Being a Christian isn’t always easy. It isn't.

And I'd just like to say before moving on, to anyone who is queer and left the faith, I completely understand. Or, as much as I can understand from my limited perspective.

To anyone who stuck around, I commend you. Like seriously, clap clap. I know how that is.

People in this faith who are LGBTQ and more go about it differently. That’s to be expected. Some people find a way to reconcile their faith with their sexuality. Some do not and spend their lives working hard to live in a way that is pleasing to our God. 

I figured I’d only be the latter. I didn’t once consider that I’d also be the first thing. You obviously have to live a little longer and see what happens but once upon a time, I figured I wouldn’t have a happy ending. So I spotted a small window of opportunity, and decided to shoot my shot. 

In retrospect, it was selfish. The guy didn’t need me bugging him but I really really really liked him and I was hoping for something.

Should have followed my gut. That small, nagging voice I kept hearing.

 This isn’t gonna work out the way you think.

And the voice was right. I figure it was God and in that respect I should have listened. But I didn’t and it caused me a lot pain. 

You never know what God is trying to protect you from.