The small ledge in the wall dug into my back as my body was forced against it. The pain it caused was numbed by the teasing lips on my neck. Bright lights wavered in and out of focus as I blinked through the haze of alcohol. Were we in a private room? When did we leave the party?

Those lips trailed down my neck and parted. The feel of a tongue swiping across my skin caused my body to arch into him. His lips curved into a smile as I tilted my head back. My eyes slipped shut as his hands moved down my waist to curl his fingers around the hem of my dress.

The material was bunched up slowly, his fingers grazing my thighs as he tugged on it. Music pumped through the room, quieter than it had been before and I moaned softly, feeling his teeth nip at my skin.

The dress was pulled higher, rising over my hips where he paused to slide his hand along my stomach and down my thigh. My fingers wandered over his shoulders, tracing the path of his neck before delving into his hair. He groaned softly as I tugged on it and he pulled back.

His eyes met mine. The icy blueness of his gaze generated a strange falling sensation like I was being pulled into a lake of frozen thoughts. It was like all the myriad shades of blue swirled together to form a whirlpool of what I thought was desire.

My eyes fell to his lips, cherry red from kissing and framed by barely-there stubble. They curved into a one-sided smile, a smug smirk as my fingers tightened in his hair and I pulled his head closer to mine.

"Kiss me," the whisper was a plea, but it didn't sound like it. My voice was lower, slurred slightly from prior drinks and softer, coaxing him to do what I wanted.

That smug grin grew as he leant in. The hand that had gravitated to my thigh tightened its grip, his fingers denting into my skin. He pulled my leg up just as his lips brushed mine. Not innocently at all, but hot and demanding. His lips were warm against mine, just like the fingers that now danced up the inside of my thigh. I tightened my leg around his hip, urging his body to press closer to mine.

Our lips moved together, the kiss passionate as my hands dragged down from his hair to his chest. Fumbling, I began to unbutton his shirt, tugging it away from his skin as I did. His lips broke from mine as he laughed breathlessly, glancing down.

"Eager, huh?" he teased, his voice lower and rougher than it had been before. He gently pushed my hands from his shirt, directing them down to rest on his belt as he quickly undid his shirt and shrugged it away.

"You're the same," I answered, my eyes wandering over his body before lowering to where my fingers slipped from the belt to trace over his pants. I pressed slightly before trailing my hands towards the zipper.

He inhaled sharply, snatching my hands and pinning them above my head in one quick movement. "You do that, darling, and I won't stop."

As I stared into his eyes, feeling the line of his body pressed hard against mine, I found the remainder of the drinks influence slipping from my system. I rose up on my toes, leaning in and pressed my lips to his lightly. Parting my lips, I nipped at his lower lip, watching his eyes shut briefly from the action.

"Then don't," I murmured, hooking my leg back around his waist and using the movement to press my hips against his.

With another groan that had me shivering, he dropped my hands and grasped my thighs curling my other leg around his waist. His lips crushed back against mine and I wound my arms around his neck as my eyes slipped closed. I felt him move briefly before I was falling.

Pillows flopped onto my face before they were thrown away as he hovered over me, the muscles in his arms tense beneath the touch of my fingers and his lips were once again back on my neck. Warmth spread through me from where he kissed and licked. He traced a path down to my chest, pausing to pull up my dress. I squirmed beneath him to get it off. I gasped, my body stilling for a moment when I felt teeth on my thigh.

Throwing the dress away, I stared down at a head of dark brown hair, highlighted by some lighter strands, like the bark of a tree. The sensation of teeth on my inner thigh was replaced by a tongue. I moaned softly, my hips fidgeting on the bed as he placed his hands on them to still them.

"Don't move," he whispered, lifting his head to once again captivating me with his gaze. I could only nod as he smiled that same smug smile and dragged his nails down my hips to my thighs and parted my legs more. The smile changed, as those wild stained ice eyes dropped from mine to watch as his fingers curled into my underwear and pulled...

A pillow slapped against my face just then and I gasped pushing it away as the devil between my legs began to lower his head.

"Wake up!"

Another pillow assaulted me as the man before me wavered out of focus. I groaned, twisting onto my side on the bed. A small figure bashed into my stomach. Their light laugh echoed around my ears as they flopped onto me, their elbows digging into my ribs.

"Mommy!"

Blinking wearily, I frowned at the lack of light seeping through my cream curtains and arched my neck to see the clock. What I saw had a deep sigh slipping from my lips, of course they'd wake before my alarm.

"Wake up!" both voices exclaimed as a pillow smacked my head. It ruffled my hair, splattering some into my eyes and I groaned. With a sudden movement, I flipped onto my back and sat up causing the body on my side to topple into my lap. Reaching out, I snagged hold of the other and pulled them close.

Even with the dim light snaking in from the hallway, I could make out their dark brown hair, littered with varying shades of lighter brown and even some blonde. Their faces scrunched up as I began my counter attack, my fingers lightly tickling their sides.

Both boys curled up, laughter bouncing around the room as their pudgy cheeks stood out. I leant down pressing my lips first to Ryan's hair and then to Damon's.

"What are my two boys doing up before the sun?" I quizzed, scooting back to rest against the headboard. My dream slowly seeped from my mind.

"I had a nightmawe!" Ryan explained, holding up his hand like school taught him. He seemed oddly happy to have had one. I smiled slightly watching Damon smack his brother's hand out of the air.

"I had to pee," Damon added, closing his eyes as he smiled.

"And did you?" I wondered, recalling how the younger boy had a bad habit of knowing he had to go to the bathroom but being too lazy to actually go to the bathroom.

"No."

Oh please don't let there be another accident, I pinched the bridge of my nose and slipped from the bed. Picking up Damon, I tucked him into my arm as much as I could. They were growing quickly. Soon, I wouldn't be able to hold them so easily.

"What have I told you about using the potty?" I asked as I made my way towards the bathroom.

Ryan trotted behind us, waddling slightly as he rubbed his eyes. I paused and reached out as he veered towards the wall. His head banged against the palm of my hand, instead of the wall and I patted his hair as he peered up at me with a sleepy smile.

"Go back to bed sweetie."

"I want a dwink," He protested. My lips twitched, fighting the urge to smile at the cute way he couldn't yet fully grasp pronouncing his 'r'.

"Mommy I gotta go," Damon whined into my neck.

Well, you should have gone when you woke up. I hushed him, stroking his hair gently as I motioned for Ryan to go into their room. "I'll bring you in one. Promise."

He nodded and I watched him go into their room, half expecting the tired boy to smack into the door. When he didn't, I opened the door across from them and put Damon down. He waited next to me as I switched on the light before scuttling in.

I followed, leaving the door open and leant against the sink. My fist pressed into my closed eye as I scrubbed the sleep out of there while he went about his business. Switching on the tap, I bent over and splashed some water onto my face.

Four nights in a row now, I mused to myself as I grabbed a towel and patted my face dry. Sliding my hands through my hair, I winced as I tugged some of the knots loose and watched myself in the mirror. Curly hair was truly the bane of my life. The strands bounced to just above my shoulders, springing back into somewhat loose ringlets when tugged. When straightened my hair would reach to just above my breasts. To me, my hair resembled the multiple shades of freshly uncovered earth. The fluctuating colours of brown, some strands bleeding black while others had an auburn tint. Brushing my fingers through my fringe, I let the side bangs flop over my left eye.

They were a darker blue, my eyes that is, like the ocean before a storm Clarissa once said. Not like his. I doubt anything would ever compare to those cold eyes. Though my sons were close seconds.

A tug on my pyjama bottoms made me look down into eyes of the past. Of a single night. There was no other way to describe my son's eyes or even his, for that matter, than to call them icy. Like looking at an iceberg that had been stained with the lightest of blue dyes. Damon and Ryan took many traits from me. Their shaggy brown hair was like mine, curling slightly at the ends. Both had pudgy cheeks, dotted with small freckles and little button noses. But their eyes, those were their fathers, merely a shade darker than his, though, I couldn't recall him having any green flecks in his gaze like them. Although, that night I wasn't overly sober to be checking.

"Mommy, I finished," Damon declared but I merely watched him for a moment. His lower lip pursed out before he silently trudged back and pulled on the handle of the toilet to flush it.

"Thank you," I smiled kneeling to lift the boy up around the waist so he could wash his hands without having to use the little steps.

He laughed, the light giggling making my lips pull into a smile as I pressed them to his cheek. Once finished, I patted his behind and urged him into his room while I meandered towards the kitchen to get them water.

What we called home was a small two bedroom apartment, it wasn't exactly what I'd imagined raising children in, but since I was alone, it would suffice for now. Snagging their favourite plastic cups, I quickly filled them.

Back in the room, both boys were perched on their beds. Pausing in the door, I blinked at them for a moment taken aback by their similarities. I knew my boys weren't identical, Ryan's eyes a little wider and his nose slightly more pointed while Damon had a little birthmark at his temple, but in this lighting, they looked the same.

"Mommy?"

"Sorry, sweetie, here you go," I murmured sitting on Ryan's bed and handing him the cup.

His nose scrunched up as he shook his head. "No! I don't want batman!" he protested just as his brother squealed out, "Batman's mine!"

"Right, right, I'm sorry," I switched the cups instantly, handing spiderman to Ryan who took it happily while Damon slurped from his batman cup. No wonder he needs to pee so often, I huffed, watching him chug the class.

"Damon, sip it-."

"Done!" He shouted, holding the cup up for me to see. He turned to his older brother of five minutes and stuck out his tongue, "I win!"

Ryan snorted and placed his cup, still half full, on the bedside table separating their single beds and scampered back into bed. "You'll pee the bed. Again."

"I will not!"

"Ok, enough darlings," I soothed, intervening before a screaming match could begin. Shushing Damon before he could say something else, I took the cup from him and tucked him back into bed. "Go back to sleep, my dear."

"Ok Mommy," he pouted, eyes blinking up at me. I smiled and kissed his forehead before moving to do the same to Ryan.

"Love you, Mommy," Ryan mumbled, snuggling back into bed with his favourite teddy. It was a fat polar bed that Clarissa had stuffed into a baby Spiderman costume. She'd done the same for Damon, only with a Batman costume. A present for their fourth birthday and both boys adored them.

"I love you more!" Damn pointed out loudly, not wanting to be left out.

"No you don't," Ryan retorted, turning so his back faced his brother. Dismissing him with that comment. I grinned at the sight.

"I do too!"

"I'm bigger than you."

"So?!"

I moved towards the door as the two boys bickered on. Pausing in the doorway, I glanced in at the two, curled up in bed with their teddy's. Their voices growing softer as they argued over who loved me more. I wished I could freeze time. To remain here, with them, safe like this. Instead, I grabbed the door handle and spoke softly.

"I love you both, now sleep my dears."

The door shut behind me gently as I inhaled deeply before sighing and making my way back to my room. Damon's cup was placed by my bed as I flopped back onto the not-so-soft mattress and shut my eyes.

My past lover didn't come back to finish my dream, as I slipped back into sleep.