jump, I hurry over to my table in Mrs. Roger’s class. If anyone could startle me, it was her.