Judgement. All around me I see judgement. When was the last time I heard a few positive words from the people around me? Well I don't expect any good words from them either. Who would want to compliment someone like me? I'm fat, have dark skin colour, a nerd and so on. I presume all the bad qualities in the world were given to me. And to top it all off I have a disgusting secret. I'm a lesbian. If my parents or anyone else finds out I'm done for.
Wait first let me introduce myself then we'll talk more. My name is Serene Choi. I am a Chinese- Indian American student. I'm the oldest child in my family of six. I have two spoilt sisters who are twins and one annoying brother whose a year younger than me. My mom is Indian and a well known model while my dad is Chinese American and the CEO of Choi Industries. Since I'm the oldest people expected me to follow in their footsteps. Truth be told no one knows that my father is never going to give me the company until I find a responsible husband after graduation.
But like I said before I'm a fucking lesbian. Just my luck I guess. And second my family has very good looking people. I'm the only ugly one. Every one judges me for being the black sheep of my family. My parents are the worst though. They "discipline" me every day about how much of a fucked up child I am. This discipline involves daily lectures, beatings and of course the damned whip. I hate my life so much and it hurts when your own self despises you to. But I'm living with it I guess.
Anyways, I try to concentrate on the lecture that the professor is currently trying to explain but I can't help it. The voices keep on tormenting me and I know everyone is watching my every move and judging me. That's why I prefer to look down at my notes or at the professor. This is getting harder and harder for me to endure on a daily basis. How long must I suffer?
The only darn decent thing I want is someone who actually fucking cares and loves me. The only good friend I had decided to study abroad leaving me here in this hell hole alone. What a kind best friend right? Anyways I won't blame her, she always wanted to study abroad so it doesn't matter. She's the only one who knows I'm a lesbian and fully supports it. And my by fully support I mean fan girls about it when she sees me with someone who could be a potential partner for me.
But truth is no one cares about me. For once I just want peace and happiness. I just want to be free of everyone's stares and criticism and live my life normally.
The professor ends her lecture and bows and then packs his stuff and leaves. I do the same but before I can even do anything, Anna, one my of main bullies, takes my satchel and runs away with it. Normally I wouldn't care but today I accidentally brought my grandma's amulet with me for good luck. Yes my grandma's fucking amulet. So instead of wasting time I started running after her because it meant so much to me. It was the last gift my grandma gave me before she passed away. Bad idea on the running though because after a few minutes of me chasing her through the hallways and crowded students I started losing my breath. Guess that's what I get for being lazy, but I didn't care because I wanted my satchel back.
I chased her all the way towards the girls locker room and then suddenly something hit me on the face. More like SOMEONE punched me in the face. The impact was so strong that it made me fall down on the floor. I felt an ache in my nose and immediately realised that either its broken or completely drowned in pain. Either way that shit hurt. No one ever got physical but I think today they decided to change that. I slowly opened my eyes to look at who was there and found four people standing around me while pointing and laughing at me. Great.... Its them.
The first one was obviously the blonde slut Anna and her best friend Carol, along with Anna's current boyfriend Raymond and Carol's brother Ash. To think my day couldn't get any worse. And how did the boys even manage to get into Tue girls locker room? Oh wait... The University doesn't have the sports event these days so obviously girls don't come here often. I'm in deep shit today.
"Well, well, well, if it ain't the fat whore. Did you like that little marathon we just had? Hah I bet you were tired the second you got up didn't you? Pathetic is what I'd like to call you. Positively pathetic." The other three laughed at her words and I felt like punching the Blondie bitch in the gut but then the others would attack me so I'll just stay put.
"Just give me my satchel back Anna. I don't wanna fight today. Please just give it back." I sound like a needy slut but I can't help it. I need that satchel back, I can't lose the one gift, that someone who truly cared about me had given me.
"Are you actually begging for this? How pathetic can you get? Lets see what's in this shall we?" She grabs the satchel from Carol, who was holding it for her and opens it. I panic and my instincts kick in. I lunge towards and slam her to the floor taking my satchel from her and then backing away from them. I can't believe I just did that, I'm fucked.
Carol and the others had wide eyes and Anna was on the floor groaning in pain. Carol helps her up while glaring at me. The boys start to move towards me and I gulp.