Dear Nobody,

Hi again, I guess. The shrink sorta told me off for not writing in this thing last week. I just don't see the point. Don't get me wrong, I get the theory. I get the application. I just don't see how it's supposed to help me. I'm supposed to be doing this to 'express myself' and 'work out my problems' or some other new-age bullshit. Honestly, to me, it just sounds like a lazy cop-out for a lazy shrink who doesn't want to do any work but wants to still have something to talk about. I see here you were feeling particularly shitty this week Ozzie. Care to elaborate? Nah not really, I mean I always feel shitty, that's sorta why I'm here. So, it had nothing to do with XYZ? Great job, I see you can read. Want a cookie? Now, no need to be hostile Ozzie. See? Lazy.

Oh, and of course the want to get paid. Huh. I probably shouldn't say that though right?

But fine. Okay. I'll bite.

People always ask me: 'Ozzie, why do you hate your Birthday so much?' Well. No. No one asks that because no one knows that the thought of my birthday makes me want to puke. But if people did, that's probably what they'd ask.

The answer? Because...

NOYFB.

(That's 'none of your fucking business' by the way)

Ha. You probably thought I'd actually humor you. Funny. Sorry. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Figure it out yourself. You have my file. You know what I've been through.

HMU when you do.

...That means 'hit me up'...seriously, brush up on your 21st-century acronyms.