If only someone had told me, how desperate death’s scent reeks. Maybe I could have warned the others then, that the danger was too severe. I wish I could blame myself, I’d love to claim there was this ominous feeling that forbade disaster, and we had simply ignored it. That way, at least there ever was a chance for things to turn out differently. But there never was, was there?
We all thought it would be the same as always, and all the perimeters assured us in that assumption. We weren’t arrogant. Nor, were we foolish or rash. So, why? Why was the only thing that waited for us, inevitable death? Are we nothing more than fodder for the predators lurking to get us? Is that the reason humans are born?! If only I could say we made the wrong decision. If only we could have known better.
My gaze met the lifeless bodies laid out before me. The headless corpses that were my living, breathing friends just a moment ago. I clenched my fists, trying to contain the anger. If only I wasn’t so god-damn useless.
That’s the funny thing about decisions. In the end, you have to make them without any way of knowing where they will lead you to. But nonetheless, whether you could have known or not, once you make decisions you have to face the consequences. So, who was I to curse for the place I found myself in? I really wished I knew whom to scream at, whom to hate. Instead, I found myself reaching out to a god that doesn’t answer, waiting for a miracle that would never occur.
I threw back my head as if trying to face heaven. Not that heaven was anywhere near us. All I could see was the stone ceiling of the cave. A dark, jagged surface that might as well have been another jaw.
“Did you enjoy the show, god?” I screamed towards the heavens to let out the agony. My whole body shook, tears dwelling up as my fist shook more violently. I wanted to scream so much more, but no more sound wanted to escape my lips. All I could do, was cursing him further within my thoughts.
I wonder, god, can you hear me? Do you like to watch your creations struggle while you wondered who of them would prevail in the face of all this madness? Did you smile while Greg's shield shattered to tiny pieces? Did you laugh as Pam's Fireballs extinguished? Were you thrilled as Charles’ sword remained stuck in the enemy, rendering it useless? Did you hold your breath in anticipation when the monsters chopped their heads off?
I swear I could feel his gaze on me. Waiting for my life to be lost like all the others before me.
If only I could have been the first to die. Standing in a puddle of my companions’ blood my body was shaking so much, that it refused to move another inch. I smelled the monster’s putrid breath. It was the scent of utter despair that accompanied death. My friend's blood dripped off its teeth as it leaned towards me. Its eyes were full of hunger and a satisfaction that ran so deep that one gaze filled me with such terror that I could taste bitter bile on my tongue. I wished I could throw up at this moment. At least that way, I could soothe myself by spoiling its meal.
Even if I could get another grip upon my staff on the ground, it was too late. As a healer, I was unable to accomplish much in a fight against the monsters. The only damage spells I knew were weaker than Pam’s Fireballs, and even those hadn’t been able to do as much as scorch this beast’s skin. If only I could have healed at least one of them. We may have had a chance if we started to run together.
Do you want to save your friends?
A somber voice resonated through my thoughts and made me wince. It reached so deep in my conscience that ignoring it was impossible. I couldn’t believe it.
After all the unanswered prayers for all these years, during all the terrible ordeals that we had to endure, you finally decided to answer me? In any other situation, I wouldn’t have known what to make of a foreign voice that resounded within my mind. But after I just cursed the creator, it somehow seemed to make sense.
Just as I am about to die, I can finally hear your god-damned voice? Are you mocking me, god? Is that your final enjoyment for the last episode of my life?
I am not god.
I must have been imaging things, right? Or was I suddenly speaking to the devil instead? The beast's claw painfully dug into my chest and pressed me to the ground. Did it even matter at this point? Who cared if I’d gone mad? My life would be snuffed out in a few seconds. There was no other outcome than madness awaiting me within the fear that had taken a hold of every thought in my head.
I’ll ask you one more time. Do you wish to save your friends?
Of course, I want to save my friends! What was the matter with this cursed question? Who in their sound mind would say no to that? If only there was a way to save them, I would do so right away. But there wasn’t. The dead cannot be brought back. Was this a new way to torture humanity? To give us false hope and rip it apart? A devil’s tongue indeed.
I am not the devil, either. But I don’t care what you might call me. Your consent was all I needed, pitiful thing. I shall grant your tiny, insignificant wish.
What? My wish shall be granted? There was no way that was even possible. But I didn’t even get another chance to think it through. A sharp sting ran through my body. I gasped for air, as heat began to entrap me. I couldn’t comprehend what was going on. This feeling was not like anything I’d ever experienced before. What was happening to me?
Was this more than the imagination of a dying man? There was no way anything actually answered my thoughts or prayer, was there? Was it foolish to have another glimmer of hope? I wished with all my heart that this strange phenomenon would be real, that the promise that my friends would be saved could become reality.
Please, I couldn’t care less if you are god, a devil or whatever in between — save them! None of them deserved to die, and I couldn’t save them. So, please, save them.
If only I’d known that right at this moment, a part of a foreign soul had merged with my own. My thoughts no longer were mine alone, nor did my future belong to me.
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