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Royal Punch BOOK 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Oct 10, 2026

“FIND THE PRINCESS! SHE CAN’T BE ALLOWED TO ESCAPE!” The orc general yelled at his soldiers as they searched the castle.

Nora gulped as she heard the door to her bedroom getting opened. Her grip around the human princess’ mouth got a little firmer as she heard the footsteps of orcs entering the room. The clank of round shields and swords made her shiver. Nora cursed herself for having gone to her room to fetch a weapon before trying to leave the castle. She felt inadequate.

The invasion of the capital city of kingdom Nesredna had been difficult since humans had the advantage of using magic. But after the death of Queen Minerva the Undaunted eight years ago, The Orcs had begun to plan their invasion. It was an alliance with the dwarves that had made the attack a success.

This is ridiculous. Nora thought for herself. I’m a secretary, a damn bookworm! Not a soldier or... Something!

Nora and Dimicatio were hiding behind a bookshelf in the Noras’ bedroom. It was one of those times where it was an advantage to be short and skinny. Nora gulped as she heard the orcs thrash the room. While holding one hand over Dimicatio’s mouth, she had a small handheld crossbow in the other, praying that she did not have to use it.

“There’s no one in here!” One of the orcs barked. “LET’S MOVE!“

“But commander, we haven’t search the whole-”

“The human child could be escorted out of the castle as we speak! We have no time to lose!””

Nora could hear the orcs leave the room. She made a sigh of relief and thanked the holy Nameless Architects that orcs were as impatient as they were rumored to be. “Alright, get your arms around my neck.” Nora whispered to the human princess.

Dimicatio locked her arms around Nora’s neck as the kneeling servant placed her crossbow in her holster. Nora stood up, now carrying the little girl. She once again thanked a higher power for her natural-born light but strong feet that barely made a sound as she ran.

“I want my dad.“ Dimicatio whimpered.

“So do I, but we will go get him later.“ That was one big fat lie. Nora had seen the orc soldiers capture king Pater. Her only relief was that she was sure that they had no intention of killing him. If so, they would have murdered him on the spot. The orcs had most likely thrown him in the dungeon so he could be used as an advantage against the humans. The one they really needed to kill was princess Dimicatio since she was the real threat to their plans.

Nora passed a broken window and heard that the battle outside was still raging. Then, she heard a sound that upset her even more; The little princess was about to cry.

“Be quiet.“ Nora hissed. “They will hear you.“

Dimicatio started to sob.

“I mean it, quit it.“ Nora didn’t like to sound so harsh, but she had no choice. “Or I will… I will leave you right here and run for it.“

The princess ceased crying. Nora was relieved, but felt rotten for scaring a kid like that. After all, this mess wasn’t her fault.

“HEY!!!” One of the orc soldiers had spotted them as Nora was running toward the nearest window. “I FOUND THE- AAARGH!!! MY FOOT!”

“Dangit!” Nora threw her crossbow at the stone-floor. Her aim had been off because she was carrying a kid on her back. She gathered her courage and lept through the window, hoping to land in the moat around the castle.

***

Ivan the Minotaur hammered on the piece of metal that was about to become a horseshoe. He then used a chisel for the finer details. Once he was satisfied with his work, he stuck the new shoe in a bucket of water to cool it down. “Alright, let us shoe you right away.“ The bull-man with a broken horn left his workshop to go to his customer, a centaur who was passing through the village of Jadedale.

“Thanks, you are a lifesaver.“ The young centaur placed his foot at a chopping block and allowed the village’s blacksmith to do his work. Looking at him, the centaur realized there was something familiar about him.

“Hey, did you say your name was Ivan?“ The horse guy asked.

“Yup.“ Ivan hammered the third nail into the shoe.

The centaur looked at the broken horn. It had to be him. “You know, I’m sort of a sports fan.”

Ivan’s ears wiggled. “Don’t care much for sports.“

“I think I know who you are.“

Ivan took a glance at the young centaur. Then he went back to focus on the shoe. “I’m the village blacksmith.”

“I think you used to be a bigshot.“

“You would be wrong.“ Ivan took the fifth nail up and prepared it.

“Na, I know for sure. You used to be famous. Aren’t you Ivan the OUCH!“

“Oops. I missed.“ Ivan said with a stern look on his face. “I hope I didn’t hurt your knee too much.“

“Ah, no. No, not at all.“ The centaur decided to shut up and let the man finish his job.

***

Ivan peeled his boiled griffin egg and took a slice of bread. He sat at his kitchen table and looked out at the window. It was raining that night. Drizzling to be specific. Listening to the sound of water drops hitting his window had a calming and meditative effect on him. It almost made him sleepy.

The peace was broken by a knock at the door. The large bull of a man was grateful no one was there to see him startle, he was not used to visitors after eating dinner.

“I’m coming, I’M COMING!” Ivan cleaned his mouth and walked toward the door. The knocking got more intense. “Take it easy! I’m here already.“ He opened the door and looked at the short person. “Look, I’m not doing any jobs right now. Show up tomorrow and-“

“Hello, Ivan.“

Ivan recognized the voice, but wasn’t sure from where he knew this person.

He took a closer look after said person had removed her hood from her head.

First thing he noticed was that this person was drenched despite it not raining that much.

Then, he studied the person at his door properly. She was about five feet tall and… well, she was not plain-looking, but she was nowhere near as beautiful as others who shared her species.

If it wasn’t for her pointy ears, you couldn’t tell that she was an elf at all. Especially since most elves did not wear glasses.

“Nora? Is that you?“ Ivan hadn’t seen the king’s personal secretary in years.

“Yeah. Can we come in?“

Ivan stepped aside and allowed the short elf to enter his home. Then he noticed that a short little creature covered in a cloak was right behind her. It was a little human child.

“Wait, is that-“

“Yes, it’s Dimicatio.” Nora whispered as she interrupted Ivan. “Not so loud, someone could hear you.“

Ivan waved a hand at the fireplace. The elf and the princess sat on two stools near the flames while Ivan went to his bedroom and fetched some blankets for his guests so they could get dry.

“Would you like some tea?“ Ivan held a pot he had just recently made as well as two empty cups.

“Yes please. The child is freezing.“

Ivan leaned up at the wall next to the fireplace while his guests were sipping to their tea.

“It was the orcs.“ Nora answered Ivan’s question before he had a chance to ask. “Have you heard about the invasion?“

“Is it true? I heard about the attack on the capital city. What happened?“

“They got Pat, that’s what happened.“ Nora finished her cup of tea. “They stormed the castle and yelled about throwing him in the dungeon or something like that. I managed to escape, more luck than anything.“

Ivan blinked. “They got Pat?!“

“Yes, they overpowered the city’s forces, then straight to the castle and went for the king first. With him as hostage, the orcs had the upper-hand.”

Ivan had to sit down. The best friend he ever had could very well be dead by now.

“They are not gonna kill him.“ Nora said as if she could read the bull-man’s mind. “At least not now. He is not really a threat to them since he is about as magical as a kitten and he has greater value as their prisoner.“

Ivan made a sigh of relief. Then he looked at the little blond girl with the green eyes and pink-ish skin with freckles. Her hair was collected in two pigtails. Her blue dress that was probably as expensive as his house was wet and had holes in it. She was very quiet as she studied her own feet thoroughly. He hadn’t seen this human since she was a baby. If you ignored the freckles then she looked like a miniature version of Minerva.

“Ivan…“ Nora looked at Ivan with a stern face. “Would you… mind if I went upstairs for a minute?“

“Ah, sure?“ Ivan pointed at the stairs.

Nora left Ivan alone with the little princess. The minotaur felt like he had to say something to the little human. He just wasn’t sure what he should say.

“Nora told me that you are my godfather.“ Ivan got startled as the kid spoke and looked at him directly with her big, sad green eyes. “That you are my dad’s friend.“

“Well… yeah.“ Ivan coughed nervously, wondering when Nora would come down again. “Your dad and I used to be close.”

The human girl looked up at the big minotaur’s damaged horn. “My dad mentioned you plenty of times. He was always disappointed when you didn’t accept his invitations to come visit us.”

Ivan blushed. “He… ah, well, he… I’m a busy-“

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!”

Ivan stood up right away as he heard the scream and grabbed the sledgehammer next to the fireplace. The princess screamed as she laid down on the floor and held her hands on her head. Ivan ran toward the stairs with a firm grip on his weapon… and then saw Nora calmly walk down from the stairs. She looked absolutely terrified.

“I’m sorry.“ she said. “I just calmed down enough to realize how freaked out I am by all of this bullshit!“ She took a deep breath as she now stood in front of Ivan. And then she began to cry.

Ivan placed a hand on Nora’s shoulder. “You look like someone who needs a stiff drink.”

“Ivan, I don’t drink, I… Know what, SCREW IT! A drink would very much be appreciated right now.”

Ivan went to the kitchen and poured a cup of wine up for his visitor that Nora received moments later. She gulped it down gratefully and she calmed down while her cheeks turned red. She sighed as she dried her eyes and then looked at the ox-man. “I did not sign up for this shit, you know? And unfortunately for you, I have to ask you a favor on the king’s behalf. And you are not gonna like it.“

Ivan had a terrible suspicion about why Nora had come to his humble home. “Nora, you are not seriously suggesting-”

“You are the girl’s godfather.“ Nora interrupted him just as he was about to open his mouth to protest. The bull gave her an annoyed glare. “Sorry, sorry, I have a bad habit of answering questions before they are asked when I’m nervous… But Pat made me swear that I would bring her to you.“

“Why me? Wouldn’t it be better if YOU looked after the girl? She knows you, right?“

“I know this is anything but desirable.“ Nora took off her glasses and nudged her eyes. “But I can’t look after her. The orcs know to look after a short female creature with pointy ears accompanied by a human child with freckles. And besides, you know that I’m terrible with kids.”

Ivan recalled having Nora as his babysitter when he was nine. And she was anything but exemplary.

Nora put on her glasses again. “I have to go into hiding and figure out… I don’t know, something. And honestly, I don’t think they would look after the future queen at the home of a washed-up has-been athlete. No offense.“

“None taken.“ Ivan said with a scowl.

“I no longer have a home to offer her after the castle got conquered. And I can absolutely not look for sanctuary from my own kind because..." She shrugged. "Well, elves are dicks. It has to be you. Also…“ Nora looked at Ivan with begging eyes as she sighed. “Please? Pretty, pretty please?“

Ivan looked at the elf. Then, he turned his head and looked at the princess who stood by the doorframe to the kitchen.

***

Ivan opened the door to his guest room. Inside was a bed and there was a light crystal on the ceiling that illuminated the small room after he clapped twice.

“It’s not much…“ Ivan looked down at the little princess. She was wearing some of his old kid clothes he luckily found at the attic he had not cleaned out yet. They were too big for her and therefore made the poor girl look even smaller. “I know you are probably used to something else-“

“It’s fine.“ The princess said with a monotone voice.

“Alright, well… Uh, Dimicatio.“

“You can call me Dimi, sir.“

Ivan stopped himself from snorting. No one had ever called him sir for a long time. “Alright… Dimi. I’m sleeping in the room at the other end. If you need anything, then… just wake me up. Clap twice to turn off the light.” The minotaur gulped. “Do you need… something?”

“No thank you, sir.“

“You don’t have to call me sir. Ivan is fine.“ Ivan said as he scratched the back of his head. Dimi looked at him as if she expected something. “So… I will go to bed. Sleep well.“

Dimi closed the door to her room and went to bed. She clapped twice to turn off the light. She stared at the ceiling as she desperately wanted to cry.

But she did not dare to.

jowaezi
jowaezi

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Royal Punch BOOK 1
Royal Punch BOOK 1

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Dimicatio is the ten-year-old human princess who must flee to the countryside after the orcs have succeeded in conquering her kingdom. But there is a way for her to get the crown that is rightfully hers:
Trial by combat.
"Royal Punch" follows the adventures of Dimi and her godfather Ivan the Minotaur as Dimi trains to become a boxer, grows up working in Ivan's forge and experience the ups and downs of "princess puberty."
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12 episodes

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

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