I was standing in my living room with my arms out stretched in front of the TV. My kind of sort of pretty sure boyfriend Noah was standing by my side, so of course, I had to do something that looked cool.

"Uh, Kari? Are you sure you should be doing your necromancy stuff when you're sick?"

I shrugged.

"Psh, itd's todally fide. I cad do dis wid my eyeds clodes."

I pushed up my sleeves, closed my eyes, focused my power, formed the spell in my mind and –

"ACHOOOO!"

The living room exploded with stinky smoke.

Between coughing, Noah's voice sounded a little panicked.

"Kari, was that supposed to happen?!"

Ummm, nope.

I was waving my hands around like crazy trying to clear some of the smog away.

"Uh, yeah, sure, it's totally fine."

"Not exactly my best summoning, but I guess, here I am," said a very deep and velvety voice that wasn't Noah, or me.

The smoke finally lifted to reveal a dude sporting a six pack under his too tight T shirt, perfect skin, cool blue eyes, and glossy dark red hair.

Oh and wings. He totally had black bat wings sprouting from his back.

Oh, f*ck, it's a demon. We totally got a demon infestation now.

Noah was flashing shocked bunny eyes at me and pointing to the hot guy standing in front of us.

"Who's that?!"

The demon guy answered for me.

"I'm Melmorgon, your demon boyfriend. I'm here to make all your fantasies come true."

I wrapped my arm around Noah's shoulders.

"Sorry, I already have a boyfriend."

Melmo . . whatever his name was, shot me a sneer.

"I wasn't talking to you, I've got standards. I was talking to the cutie next to you."

I gasped and wrapped my arms around Noah tighter.

"You can't have Noah, he's already mine!"

Totally ignoring me, the boyfriend stealing home wrecker demon shot Noah a flirty smile and curled his finger at Noah a few times.

Noah gave him back a stiff smile.

"I'm flattered, but I'm already in a relationship."

The boyfriend stealing demon narrowed his eyes, focusing in on poor defenseless Noah.

"A serious relationship?"

Noah seemed to take offense to that. Puffing up his little elf like cheeks, he huffed, wrapping both arms around my neck in nearly a strangle hold.

"Of course! It's super serious. The most serious of serious. We're like destined to be together for all of eternity, serious!"

Umm, I'm not sure we're that serious.

I scowled at the clearly evil demon.

"Besides, I'm the one that accidentally summoned you, shouldn't you be trying to woo me?"

The demon shrugged.

"He was standing next to you, close enough."

And then Jiro, my tall, muscly, tattooed, ex-mobster uncle came marching in through the front door. He had a canvas shopping bag looped over each beefy arm. Looks like he just came back from the farmer's market again. Uhg, he got a bunch of nasty vegetables, didn't he.

The super evil date seeking demon's eyes lit up.

"Ooo, I like the tough and brooding type!"

Before Jiro could wander into the kitchen and get cornered by the demon, and snagged his arm and held on tight.

"No! He's my uncle and you can't have him either!"

Totally ignoring me again, the uncle snatching demon called to Jiro.

"Hey handsome, what are you doing Saturday night?"

Panicked, I shook my uncle by his arm and hissed at him.

"Don't do it Uncle Jiro, he's a demon and is looking for dates to steal."

Jiro frowned.

"I don't date."

"Anyone."

"Ever."

The lecherous demon waggled his eyebrows at Jiro.

"Maybe you just haven't met the right date?"

Jiro's eyes instantly narrowed and his jaw got real tight.

Yeah, you don't say that sh*t to an Ace that can kill you in more ways than I could even imagine. And I got a real vivid imagination.

Jiro's voice had gone all growly.

"No, means no."

And that's when Angie, my tall, bouncy chested, blonde haired, green eyed, hot tempered, sorta friend came storming in the front door.

She took one look at the demon and came stumbling to a stop. A flirty smile wrapped around her face.

"Hey there, what's your name."

The sorta friend stealing demon flashed his own flirty smile, but before he could say anything I burst out.

"No, Angie's my sorta friend, and you can't have her either!"

Angie gave me a, "What the hell are you talking about" look and pointed at the demon.

"But he's hot and I have a thing for red heads."

The hot demon stroked his wavy crimson hair, his voice extra deep and velvety.

"It's all natural. Want to check?"

Angie was practically squealing with glee.

I was frantically waving my arms at her.

"He's a demon, you don't want to date a demon, right?"

Angie's flirty smile instantly fell off her face, she scrunched up her nose, and was shaking her head.

"Ew, no. yuck!"

I puffed up my flat chest in triumph, turning back to the loser demon.

"Ha! See, she doesn't want to date you either. Be gone vile beast!"

The demon stomped his designer shoed foot.

"Only because you told her I was a demon!"

I jabbed a finger at him and shot back.

"Relationships should begin with honesty."

The demon shorted.

"Are you kidding? The best relationships in history have all started with lies."

And that's when the twins, my tall, gangly, teen, gamer cousins came busting in the front door with Tina, my adorable six year old little sister in tow.

The cousin stealing demon squealed with excitement, bouncing on his toes and clapping.

"Twins! This place is like a dating buffet!"

The twins were still across the room, so I couldn't exactly grab them, but I protested anyway.

"No, they're my cousins! You can't have them either!"

I had just turned to warn the twins, when I heard a "Spritz, spritz" sound behind me.

Looking over my shoulder, I found Jiro with a spray bottle in hand, misting the demon with something that smelled like lemon.

The demon was wincing away from the spray.

"Puh puh, stop that! Stop that! Gah! Some of it got in my mouth!"

I pointed at the bottle.

"What is that stuff?"

Jiro pulled the trigger a few more times, blasting the now soggy demon in the ear.

"Kitchen cleaner."

I frowned.

"Uncle Jiro, he's a demon, not an oil stain."

With his super evil date stealing powers, the demon managed to swat the bottle away while Jiro was distracted. Finally free from Jiro's onslaught, that I'm not sure was actually doing anything, the demon launched a new flirty attack. This time aimed at the twins!

"Hey you two, I'm a Gemini, I like horror movies, and PVP's. What's your names?"

Before I could call a warning, the twins finally looked up from their phones, which they had been staring at through this whole thing.

Reno quirked up one eyebrow.

"Oh, um, sorry guy, you're not really our type."

Vegas shrugged.

"We're already in a stable relationship."

I took a big breath to start gloating, but the super evil of evilest evil demon was already squatting down to Tina's level.

Tina shyly waved a little craft project magic wand at the demon.

"Hello."

The demon had a sweet smile on his face, clearly as enchanted as everyone was when they first laid eyes on my super cute little sister.

"Hey there cutie, what's your na – "

He never got to finish that question, because Tina went "Boop!", took her little paper and glitter wand and tapped it to his forehead, and just like that, "Poof!" the demon disappeared in a puff of smelly smoke.

Tina giggled.

Everyone else's jaws were on the floor.

Tina dumped her lethal demon killing weapon on the couch and skipped off towards the bathroom.

"I'm gonna go wash my hannies. Snack time! Snack time!"

Very, very cautiously I inched towards the couch. With just my fingertips I picked up the powerful wand.

Huh, I didn't feel any magic.

I waved the wand around and tapped it into my palm a few times. It really did feel like it looked, just a drinking straw with a paper star taped to one end.

"He was a slutty demon, maybe it was the power of innocence that got him?"

Everyone vigorously nodded.

"Yeah, let's go with that."

Reno's voice was hushed as he elbowed his brother.

"We should probably stay on Tina's good side for the next twenty-four hours."

Vegas's nodding was a little hyper.

"Yeah, no joke."

Angie was biting her thumbnail.

"Uh, maybe Jiro should take that thing."

I nodded and handed the weapon over.

Gingerly accepting the demon slaying wand, Jiro inspected it with narrowed eyes.

"The Family has a place for things that need to be lost, this can go in the next shipment."

After that, Angie hustle off to make sure Tina wasn't making a huge mess of the bathroom, the twins skittered off to their gamer's cave, Noah retreated to our room to hide with his manga, and Jiro left to make arrangements for the weapon disposal.

Not really knowing what to do after our little adventure, I wandered over to where the super evil demon had swatted the bottle of kitchen cleaner.

Silly Jiro, what did he think he was going to do with this?

I picked up the bottle and read the front label.

"Super Clean Smash! Good on all hard surfaces, Kills 99.9% of Germs and Bacteria, Purifies Demons!"

Huh.

Author's Note: Don't forget to check out the main series Dead Body Girl, available now!