It was Keith’s first
day of primary school during lunch break. He
had been outside, playing with his action figures on the lawns when he found himself rubbing his tired, tear filled eyes as he was
pushed over into the muddy grass by three larger boys. He gasped painfully as
he hit the wet ground with a thud, biting his
wobbling lipashis brand-new pants immediately stained a dark brown colour. The young
boy looked up through his long black hair, which had fallen in front of his face as he sobbed
silently to himself.
“Yeah, look at you hair, you look like a girl! Only girls
have long hair!”
“Girly girl, girly girl!”
Keith looked down at the ground as the three boys circled
around him, fists clenched on his thighs as they began calling him names and
stomping in the puddles of water that soaked Keith through. He wrapped his arms
around his small fragile body and prayed that they’d stop, that he didn’t have
to be there anymore, that he could go home.
He didn’t speak up, too shy and scared when he heard another
pair of footsteps approach. He whimpered and tightened his arms around himself,
preparing for more hateful words and splashes of water when a loud smack echoed
through the air. Keith heard a loud cry and gasped, looking up to find the
three boys running away. He stared up,
and saw a fourth boy that he didn’t recognise, fists clenched and standing
protectively over Keith’s crouched body.
“Yeah you better run away!”
Keith’s eyes widened as he stared up at the unknown boy.
This boy was tan, only a pair of shorts and a striped worn-out shirt covering
his slim frame, despite the cold weather. He had brown hair that had ruffled
slightly in the wind and a band aid covering his left cheek. But his eyes,
Keith couldn’t help but gasp audibly as those bright blue eyes met his own.
“Here!” the boy smiled, reaching a hand down for Keith to
Keith hesitated slightly before he slowly reached up and
gripped the boys warm hand, letting the smiling boy help him climb from the
muddy patch that he’d been so rudely pushed into. He stood up straight and
looked over the boy with curious eyes. “You stopped those boys?” he asked
The boy chuckled and nodded his head proudly, holding his
chin up. “They were being mean to you! And I don’t like that. Bullies are mean
and deserve to be hit.” He chuckled once again before smiling at Keith. “And I
don’t think your hair is girly.” He said honestly, eyes shining as he spoke. “I
Keith’s eyes widened at the comment and he quickly dropped
the boy’s hand, moving to scratch his arm with a small pout. He had never been
given a compliment like that, it made his heart warm, and cheeks grow red.
“T-Thank you, for helping me and stuff, you didn’t have to. You’ll get in
trouble now.” Keith said, looking up at the boy as he rubbed the bit of hair
that had fallen in front of his eyes back behind his ear.
“That’s okay! I need a friend, I haven’t made one yet and
when I saw those boys annoying you, I thought you could be my friend.” The boy
still had that proud smile on his face as he held out his hand once more for
Keith to take. “You’re Keith, I know because we’re in the same class. My name
is Lance, it’s nice to meet you!”
A small smile formed on Keith’s face as he reached back out,
more confidentially this time to shake Lance’s hand. A friend? He had never had
one of those before. “Nice to meet you
too.” He chuckled, shaking Lance’s hand firmly as his smile grew impossibly wider.
Maybe his first day wasn’t turning out to be so bad after all.
The black-haired boy was
abruptly pulled out his memory at the harsh sound of his teacher’s voice. He
gasped quietly as he sat up from his table, flushed and shaken as he realised he had been laying down on his desk, completely
zoned out and not paying attention to the lesson.
“Care to explain why you’re
sleeping in my class young man?”
Keith fiddled with his fingers as he noticed the stern look on Mr Roberts face and
stuttered over his words. “I-I, uh, sorry.” he spoke softly, reaching up
to scratch the back of his head nervously. He hadn’t
meant to zone out and had certainly not meant to think of him.
“After all the lessons
you’ve missed recently, you’ve got a lot of catching up to do Keith. I suggest
you pay attention and do some work.” Keith blushed and looked down at the table
in embarrassment, not missing the numerous pairs of eyes that landed on him and
the snide chuckles deriving from the other students. “Sorry, won’t happen
again, I promise.” Keith said.
Mr Roberts huffed before turning to face the
whole class. “Alright everyone quiet down and carry on with your work, I’ll be
back shortly.” He spoke before swiftly walking out the classroom, leaving them
all to their own devices. Keith sighed in relief as he left and looked back
down at the books and papers covering his messy table.
Throughout his entire
education, English had always been Keith’s favourite subject, especially when
it came to writing. He loved how so many meaningful emotions could be explained
so profoundly through mere words. He loved the happiness, the sadness and anger
that he could feel from writing. He loved
reading stories, relating his personal experiences to
the fictional world and using that passion to write what’s on his own mind. Mostly, he loved having the space to spend time to write
and not be criticised, but encouraged. It was a place where Keith felt most
comfortable and safe, surrounded by literature of all kinds.
It had always been his
favourite class, which is exactly why he had chosen advanced English studies in
his last year of high school, but, it wasn’t turning out like he had planned. The
reason for that, was sat just a few desks over, smiling as he leaned back
against an unstable chair, surrounded by giggling girls and tall football
jocks. Keith glanced over at the crowd of people and felt his breath trap
against his throat as a pair of familiar blue eyes met his own.
Keith quickly looked down
at the table where his books laid untouched, along with his personal notepad
and reached up, twisting a long strand of black hair in his finger like he
always did when he got nervous. Why was
he even in this class? Keith thought. He
had always gone on about how much he despised English, so why would he choose
the damn subject? Especially for his last year! It made no sense to him and
it was honestly making it hard for him to concentrate and enjoy his favourite
Keith heard footsteps
approach his desk and bit his lip, clenching his fists under the table to stop
himself from lashing out straight away. This wouldn’t be the first time someone
had approached him during class – always when the teacher had left of course –
just to harass him. It wasn’t a rare occurrence, but it still managed to rile
Keith up every time without fail.
“The fuck you looking at us
for hey? Faggot?” Keith clenched his teeth at the word and looked up to find
Jason, the quarterback star of the football team, as well as the biggest dick
in school. He was a good quarterback and he knew it, always parading around the
school, acting like a king, like royalty, and degrading anyone who didn’t agree
with him, like Keith. “You’re always staring at us. What are you, some kind of
freak?” Jason smirked, reaching down and grabbing Keith’s notebook with a nasty
Keith felt his stomach drop
and stood up so rapidly his chair fell with a loud thud to the floor, making
everyone gasp in surprise. “Give that back. Right now, Jason, I’m not messing
around.” Keith spoke through gritted teeth. He could handle the snide comments,
the jokes and the shoving. He’d been dealing with that his whole life. But, if
anyone ever got a glimpse of what he wrote in that book, he knew everything he
had been working so hard to hide would be spread throughout the school within
minutes. That just couldn’t happen. He wouldn’t let it.
Keith wrote everything in that book. He wrote about
everything he had done and every emotion he felt and thought about, it was all written in that worn out book, down
to the very last detail. He started writing a short while ago, after reading an
article about how keeping a journal could help clear the mind and release
unwanted emotions. And it did. Keith had been writing every day, not sparing a
single emotion. He wrote about school and the jerks that harassed him. He wrote
about home and his dad, his mum. But most importantly, he wrote about him.
“Well, well, well,
someone’s a bit protective of their little diary, aren’t they?” Jason smirked
cockily, resting a hand on his hip as he held the book up for everyone to see.
“Would be an awful shame if someone were to accidentally read it out loud for
the class to hear.”
Keith felt his chest
tighten in anger and his clenched fists beginning to shake as Jason brought the
book down to open. Keith was ready to explode, ready to jump over the table and
tackle the dumb jock to the floor to pound his face in and take back what was
rightfully his. But, before he even had the chance to move, the diary was
roughly snatched from Jason’s sweaty hands. Keith looked up, ready to scream at
however intervened, and gasped slightly, his eyes widening and his fists slowly
unclenching when he saw who it is.
Keith watched as a furious
expression materialized on Lance’s usually tranquil face and noticed the boy
clench the book tightly by his side as he stepped up close to Jason, towering
over him slightly. “Jesus Jason, why do you
have to be such a dick all the time? Just leave Keith alone, he’s done
absolutely nothing. So, go back to your desk, sit the fuck down and just stay
out of people’s personal shit.” Lance yelled, his eyes narrowed and face tense
as Jason put his hands up in fake surrender and stalked away, undoubtedly
embarrassed by Lance’s actions.
Keith watched in amazement
as Jason slumped back down on the other side of the room and kept his head
lowered as the class immediately erupted in chatter over what just happened. He
looked back up at Lance who had that damn smile on his face as he held the
notebook out toward him. It had been twelve years, and Lance still had the same
small smile that made Keith’s stomach churn.
“I, uh, sorry, about Jason.
He’s an ass sometimes, which I’m sure you’re fully aware of,” Lance chuckled,
scratching his head as he held the notebook out further. “This is yours, you
should probably have it back and maybe keep it close, you know what people in
this school are like.” He said quietly, loud enough for only Keith to hear.
Although Lance still held
the same cute smile and laugh, he had changed considerably since that first
time they had met. He was tall now, towering over Keith unlike before. His hair
had grown longer and the shade had lightened slightly. The band aids and bruises
from fighting were gone, replaced with his naturally tan and smooth skin. His
features were more pronounce, like his muscular arms that pushed against his
shirt and his eyes, still blue and utterly breathtaking.
Keith roughly snatched the
book from Lance’s hands and shoved it in his bag so fast it was almost a blur.
He looked down at his table, trying to catch his breath as his cheeks flushed a
slight red. “I didn’t ask for your help Lance. I can handle myself.” Keith
looked up with a neutral expression and tried not to react as pain and hurt
seemed to blossom across Lance’s face at his words. “Just-just stay out of my
“Right…” The blue-eyed boy
whispered, chuckling sadly as he looked down at his feet. Keith paid no
attention as he grabbed his things and shoved passed Lance to race towards the
classroom door, not bothering to fix the fallen chair.
He ignored the giggles and
rude comments that were thrown his way as he exited the classroom and slumped
against the wall outside after slamming the door shut. He took a shaky breath
and closed his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek as he willed himself to
He and Lance had been best
friends, for years, from the first moment they had met – when Lance had saved
him from those bullies – up until a year or so ago. As Keith began walking down
the corridor, his bag dragging behind him, he began to wonder where everything
had gone wrong between the two of them. He wiped his eyes
as tears began to form and laughed miserably to himself as the answer hit him,
making his chest sear in pain. It was all his fault. He had been the one to
distance himself from Lance, push him away, stop conversing with him and ruin
their friendship after so many fulfilling years. He hadn’t wanted too, it was
the last thing he had wanted to do, but he had too, before Lance found out and
Keith got hurt. He hadn’t meant to, but…he fell in love. Utterly, and
completely in love with his best friend, and no matter how hard he tried, he
I'm new to publishing on Tapas and new to writing so go easy on me! I came up with the idea for this story and actually started plotting and roughly writing it a few years ago, but never planned on doing anything with it until I found it in my old computer files not too long ago!
I really hope you guys enjoy it :)
**Mature warning for this chapter is for homophobic language. There will be more throughout the story**
Keith hasn't had life easy, after been abandoned by his mother at a young age and stuck with a father who barely acknowledges his existence, he thought life was meaningless. Until, he met Lance.
For years the two boys were stuck together like glue, practically joined at the hip as they helped guide one another through school, family and life. Keith told Lance everything, entrusted him with his life, and eventually, with his heart.
As Keith grew older, so did his feelings for Lance. And the more they grew, the more he distanced himself, until the boys were strangers once more. Ashamed and terrified of the way he feels, Keith turns his back on Lance and begins to deal with his new-found emotions the only way he knows how. Through writing.