Midnight Deliriums.

Foreword.

Memories of yesterday have been left marked on my skin today, when the night is cold I look at yesterday wanting to go back to the past and never having crossed paths with you, never having called your attention, not having answered that midnight call…

Your insecurities have burned my faith, I have nothing left to lose, I just want the days to pass without ceasing, for the darkness to leave my being, I want to tear you from my life and take me out of this hell, I don't want to breathe your breath because I want to live and I don't want to die; I don't want your eyes to have life, please, don't look at me through a glass again, I don't want to be trapped like the light in time, or ¿am I the one who lights up this room?

LET ME CRY, I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE!!!.

DON'T LOOK AT THE BEGINNING, LOOK AT THE END...

What does it matter now, I just don't want to feel the pain, the wounds hurt, but your twisted way of loving can't be love; I want to start over, I don't want to see you, I don't want to remember you, I don't want you to know that I'm going to hate you for the rest of my days, no matter how many times I try, but at some point I'll find a way to escape from you.

 I want to forget and start all over again, ¡THAT'S NOT MY SON!; He's only yours, I don't want him because I never agreed on how he was conceived, don't make me love him because I want him to die in my arms.

LET ME FLY, OR MY BEING WILL DIE WITH EVERY MEMORY…

I can start over if the child does not live far from you, if the creature in my womb dies before being born, then rue tea seems to be my only friend. ¿How much is needed? ¿One cup, two cups, three cups or four cups to get rid of this evil that feeds inside me?

The blood on my hands is a sign that I have succeeded, but the sirens in my ears along with the light that passes incessantly before my eyes on a white ceiling, brings me back: the child is alive and barely survived to chain me to his side, but I do not want to be his mother, I want my life back, I want to hear the applause of the theater when the curtain opens and the play begins, I want to merge with the music into a single being and make the dance a common feeling, I want the mask to not have to cover the scars that did not exist when I met you, but it is a monster that steals my life, my years, my youth, you are the vile vampire who wants my elixir of life to survive; I want to jump off the cliff and so my life would not be present.

I know I can fly even though my wings are broken, each of the scars you have left planted on my skin over time is a reminder of how much I hate you, but ¿who remembers what happened to love and hate before they existed? ¿What happened before two stars exploded when they collided?

I don't want to live in your world, but you're used to dragging me into the shadows and showing me that I must pay you back with very high interest for the love you hold on to, while your gun caresses my face my tears come out begging for mercy, but you wouldn't see a white flag in the middle of the darkness because you're evil and cruel, you're a ruthless man, without morals, cynical, you're a rapist, but the worst of all is that I still love you...

I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A FLOWER TO MAKE ME FEEL THAT LOVE HAS NOT DIED, THAT PAIN HAS NOT WON AND THAT MONOTONY IS JUST A DELIRIUM OF THE PAST…