It hurts. Acid reflux? What was all that heartburn all of the sudden? I clenched my fist to suppress the pain a little, holding it to my chest.

“Sota? Are you alright?”

I looked to my right, to the woman sitting beside me. I regained my composure as I noticed her worried look, eyebrows frowning and all that. Her short hair danced slightly with her tilted head. Maria, that’s her name. She was two years my senior at university. We had been hanging out with each other for at least a year by this time.

“I’m alright. Where were we?”

“You know, my problem?”

“Of course. So you feel like you’re ready now?”

“I do believe so.”

Maria turned to her right. Her expression was brighter than usual. Seemed like it was a good day for her. To be fair, before, it was really rare for us to have happy conversations. We met each other for the first time when both of us were literally sitting by ourselves in a park behind the campus. We were both in a really bad place, I with my problem and Maria with her abusive relationship.

“Ah, to think our Maria is finally ready for a new relationship. Father is so proud.”

“Het, that’s rude. I’m older than you.”

I chuckled, “still, I remember how you used to just destroy the beer cans endlessly, talking shit about your ex.”

“I know. I guess you were right. Time did heal.”

“I’m happy for you,” I could feel some kind of conflict going on in my head. It was quite complicated but, well, what did you think a twenty-one year old single dude would feel about a gorgeous girl who practically saved his life? Is it finally a chance?

“Ah… then, what do you think if I—”

The pain came back, stopping me mid-sentence. To explain what it was. It was like if you took the sharpest needle in the world and jabbed it into the center of my chest. That was the easiest way to explain heartburn.

“You okay, Sota?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. It was nothing.”

“So, what were you saying?”

I took  a glance once again at her. With pain came doubt and with doubt came the analysis. That was just how my head works. Think. That was my brain telling me things. “What I was saying is… who’s the lucky guy?”

What the fuck was I doing?

A brief pause followed by her face that blushed vivid red confirmed my conjecture. She looked to the side awkwardly.

“Does it show? Is it that clear? What do I do? How embarrassing.”

‘I told you so’ was probably what this pain in my chest was saying. I could clearly see the face of someone in love in front of me. Oh, how did I know that? I saw the same exact expression in the mirror every single night after our usual hangout for the past few months.

“I must have looked kinda stupid, huh?”

“Yeah, stupid indeed. Stupidly happy.”

Maria smacked my back, hiding her embarrassment. She couldn’t stop giggling for some reason.

“It’s someone from work. You know, the coffee shop part-time job thing.”

“Oh, the one on Fifth?”

“Yes. He was a little older than me. We had been coworkers for a while but a few months ago we started talking to each other. He taught me a lot and he was so easy to talk to.”

“I see,” I leaned back to the bench we were sitting on, sipping the can of black coffee in my hand. “That was the happiest I ever saw you, Maria.”

“Thank you! It’s all thanks to you, Sota.”

“Pardon? What did I do? I believe I did nothing.”

“Then I guess it’s not something you realized yourself.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah!” Maria crossed her arms with a proud tone and expression on her face like the big sister that she was. “Most guys would take advantage of what I went through and how I was but you didn’t. I needed a friend and you showed up as one. That helped a lot, you know? So, just being there helped so much.”

“That’s an awfully positive way to say about someone who just sits around.”

“Saying something like that suits me, doesn’t it?” She raised her eyebrows, trying to prove her point. Well, it’s not like I could deny that.

“Sure, senpai. If you said so,” I said playfully with a flat tone.

“What was that supposed to mean?”

“Sorry, I was just messing with—” the sound of a state-wide alert startled us. It came from our phones. [An explosion happened in Phantom District 19. Please refrain from approaching tower Alpha until further notice. All traffic should be redirected to tower Beta and Gamma.]

“That’s worrying,” Maria’s tone turned sour.

“Anyone you know living there?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Not really but these things have been happening a lot.”

“Thankfully the last few events didn’t have that many casualties.”

“Right, you’re part of the volunteer team, I heard.”

“Yes, me and my brother. I should probably check on him.”

We decided to cut it short to check on everyone. Fortunately, nobody was harmed in the explosion. Some rumors were talking about a terrorist group from outside but the news said it was a gas leak. A massive one.

“I’m fine, Sota. Enough about explosions. How did it go?”

“How did what go?”

I was on the phone with a close online friend, someone who called herself “Violette”. Aside from her voice and online nickname, I didn’t know anything about her identity. Not that I cared about it that much. We pretty much agreed that there wasn’t any need to meet each other before.

“Your senpai, moron. Don’t act dumb. The past three weeks she was the only one you talked about. So? How did it go?”

I, once again, clutched my chest and sighed. Things distracted me briefly but what she said reminded me of earlier. I took a deep breath and successfully suppressed the pain before continuing the conversation with a calmer tone.

“She got herself a boyfriend, Vi.”

“And from the way you said it—”

“Spot on. It’s not me.”

What followed after was the biggest and longest laugh I ever heard coming from Violette. I had to stay silent for the whole five minutes until she stopped laughing. Uncontrollable. It was rare so I felt a little happier.

“Are you done, miss Violette?”

“I told you, man. Follow your instinct. Why did you have to overthink every single detail that much? It’s not rocket science.”

“Hey! You know how complicated it is. Besides—” I rubbed my chest that still had the residual sting, trying to control my breathing. I sighed out of relief. “It’s for the best. I think I need her more as a friend than anything right now.”

“Is it back? The pain? You’ve been holding back your breathing.” Violette’s voice turned serious all of the sudden. It always amazed me how she could just turn the stupidity on and off in an instant.

“For a couple weeks now.”

“God. You really are unlucky.”