Ok so lets get this over with. The name is Zach but people who know the real me calls me Quinn, yes like Harley Quinn. At the moment i am living in Norfolk Virginia, and am trying to unpack boxes but of course I am failing miserably. I hate unpacking, I rather pack , but whatever, no more Demetri to help me, or distract me so I actually get something done.

Oh right Demetri was my boyfriend, im gay surprise bitches. We broke up because shit got too real for my liking, it got too scary, yes i am a pussy that ran away. Well technically we didn't break up. Ok so let's go back, to the beginning.

I worked at a rehabilitation center as a doctor, and a dabbling surgeon, yeah i had things going good for me. One night as i was doing my rounds one of my patients on the ground floor called for me saying their stitches broke. I thought to my self fuck my life, because the damn surgeon that put them in went home two hour ago. I hated the night shift, crap. When i went into the room with all my tools needed, the patient was fine, but terrified. As I looked behind me there were two huge guys I hadn't noticed. Then next to them in a chair was a guy hunched over with blood soaking his clothes.

Great, they want a patch up, of course this had to happen in the ghetto ass Bronx. This was the only rehab center that was independent from the hospital, we were allowed to perform surgeries and even deliver babies. It makes sense why they are here.

"We need you to patch up our boss here, NOW!"

"W-why not go to a hospital."

"Dont play dumb you know why."

SHIT. One of the ogres pushed me closer and the guy looked up. That was the first time I laid eyes on Demetri, after that my life went to shit. I convinced them to let me take him to the operating room, and they shoved me the whole way, assholes. When we got there , one of the stayed inside while the other stayed outside the door.I cut his shirt open , to find a bullet in his shoulder. He didn't want me to put him to sleep so i tried to numb the area as much as possible. I warmed him it was gonna hurt like hell but he didnt care, better than me i would have passed the fuck out. i pulled my blond hair back into a tight bun, washed my hands and got to work.When i went to retrieve the bullet, he didn't even flinch or make a sound, he just watched me the entire time, not my hand but just me. When it came time to put in stitches he looked like he didn't feel a thing. I patched it up, tossed all the used gauze away and cleaned up and was ready to go home. My shift was over in twenty minutes. I gave him painkillers and he looked good as well except he was shirtless.

He nodded to his pet at the door and he grabbed me by the arm. Well i lived a good enough life, i hope my sister will take good care of Milam. BTW Milam is my brown and black Yorkie.

Demetri got up, snapped his fingers and his other guy came in. I guess he is going to punch me. Oaf number two grabbed my other arm and held me up, I was nearly on my tippy toes.

"Listen lady , thanks for the patch up and all but there is something more i need from you."

"Ok whatever, hold the fuck up, first of all, im not a lady, if you havnt noticed no tits here, second, i will keep my mouth shut, this is the Bronx i know how it goes."

"Well all the better, it's less work for me. What's your name?"

"As if im telling you, i happen to like my life, and i hope to never see your face again stranger, so can i go home now, i just pulled a double and a warm bath and tai food is calling my name."

"I'm going to ask again, what is your name, or should i pull it from the computers in here that also might have your home address."

"Ok ok, slow your roll, my name is Zachery."

"Good to know i will be seeing you soon."

"If you're going to kill me, why not do it now, and get it over with?"

"I didn't say I was going to kill you, just check in."

"Great, lucky me."

"Also if you don't like being mistaken for a woman, cut your hair and maybe go to the gym."

"No thanks, i like my body just the way it is."

"Ok you do you , just saying it's not a lady killer."

"Who says i want to kill the ladies."

He widened his eyes at me. Oh well I'm used to that reaction. He nodded to his goons and then let me go. I rubbed my arms and stretched, damn it's late. He was still looking at me , but he looked more confused than surprised.

"What never met a gay dude before?"

"Not one that i mistaken for a woman."

"Good we learn something new everyday, don't assume people's genders, it's just plain rude."

I grabbed my bag from beside the door and was about to leave when a hand closed it.

"Sorry but we have to leave first."

"Ok whatever, make it quick."

He chuckled and went out the door, I waited ten minutes then I went home. I ate , took a bath and hit the hay. I can't believe i have to go back to work in a few hours, life is so unfair. In the morning I felt like crap, actually for the rest of that week I felt like rap. It was about two weeks later when I came home from a night shift there he was sitting on my bed.

"Hey Zach, can i call you Zach?"

"Yeah, what are you doing here."

"I said I would check in, didn't i?"

"Yes you did, what do you need."

"Check on the wound."

He took his shirt off and patted next to him. I walked over cautiously and sat on the bed, I never noticed how muscular he was before. I checked the stitches and there was no sign of infection, they seemed to be healing nicely.

"Your fine , the door is that way, now get off my bed I want to sleep.”

When I kicked off my shoes and crawled farther into bed he was still sitting there, he was looking at me suspiciously. I rolled my eyes, hopped off the bed and grabbed my pajamas.

"Really, ice cream Pjs?"

"Oh shut up , my niece got them for me and she would cry if I didn't wear them. Stop looking at me like that if you dont believe im a dude just say so damn it."

"Fine, I still think you're a chick."

"Fuck you."

I went into the bathroom, changed and came back out.

"Fine you dont believe im a guy here."

I lifted my shirt, and pulled my pants so he could see my briefs."

"Happy now, flat chest, and i'm wearing briefs."

I crawled back into bed and kicked him in the side, i want him off my bed, god knows where he has been.

"Do you know who i am? Don't kick me."

"Dont sit on someones bed without permission, its rude, plus i dont give a fuck who you are i gave you the chance to kill me and you didnt take it."

"Don't make me regret it."

I rolled my eyes and got under my covers. I am too tired for this shit. He actually came closer to me, what now? He grabbed a fist full of my hair and landed a kiss on me.

"What the fuck??!!"

"You have a mouth on you but i like it, see you next week, we are going out."

That was when he hooked me, I was his little toy. We went on dates, he took me to Paris, and when we were at the Eiffel tower, he told me exactly who he was. After that he told me to start calling him Mr.J, and he started calling me Quinn. I knew what he did, and in my free time I turned into his fixer upper, whenever someone got hurt I turned into the gang's surgeon. He convinced me to quit my job and work for him full time, i go a lot of dough, i mean a lot, lots of guys got shot, or did stupid shit when they were drunk. I loved him, I think I still might.

I was his doll, and I liked it that way. There was one point i lost myself, he dyed my hair pink got me drunk and pierced my ears while i was asleep. Oh and here is one i will forever remember, when it was our three year anniversary and i downed at least two bottles of tequila, he gave me a tattoo, guess what it said ' Property of Mr.J' He even signed his signature.

I forgave him for all of it, I still have that tattoo on the back of my neck, for all to see. But not anymore, i don't pull my hair back anymore, i grew it out, so my neck is always hidden. Unfortunately i have come to like my pink hair and i dont have the heart to change it. Now in Virginia's rehab center, yes another rehab center. This time patients have to go to an actual hospital,I made sure of that. My life is quiet and calm, and I am seven hours and change away from NYC, and this bitch aint never going back, if I do I'll fall right back into the palm of his hand.

I left because he wanted me to start doing more than patch jobs one night he brought in a guy from a separate cartel. He got the info out of him then handed him over to me. Mr.J, I mean Demetri handed me a personalized gun, made just for me, with Quinn edged into it. I was so happy, but so scared. He stood behind me that night held up my hand, and had me pull the trigger, i killed a wounded man, he was the first man, but with every kill he was there with me , loving me more. One night we were supposed to meet up at this really nice Italian restaurant, I don't remember where and I got there early. He reserved a booth and i was sitting there waiting on him. Some dude sat down across from me in a fancy business suite, with his fake Rolex he was constantly checking.

"Excuse me are you all alone tonight?"

"No move it along, I'm just waiting for my date."

"Maybe we can keep each other company."

"I dont think so."

"Oh come on , i'm a good conversationalist, and i am looking for some company."

"No thanks buddy, i am waiting for my date."

"Well if it doesn't go well here is my card, call me an we can get to know each other."

When I finally looked up from my phone, Demetri was standing behind the guy with his arms crossed and his knuckles white, this fool was sliding his card over to me and didn't even realize he was there. When I cleared my throat he looked behind him. Demetri was a generally intimidating guy, from the tattoos, his height, and his build, not to mention his mean green eyes that seemed to glow in contrast to his slicked back jet black hair. I should have known that the poor guy was doomed at that point. The business man chuckled nervously and quickly got up from the private booth. When Demetri sat down I realized the card was gone, I thought the business guy took it back but he didn't, oh god he didn't, i later found out that Demetri took it. We had a nice dinner and even stayed in the desert, we went back to our place and had some ...fun. That's right our place, we moved in together a while back and it was heaven , damn it i miss that place. About a week later i was doing my job when the business guy brought it all busted up, he looked like shit, i could barely recognize him.It was his fake Rolex that helped. Demetri told me to take care of him.

At this point I knew what he meant. I didnt want to do it i knew the guy, well kind of, i wondered what he did to piss off the cartel this fucking much. When I asked Demetri what happened he gave me a cold look, he never looked at me that way before. Even the guards in the room were shocked. I remember his exact words.

"Shoot him or i'll put him down myself, and you know how i like to get things done, nice and easy."

Demetri liked a good mess, he liked when getting his information was hard. I took my gun out of the locked draw in the back of the room, pointed it at the poor guys head and pulled the trigger. For the first time I regretted doing that, there was no reward waiting. Demetri was pissed even before I asked what the guy did.

"Beat it boys, take the body with you, me and Quinn are going to have a little chat."

The guards hesitated but left one grabbing the guys hands the other the feet and bragging him out. Demetri sat in the tattoo /operating chair and cleared his throat. He signaled me to come closer and I did, he cupped my cheek with both hands and looked deep into my eyes.

"You belong to me, Quinn, remember that, i don't want to have to remind you."

He moved one of his hands and placed two of his fingers on my lips.

"This is mine."

He moved his hands and trailed it to the middle of my chest.

"This is mine."

Lifted his hand pulled me closer and cupped my crotch, I flinched and moved away but he pulled me back in.

"This is mine too."

This time he moved both of his hands and grabbed my ass and squeezed painfully.

"This is mine as well and i don't intend on letting go."

He lifted me up and set me on his lap, i was normally comfortable but this time i felt like i was going to fall.He slapped me on the back of my neck where the tattoo was.

"Remember this the next time you decide to get chatty with another man."

He took me off of his lap and was about to leave when I told him to wait, me and my big mouth. He was right in the beginning, I did have a mouth on me.

"I didn't even look at him you know , the only thing I saw was his fake Rolex when he slid his card towards me, I never even looked up from my phone, I told him to beat it and that I wasn't interested multiple times. I told him i was waiting for my date."

"It doesn't matter if you still stayed."

"What did you want me to do?"

"Get up and go tell security he was bothering you!!!!"

I was shaking. He had never yelled at me before, I never thought he would. He walked out of the door and slammed it in my face. That night I went home before him and began packing a few things in a suitcase in case shit hits the fan. I had just shoved it under the bed when he came home and just began kissing me. For a moment i thought he was bipolar but when he finally pulled away and knocked me out, my mind was made up.I had to go, shit escalated real quick. I woke up in the same position on the floor, he was in his underwear sleeping on the bed, our bed. I must say he gives one hell of a bitch slap. My lip was busted and I had a black eye. I quietly slid the suitcase out from under the bed, called my sister to quickly come pick up Milam after i was gone.As i was about to walk out the door i went back in the room, looked at him one last time, took out my gun and rested it on the nightstand i didn't want to carry any part of that life with me. I didn't bother writing a note because the thought of it brought tears to my eyes. I hopped on the first bus to Virginia, stayed at my crazy aunt Nina's until I found a place of my own.

Now here we are in the present. I miss the action though.That cartel became my family, half of the guards would come to me on their lunch break and we would laugh our asses off, now i avoid people .After being isolated from people for years i don't know how to act anymore. One of my coworkers, whose name is Kirk, tries to make small talk but every-time I look up at him, I see a bullet sized hole in his head, just like that lonely businessman.

Oh i'm sorry did you think this was going to be a story of my tough past and my recovery.Sorry to burst your bubble it's not so hold on to you panties and your boxers, my life is a living hell and this train of misery isn't stopping any time soon so folks get real comfortable. I have a feeling Mr. J isn't done with me. DAMN IT I mean Demetri. I can't believe i still call him Mr. J, i thought i was past that. He isnt my boss he is a psycho that pimp slapped me, or punched, point blank i felt like a prostitute who got disciplined. Or did he make me his bitch, honestly i don't even know.