It was interesting how different she seem to be from how she usually socialized within our circle. Or perhaps it was my eyes that created a filter that saw her in different light.

The girl sitting before me silently brought spoon after spoon of vegetables soup into her small lips.

Sure, one could just say those were her etiquette while eating. Cause it’s rude to talk while you had food in your mouth.

However, her silence and her facial expression suggested indifference. That was one of the most unexpected thing I thought I would received from her.

The girl before me was a classmate of mine known for her jovial laughter. She would hopped from one desk to another just to exchange simple pleasantries.

‘Have you finished Sir Cedric’s homework?’

‘Did you watch One Slap Man yesterday? It was epic!’

‘Do you see today’s horoscope reading?’

‘Hey… You read Three Piece volume 115 yet?’

‘Ah! I know this actor. He play the role of a trashy male lead in recent evening drama, right?’

I still could clearly hear her soft melodious voice chirping in my ears. And how her eyes sparkled in delight as she surrounded herself with her friends.

Well… That might just be my bias opinion. After all, I had never really spoken to her except for the morning greeting she gave to everyone at the entrance of our class.

Now that I thought about it, I suddenly noticed one peculiarity. Was it just my imagination, or does she really never interacted with me? Just me… Why?

This instant realization sent me into an endless spiral of questions. Did I ever done anything that made me gained her dislike?

Maybe it was me who read too deeply into this. After all, I had only been here for three weeks. Maybe she took her time to get used to being around me. I get it… She must been nervous not knowing how to interact with me.

“Raf… Rafayel!” her voice slightly pitched up as she called me out of my trance.

“Ah! Yeah? What was it again?”

The hazel colored iris bore a hole on my face. “You know…” she muttered.

“Hm?”

“You don’t have to go along with their whim. It’s not like you were interested in the first place.”

Its all begin with a mere prank. That was how it all started. They called out my name and hers telling us what we should do.

‘You two should go out,’ they said.

Her intense gaze penetrated through my empty heart. Nonchalantly, I agreed and asked for her.

‘Alright’ was her response.

It came as a surprise even for me. There was a rumor going around, about myself. Well, not exactly rumor cause it was kind of true. One that say I dated around and never lasted more than a whole month.

They knew I would never poured out my heart. I could never give out my heart. That, she even knew. Yet, she agreed.

That made me pondered her intention. Does she not mind being hurt? A thought flashed through my mind.

An absurd theory came, I would say myself. Perhaps she love me too much that she would not mind. It made sense. Or else, why would she agreed. Of course, I didn’t knew yet that I was getting ahead of myself. And how I would come to regret my own past action. Foolish me.

“I’m okay. It’s not like I’m dating anyone currently,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders casually.

“That so…” she mumbled, eyes on her food.

There she goes again. Awkward silence that follow after her ‘is that so’ or ‘that so’ or ‘I see.’ Couldn’t help but wonder if this was the same person as the talkative girl everyone familiar with.

Ping!

A notification rang on the screen of my phone.

Linda : [Wanna go out today?]

Me : [Sure.]

According to the moral compass set by the society, it was wrong to mess around with another person when you were in a relationship. However, I refused to abide by such rule.

Why should I limit myself to one person when there are millions of people on earth. Reading the message, I peek on the girl before me.

“Going somewhere?” her voice echoed in my ears.

There was a resonance in my heart tugging on my conscience. Why? I came to feel uncomfortable with her question.

“Why you wanna know?” Sighing, I added, “we might be in relationship, but I hope you won’t inquire from me more than necessary.”

Unexpectedly, she rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue. “Hey, you. If you think I’m a kind of pushover that would pull away if you show me your attitude, then, pardon me, am not.”

“What?”

“I was just asking cause you seem restless. Seriously, why don’t you just go ahead and do something else. You make it like I’m the one begging you to stay. And… another thing. You might think acting like a rude jerk was cool, or playing around with people was freeing, but, unfortunately, you were wrong. You look pathetic.”

Pathetic? She said I was pathetic? For what? Just because I don’t pay her any attention? Is that it? Or because I’m meeting another girl. Is that it? What right does she have to restrict me from doing whatever I want?

She rose from her seat as she took the tray away. Even after waiting for exactly 5 minutes, she didn’t came back. What was wrong with her?

The day after and the day after and another day after. She didn’t spoke to me or met my eyes. Even after I went out of the trouble to start a conversation with her, she just hummed and trolled away.

How dare she! Did she not know, because of her, I haven’t had the mood to hang out with other girls? She made it looks like I’m in the wrong here.

“Hey!” I grabbed her sleeve, said, “why are you acting like this? You think I would take interest in you if you play hard to get?”

“Ha?!” her voice and her glare sent shiver to my spine. Did I said anything wrong?

“You know. I know well this push and pull trick you’re playing. Unfortunately, I won’t fell for it. You can’t change my mind. I won’t fell for this cheap trick of yours. So, you better stop this attitude already. It pissing me off.”

She sighed. “Why don’t we stop this already. We go out only because of peer pressure.”

“What?”

“Just what I said… Let’s stop this. I’m tired already having to put up with your narcissism.”

“HA?!”

“Pretend lover. Let’s end this. Just tell everyone we were not compatible or whatever.”

I didn’t notice when did she walked away or when the sun had set. The patrolling guard flash the light on my face, scolding me for staying late at school.

Just like that, I was dumped. For the first time. Why? Even though she loved me? Weren’t she supposed to be clinging desperately for my affection?

Or perhaps, this is part of her tactic to tackle my heart. That must be it. I won’t relent! I’ll show her that she had made the wrong move by playing hard to get. I despise this kind of tactic the most. Testing one affection toward their partner.

How despicable of her. That’s it! Enough is enough. I won’t give in to her. She won’t get what she desired. It’s her loss.

Or that what it was supposed to be…

Since that day, I couldn’t keep my eyes away from her. I kept trailing after her figures, and when at home, I would wonder what she does. Her presence became more noticeable the more I tried to get away.

I knew for sure what I’m currently feeling in this moment was curiosity. Was this her objective all along? To stir an unknown emotion in my heart?

Fine.

That’s it.

It’s her win.

I am interested in her.