Chapter One: The Shadow Man.

“I am still having that same dream that torments me each and every night while I sleep. That dream, which is my constant reminder of my frail nature.”

I wake from that dream, that fucking dream, which is, as it is, for I am only human, or at least I think I am, because that dream seems so real, as if I am not meant to wake from it. I am paralyzed from the realization of that ever so real dream. Sleep paralysis over comes me, which makes me unable to move, as if I was not meant to wake from the reality of the perception of that fucking dream that torments me so.

I turn my head to the extreme left to shell-shock my body to jump start, as if I am a car out of gas, or suffering from the lack of power from the obsolete battery running within me. I jump to my feet to feel the cold floor tingle my human senses, which reminds me I am human; once again. 7:45 am, the digital clock flashes, as I look to the eerie red light blinking beside me. The power shut off while I was asleep; do I really think if it is that time; maybe it is later, maybe it is earlier than I think it to be.

I grab my cell phone to see the true time; it is only 5:30 am; two more hours to spare, but at the same time I fear to go back to sleep for that dream I am tormented by. Why do I hate the dreams I dream, why can’t I dream of Britney Clark? That angel, which I feel the need to be around, as if she was meant just for me. She is so beautiful to me with her hazel eyes and brunette hair, and that tan skin, which makes me want to brush her hair behind her ear, and look into her eyes with such passion. To allow her to realize my desire for her, but these thoughts I have towards her are maddening, and I know she will never feel the same towards me as I do her, so these thoughts I think to be maddening are true.

                                                    “7:30 am”

Two hours have passed already, as if I had slipped into the internal consciousness of my own lonely mind. I have to get ready for school, to brush my teeth, to comb my hair; to do the same things I always do before school. I look into the mirror at the weary sight of my saddened existence. Those bright, angelic, blue eyes I have sicken me, as I part my black hair to the side to look stylish for her, for the secret love of my life. I smile at myself to fill my vanity, to help with those depressive thoughts of my own frail comprehension to why I exist alone. I grab my back-pack, and run out the door, as the echoes from my mother and father’s goodbye catches up to me.

                                                     “7:50 am”

I’m going to be late, but not by much; I start sprinting down the side-walk; waving at all the people standing in their yards, but none of them wave back. Too many rumors have spread about my family I suppose, yet a big part of me could care less for their falsified opinions. I can see the high school in the distance, but I have ran too fast for too long; I have to catch my breath before I can go any further, yet as I am catching my breath; I hear a car in the distance gaining fast. I turn around to see who it is, and of course it is the school bully that has some fetish towards tormenting me.

His name is Jim Johnson; that six foot, blonde hair, blue eyed barbarian quarter-back, and as he approaches me with his yellow piss tinted colored 1982 camaro; he slows down ever slow, and as the passenger window rolls down; I see the angelic face of Britney.

          “Allen, you better hurry up, or your gonna be late for school.”

I suddenly see Jim’s hand lift out of the driver side window with a half-empty plastic bottle of milk. He throws it at me, but I am too tired, too out of breath to move, and it pours all down me. I look at my milk drenched cloths, and then back to Britney; only to see her giggling as they drive away. I lower my head, and while my vanity and pride disappears, I feel a single tear roll down my cheek; because now I truly know how she feels towards me. I slowly pace myself the rest of the way to school, because I have lost my desire to go now.

I enter the parking lot to see Jim and Britney kiss by his piss colored car. I make my way to the main entrance, and as I approach the front door I hear the voice of that falsified angel behind me, yet as I turn around Jim pushes me to the rough pavement, but I am too tired to catch my balance and I land face first on the ground; making me bleed, yet all I hear is the giggling from Britney as she walked away with Jim.

I would have never thought she hated me this much; what have I ever done to her to be hated like this. I stand to my feet, while the blood from my fore-head drips from my face, as I enter the front doors. The crowds of confused teenagers rush around the halls; filling it like a school of fish. They then all start to scamper to their class rooms as the late bells rings. I enter the mass of superficially erratic idiots scurrying around like bind mice, yet I join in like a piece to a jig-saw puzzle.

I am rushed to my first period class; time to start my day once again. I enter Mr. Kelly’s class room, and soon go to the first empty seat I come across and lay my math book on the table. Mr. Kelly walks in, and all the sexually confused girls in the room begin to awe at this six foot, blonde hair, blue eyed man as they do everyday.

“Good morning class, please bring your completed homework to and               place it on my desk.”

The sound of zippers unzipping is like a chorus, like music to my ears; something to remind me I am not dreaming, and these people around me are just as aware as I, just as confused about their egocentric delusions.

  “Allen Moore, are you going to turn in your homework sometime today?”

I stand up; I must have been stuck in my internal consciousness for far too long again, yet as I walk to the front of the class-room; I hear the silent gossip of the students all around me. I approach the desk of Mr. Kelly, but as I do I notice his eyes; he is sizing me up, as if I have offended him somehow. I place my home-work on his desk, while he gives me a befriending smile I can see through like a glass of water, but what thoughts is he harboring of me? I turn around to go back to my seat, and that is when I see the angelic master-piece looking at me with a devilish smile on her face. I still yearn for her, which makes me smile back, but her smile disappears into disgust towards me, as if she never desired me at all.

I stop and stare into her lovely hazel eyes, as she looks away in revolt, yet I do not care, for she is so beautiful to my weary eyes. I return to my seat with my ego and pride gone once again. I sit in my seat and lean my head down onto the cooling, refreshing feeling of my lonely desk. I close my eyes and soon the class bell rings; I look at the black-board to see what home-work I have for tonight; three more classes left until I can finally go home. I enter the hallway of the confused teens once again. I try to fit in like a piece to a jigsaw puzzle like I did before, but I am unable to, because I can no longer function within their egocentric society.

I scurry to my locker to get my social studies book for my next class. Jim Johnson seamlessly finds his way to me, as if he has some knack for finding me.

                                                    “Hey, loser”

Jim runs to me with a fury and tackles me into the lockers behind me then walks away like nothing ever happened, like he was better than me, like I was nothing to him. I slowly stand to my feet, yet as I look around it seems no one is even concerned about me; as if I am not even here, as if I don’t even exist to them. I become overwhelmed with such sorrow towards this existence that I exist in, yet such sudden hatred that clouds my perception towards these creatures, these egocentric delusions I am unable to erase.

I step heavy as I enter into the masses of hungry wolves; I can feel their eyes burning into my skull. I walk for what seems a mile; slowly pacing my way to room 38. Mr. Johnson’s social studies class. If only he knew what his son does to me, or maybe he does know. I approach room 38 when Jim Johnson tackles me to the ground.

                   “Hey loser, I heard you were staring at my girl!”

Jim spit on my face then stood to his feet, and as he was walking away he gave me an evil smile. I slowly stood to my feet, and yet again it seemed no one seemed to care. I wanted to scream at them, but I did not; their simply not worth my time. I walk into my social studies class, but my legs feel weak from my bully’s onslaught I keep getting today, and now it is going to be worse, because I was looking at, and desiring Britney. I walk pass Mr. Johnson’s desk; that six foot, black haired man; with those green eyes I can feel passing their judgments on me.

                          “Hello Allen, your looking great today.”

That fucking smile he makes when he insults me, that fucking smile sickens me to the point of madness. I look at him for just a second; I wanted to say something, but again, their just simply not worth my time. I walk to my seat, as the silent gossip fills the air around me. Jim Johnson stuck out his foot at the perfect time for tripping me; at this point I am too tried to try and catch my balance and I fall to the floor like a falling tree to bare land. The crowds of students around me begin laughing; even Mr. Johnson was chuckling. I rose to my feet and slowly paced to my desk-chair.

I sat down and once again leaned my head on the cooling surface of my metal and granite chair table. I feel myself beginning to fall asleep, yet that fucking dream keeps me afraid, but this present reality makes me welcome that shadow man from my dream. I close my eyes.

Darkness comes next, yet it begins to fade, as the nightmarish, moon-lit, open plain with howling winds and darkened clouds appear to me. That shadow man has gotten closer each and every time, but now we are face to face. A being made entirely of darkness with eerie, red glowing eyes that seems to pierce through my soul. The shadow man suddenly grabbed me by my shoulders then gave me a big hug.

“Allen Moore, you have been created for a purpose beyond your current predicament, your current awareness; be free my beautiful creation.”

The shadow man begins to merge into me, but there is only acceptance; not fear, nor pain. I feel a rush of ecstasy go up my spine. I fall to the black colored grassy plain. The absolute darkness comes back and engulfs me into consciousness, but my perception, my awareness has completely changed.

Allen awakes from his rebirth with a roaring battle cry, while his body becomes complete darkness, yet as the final changes to Allen were happening he screamed out.“I finally see the truth.” Allen has become a being of darkness; he opens his eerie, red glowing eyes. Room 38 explodes, while the fire from the blast forced its way into the crowded hallway. “These screams, these screams are just for me; like music to my ears.” Allen whispered to himself, as he stepped out of the inferno, and into the fiery hallway of burning, superficially, erratic idiots screaming from this reality they had wrought upon themselves from Allen’s sorrow, his torment; his hatred towards them.

The ceiling sprinklers began to pour down water, and as the fire was snuffed out Allen continued to walk down the smoking hallway; looking at all the dead bodies around him. “Such a waste is it not? Yes, indeed it is Allen.” Allen whispered to himself, while the sirens from the police cars and fire truck echo from outside. Allen begins to sprint down the hallway; faster and faster to the brick wall at the end.

Allen busted through the brick wall and out into the world of man; he lands, while the falling bricks from his entrance pummel the police cars around him. The police get out of their cars. Allen slowly stands to his feet, while the officers follow with their guns to his every move. Allen stood tall and looked around to see all the guns pointed at him; he suddenly noticed all the officers were trembling; they were terrified of him. Allen leaned his head back and let out a demonic roar that cracked the ground he was standing on. The officers open fire, while the expanding cracks begin to move to the police cars; the ground began shifting, as if an earthquake ripping through the land.

Allen starts laughing at all the chaos he has created, but suddenly he stops. “The lies you believed to be true are now falling apart, and as so; all your perceptions of reality shall be erased.” Allen whispered to himself before he disappeared into a void of darkness, yet after he was gone; the landscape began to repair itself back to it’s original flat surface, but the police cars and fire trucks were gone; only the police and fire fighters remained.

Allen appeared in his bed-room, and just stood there in a daze; he looked around confused at this past life before him. Allen screams and his room instantly turns to ash. “Ashes to ashes.” Allen whispered to himself, as his mom entered the room; he looked to her and she suddenly turned to ash. Allen reaches out to his mom’s remains, but doesn’t touch her. “I see her true form, her true self; yes Allen, you can see through her lies now.” Allen whispered to himself, while he continued to walk through of house of fading memories.

The police from before broke down the front door, and the masses poured in around him with their guns blazing. Allen lifted his hands then slowly lowered them, and as he was lowering his hands; all the police officers in the room slowly started to turn into ash. They were all still shooting at him when he suddenly clinched his hands into fists. Every officer turned completely into ash; Allen disappears within a void of darkness once again, as the officers break apart.

“This life is far to imperfect to exist along side us; we must punish the wicked, yet show no mercy to the righteous, so that when we eradicate this falsified reality; there will be no judgments; only absolution.” Allen whispered to himself, while a bright yellow mask appeared on his faceless head. Allen’s eerie, red eyes glow from the eye holes of the mask, as a black, thick strip appeared across the lower part of his mask like a mouth; an evil smile.