Looking out the window, I see the cars start to arrive. I know there’s a party going on a few doors down. How do I know? It’s my childhood best friend’s birthday, and her birthdays have been the coolest thing ever since that roller skating party when we were 7.

I guess we’re not best friends anymore though. I purposely put on something that wasn’t a sweatshirt, because my mom said I had to ‘look presentable’ if she decided she wanted me to go. Thing is, I know she doesn’t want me to go. You know the whole, ‘childhood best friends turn into cheerleader and nerd’ thing? Yeah. Totally happened to me. I knew it was happening since she started taking gymnastics at 8. Coincidentally, that was the same year I read all of Harry Potter. I’m less into books now than I was, but somewhere around 6th grade that’s what it really felt like.

I knew we were never gonna stay friends. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy her parties. She had one at an aquarium a while back, and I lost the entire group just hanging out with a giant fish. It had seemed to like me, swimming up to me wherever I went. Animals do that sometimes. I visited my… aunt? Great aunt? Something. She has goats, and her mule followed me around all day. Come to think of it, she was there too. Beth had said the mule was following her, so I split off from her just to prove her wrong. The moment I left her side, the mule was right behind me. She’d glared at me all day for that one.

Pretty sure that aunt is dead now. I check my phone for the millionth time, and sigh. Yeah, there’s a lot of messages from Alan, but that’s about it. I open them all, and close my phone again. Alan’s had a crush on me for the whole year. And I’m not just saying that. Friend of mine, Troy, had a friend who liked him. Troy then set out to make Alan like her friend, who’s name is Cathy. To quote the conversation she screenshotted to me (Troy has no sense of privacy) “Yeah I just don’t think I like Cathy, I like Anne.” Poor Cathy… she’s got awful taste, honestly. But so does Alan. They’d be nice together, if he didn’t like me.

I don’t like Alan. He’s cool and all, I’m just not… into people. Which is perfectly fine with me, I’ve been sucked into enough relationship drama as it is. My problem is that Alan hasn’t just come out and told me. I know, and I think he knows I know? But he’s never said anything. I guess he could still be holding onto hope. He knows that if he told me, I’d flat out tell him I don’t feel anything for him. I’m too blunt sometimes.

I check my phone again, but there’s nothing. There’s no way I’m going to this party, it started 5 minutes ago. And if it started 5 minutes ago, everyone’s already left their phones by the wayside. That’s how good Beth’s parties are. I’ve never seen a single one of her friends set their phones down before, except at Beth’s party. It’s hard for them to even set it down for games and cheer and stuff.

Bbzzzt

And there’s my phone. Checking quickly, it’s only my mother. She says she’ll be home in about an hour, and if I’m going to the party, to get my keys. I text back that I’m not going, and she spams me with crying emojis. I swear she only uses 3: Crying, dancing lady, and that one with the grimace. I can never tell what she means by that last one. Throwing my phone on the couch, I walk to the screen door. A quick scan of the porch reveals a few raindrops have started to fall. I grab the umbrella from the stand by the door, and after a moment's thought grab my phone off the couch.

Sliding the glass door open, I keep the screen door shut. I hear the cat run down the stairs, and I glare at her. “Don’t tear up the screen, cat.” I watch her slowly blink at me, and turn my back to her as I sit on the porch. It’s not awful outside, and I just need to be not inside anymore. I open the umbrella, resting the metal rod over my shoulder. The cat meows, and I ignore her.

The tree in my backyard is large for such a small backyard. It almost feels like it’s reaching towards the house, wanting to envelop it. We have to trim it every year, otherwise the branches would be through the windows. In an odd way, it reminds me of my grandmother. She’s always been like this tree- reaching towards us until she gets too close, and we cut her off. She doesn’t mean to be, but she’s incredibly passive aggressive. Neither my mom nor I can stand her for more than a week at a time.

Bbzzzt bzzzzt. Bz bzzzzzt.

My phone is ringing, and it’s my mom. I answer, confused as to why she’s calling me. She said she’d be home in an hour.

“Anne, Anne are you alright?” My mother asks, and I can tell she’s been crying.

“Yeah mom I’m fine. Are you okay?” My mother doesn’t cry often, and I really don’t like it when she does.

“Not really…” She trails off, and I almost say something before I hear her start to talk again. “Your grandma passed away…” I glance at the tree, almost at a loss for words.

“But… didn’t Grandpa have all the health problems? What happened?” I mean, I know she’s old but I have great grandparents in their 90’s.

“She’s old, Anne.” My mom says, reinforcing what I just thought. “I guess she was done with my dad…” Grandma’s been with Grandpa since they were 19. They’re really old fashioned in that she basically does whatever he tells her to. Or. Did. I guess. A thought occurs to me.

“Wait, she…?” I start to say, but my mom cuts me off.

“No I didn’t mean it like that. I guess her heart just… gave up. Not exactly sure what happened but… she’s gone now.” I don’t know how upset I expect my mom to be. Neither of us got along with Grandma all that much, but she is family.

“Well, come on home, and I guess we’ll talk about it when you get here. I love you mom.” I can almost hear her nodding on the other end of the line.

“Yeah. I’ll see you when I get home. Love you.” She hangs up, and I put my phone in my pocket. After a moment of quiet, of rain pattering periodically on my umbrella and my shoe, I get up. I like the outside, but I don’t like the quiet. I hold the cat back with my foot and grab a set of headphones off the counter. After shutting the screen door once again, I debate on shutting the glass door. But I’m never sure if it’s locked or not, so since I don’t have my keys I leave it open.

So my grandma is dead. That’s an odd thing. I wonder if I’m supposed to be upset by that? I guess I feel kinda bad for grandpa. We’re not gonna take care of him because he’s a jerk, so I guess we have to put him in a home? He’s not dying though, he just needs a lot of attention. High maintenance. I wonder if he’s sad. He probably is, they were married for a long time. I plug my headphones in, and scroll through my spotify. MCR seems appropriate.

Turn away…

Apparently I didn’t plug my headphones in correctly. Gerard Way’s voice floats out of my phone, and I push the headphones in closer and feel them click. Putting an earbud in my ear, I keep one out to hear the rain. If mom gets home and I’m still out here, I’ll hear her car come too. I twirl my umbrella and feel rain drops fall on my shoe. My phone buzzes again.

Hey Anne! It’s Alan again. I guess I should respond. Hey. I don’t really want to talk to anyone right now though. I’d turn my phone’s ringer off if I wasn’t still hoping I could go to Beth’s party… just a little bit. What’s up? Alan asks. I can’t deal with him right now. I just can’t. My grandma died bye. I know it’s kinda… rude. And feels kinda like vaguebooking. Mom calls people that post mysterious things on facebook vaguebookers. I’ve yet to find anyone else that does it in real life. She insists it’s a thing. I set my phone down on the porch next to me, glancing at it to make sure no raindrops are falling on it.

Scanning the sky, it doesn’t look like the rain will last for very long. I switch the song on my phone. I’m done with the emo songs for now. Rain, by Block B- BASTARZ. I slip my phone back into my pocket and stand. It doesn’t look like it’s bad enough for a real thunderstorm. I haven’t heard any thunder, so I think I’m okay. Opening the gate at the back of my yard, I step out onto the trail.

Bzzt

A chime from my phone reminds me that I haven’t sent out a streaks message yet. With my umbrella over one shoulder, I aim my phone over the other. I can see the tree from my backyard over it, as well as a slight glimpse of my neck and shoulder. It’s fairly pretty, so I send it out. I reach the place the trail and the road meet again. I’m not sure why I’m walking, but I don’t want to sit. I see another car arrive, another passenger and driver set take the nearest parking spot and get out of the car. They seem to be dressed like zombies. Maybe that party wouldn’t be so fun after all…

Picturing a bunch of zombies trying to do cheerleading moves incites a chuckle. But given the average conversation I’ve heard between two cheerleaders, at least they wouldn’t sound that much dumber for being mostly dead. Despite the laughter though, I still check to see if she’s seen my streak. She hasn’t, which I’m not surprised. Her house is already noisy.

Sliding my phone into my pocket, I hear the song change to one I really like. I twirl my umbrella, heedless of the water droplets landing here and there on my shoes and jeans. I don’t really dance, but if I did, I would be dancing in the rain. Get it? Mom would’ve laughed at that one. I guess from here on the road I’d know if she was coming. But I should still have a good 45 minutes.

I feel bad leaving my house, and I know I left the back door open, but I’ll be back really quick. Nobody’s gonna care about my stupid back door when Beth’s party is booming loud enough that the cops could get called any minute. I realize I’m standing in the middle of the street just as I hear a sudden boom. Lightning’s struck, and I’m standing in the middle of the road with an umbrella.

And because karma says don’t leave your back door open, I get struck by lightning.