I would take him to the end of the world, to the moon, wherever. I would go anywhere if it is with him, but who would notice me? I am a bully who just wants to fit in, I hide my fanaticism, my life and everything and let me see something that I really am not.

I heard, a while ago, that he was dating Rose. I did not care, I cared. That day, when I got home, I did not greet my mother with a kiss on the cheek as I always do, nor did I help my father to cook as usual, nor did I play with my brother at the console as I always do and I did not play with my sister with dolls and cars as I always do. That day I locked myself in my room, I did not talked to anyone and I only read. I am constantly wondering if someone would be able to love me. That day I just repeated to myself "How is Saw going to want someone like me". I was trying to impress him in some way, but nothing. I reread my favorite book sobbing, I was lucky my room was soundproof. Just the cliché of the hot bad guy who plays rugby and boxeo, that's the me everyone knows. 

A reader, fan of The lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars and every nerd shit. God, I do really like him. 

Shortly after, in class, I sat on a bench in the courtyard of the building away from everything. I put my hands in my eyes, I noticed my eyes dampened. I wished that everything would start again, to have been myself from the beginning and not to have fallen in love with Sawyer.