Sadly, I had cancer. I had only two years left after the diagnose. I did a chirotherapy, but it looked like it didn’t helped at all. My condition got worse everyday. Deep down I knew that I would never be able to talk to you in this life. One day I watched you playing with your sister at the playground again, I thought you took my breath but my cancer made me stop breathing. I lost my last breath just like my hair. I heard you screaming, the last thing I saw were your face, your freckles, your tears. No I don’t want to pass out. Not until I could stop you from crying, to hug you and tell you that everything will be okay. But everything went black, before I was able to say anything. When I opened my eyes I was in a room, it wasn’t my room. The walls were white, it made me sad just laying in this bed. There were a window on the right of the room, next to me, I decided to look what’s going on outside. There were only a couple of trees and a few people. I looked at my left there were also a window, it doesn’t let you look what’s going on outside but you were able to look what was happening in the corridors. I saw my mom, she was talking with a man. Another man clamed you down. One of them was my doctor, he was the one who talked to my mom. Yes now I know where I was. I was at the hospital. As soon as our eyes met you ran into the room hugging me. I was happy that you saw me even in this condition. You gave me the feeling that you never wanted to let me go and to be honest neither did I. You visited me everyday in the hospital. It was hard to believed that my biggest wish became true before I leave this live. We spend a lot time with, beautiful hours with talking, joking and laughing. Just you and me. 

One day it happened, I never thought that this day will come, not now, please we were together you was smiling, I was happy. But my mom came in my room tears filled her blue eyes, her raven black hair lay on her shoulders, they were wet. It was probably raining outside, I didn’t noticed. I remember how my grandma told me that I looked a lot like my mom, the eyes, the hair. My mother’s voice disturbed my thought. „My son, my sweet boy.“ She said. „No matter what, please stay strong.“ Mom wanted to say something again but she started crying. I didn’t know what to do, I never saw her like this. I wanted to scream I don’t know why but I couldn’t. It was you voice, your sweet, soft, clamming voice which stopped me. „Ma’am please clam down and sit.“ You took her hand and helped her to went to a chair next to my bed. My mom took my hand. I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want to hear it. My mom tried to say something again but the door opened and my doctor entered. He was tall and had blonde hair, his brown eyes fitted his black glasses, he had a little smile on his lips. I knew that it wasn’t because of something good. 

And I was right. His smile disappeared in a few seconds, now he looked really sad. „Well, I don’t know if your mother already told you or not.“ While he said that, he looked at my mom who shacked her head. „Well“ he said again. „It’s hard to say but you only have a week.“ I looked at you saw how shocked you were, I fell the fear to lose you. Then I realized how much worse my condition was, I never really thought about it, I always focused on you. I am glad I didn’t looked at my health, because if I would these past month’s weren’t as beautiful as there were. You kept visiting me, but it was different you didn’t shine as much as usual. No I never wanted to see you this sad. The day has come, the day of my death. How I knew it? Well, I felt it, I wasn’t sad or scared but I also wasn’t happy or relieved. Mom and you stood next to my bed. You both probably had the same felling like me. When I started closing my eyes I whispered to you; „Don’t worry, I will find my way back to you.“