You hear all of these horror stories before actually making your journey through high school; having your head flushed down the toilets, being forced to do physical education in your underwear (if you forget your kit), and about how horrible young adults can be to those that are different. Unfortunately, I was the latter. The first two were more likely to be stories told by your parents, to ensure good behaviour.
I'd spent the last year sitting alone at my work table. It was how I liked it. I could concentrate on my school work, and my thoughts, and ignore everyone else. The peacefulness of being alone was exactly what I needed to escape the daily taunting and name-calling. I always sat in the same chair in the same English Language lesson and it was a day like today that I was grateful for the large windows opposite me. Five glass panes almost stretched from the floor to the ceiling and could never be opened, silver frames encased them. Snow had begun to fall a few hours prior and it had lined the ground and the leafless trees in the forecourt. Watching the specks of snow and listening to my thoughts sent me into a daydream trance.
I felt the warm touch against my hand. I was holding hands with a boy I didn't know. A smile stretched across my face. The snow falls quicker and quicker. His cute buttoned nose was twitching in the cold as he stuck his tongue out to catch the flakes falling from the sky. I copied. Each snowflake was bigger than the last before we both fell to the ground and began making snow angels. His larger athletic body scraped more snow than I could muster with my skinny arms. I could feel the cold snow melting underneath my thick blue jacket before something hit me in the head.
"Oi. Faggot."
Reality hit me. A scrunched-up ball of paper lay lifeless on the ground not too far from me. I turned on the uncomfortable plastic chair and went to pick up the paper ball which I could only assume was what had hit me. Gripping it in my small hand, several other paper balls flew in my direction. I retracted back to my original sitting position, released the paper ball from my grasp and huffed silently.
Lewis Hay. He was the most popular boy in the school and was also the leader of the gang of boys who had made my life hell over the last year. As suddenly as the news had reached him, and his petulant monkeys, that I had finally come out as gay they would make jokes that they'd call 'banter' - it was bullying. However, I just accepted it and hoped they go away. Lewis and his gang would take turns pushing me to the ground, stealing my backpack and emptying its contents onto the floor. I had learned to ignore, and not take it personally. However, there were days that I would go home and cry to myself because it had become too much. In recent months, the less attention I paid them, the less they paid me until today.
"Oi. Did you not hear me queer?" Lewis mocked, in a very poor imitation of my slightly higher-than-average voice, from across the room.
"Fuck off." I imagined myself yelling back but stayed silent as the others laughed hysterically.
Seconds later the door of the classroom swung open and Mr Keet entered the room urging for silence. He was wearing his usual burgundy tie and blazer. He was being sheepishly followed by a boy whose school tie was slightly askew and his cheeks looked to be red with awkwardness. His hands were tucked away in his tight trouser pockets, and his ginger-tinted hair flopped and swayed with each step he took.
"Good afternoon 11E. We have a new student joining us today, please be kind." Mr Keet ushered the boy forward and pointed at my empty table: "Please be seated over there."
The thoughts running through my head panicked me as the boy quickly made his way across the room. My heart started racing. I had always chosen to sit alone and now this was being taken away from me. I watched his every step until he stopped right in front of me. Lewis had been chatting loudly at his table and had expressed interest in wanting the new boy to sit with them. Mr Keet expressed intent for silence as the chattering became louder. The new boy removed his hands from his pockets and then pulled out the chair situated next to me. He sat silently before tilting his head towards mine.
"Hello." He whispered, almost silently.
I tilted my head to look at him and I could not do anything but stare at him in awe. My mind emptied and all I could do was gaze into his glistening brown eyes, admire how cute he was and I'm sure I mumbled nonsensical.
"Are you okay?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, concerned. I was removed from my sudden delirium and nodded, clearing my throat.
"Hi."
He smiled at me as though he'd just achieved a miracle. My stomach filled with butterflies. Is this what love felt like? No. I didn't even know his name. I knew nothing about him. I tried to stop the feeling inside and blushed before I turned away from him so that I could hide the embarrassment.
"Do you have a name?"
He unzipped his backpack, removed his pens and notebook for this class and then looked at me, awaiting my response.
"Leo..." I said quietly, the blushing fading and then returning.
"I'm Thomas. It's nice to meet you."
Comments (2)
See all