The first day back from spring break always felt like a performance. I tugged at my schoolbag strap, smoothed the front of my skirt, and pretended it was wrinkled even though it wasn’t. It wasn’t about wrinkles, it was about looking like the version of myself I wanted people to see: organized, polished, normal. Keystone smelled faintly of disinfectant and pencil shavings, exactly as it always did. The building never seemed to change, even when I had. Cool metal pressed against my collarbone under the fabric of my blouse. The pendant from last year’s solstice ritual sat hidden, unnoticed by anyone else, though I found myself touching it whenever I felt unsteady. Hidden charms never hurt anyone.

“Selene!” someone called out. I turned just in time to see Benjamin waving at me from down the hall, his backpack slung over one shoulder, a half-smirk already tugging at his mouth. The act of being “normal” suddenly felt less exhausting.

“Hi, Benjamin,” I said, forcing my smile into something casual. Around him, I never felt like I had to fake quite as much. “How was Spring Break?” I tilted my head just enough to make the question look effortless. “Boring,” he groaned as he fell into step beside me. “No quests, no anime marathons. I almost started a D&D campaign by myself.” he said with a small pout on his face. “Sad,” I replied flatly, though a laugh stirred in my chest. Somehow, Benjamin always made even the dullest hallway conversations sound like a comedy skit. We passed the trophy cases, sunlight catching on the glass. My eyes flicked to a shadowed corner, darker than it should have been. The pendant felt suddenly heavy against my skin. I walked a little faster, just enough to keep at Benjamin’s side instead of trailing behind.

I noticed that the hallway seemed darker than usual, when I looked up, I saw some lights weren't working today and then I heard Ben's voice in“do you remember how we first met?” He asked as he looked at me, sometimes it felt like he stared into my soul instead of my physical body, “yeah. . .at the party before Easter break of seventh grade? Why are you asking?” I asked as I raised my left eyebrow. “Well, we're in year eleven now. . .it's been so long since we started being friends since year seven,  it's been like. . .” Benjamin’s smirk widened into something more mischievous, the kind of look he usually got right before cracking a joke at someone’s expense. But instead of words tumbling out fast, he just studied me, eyes sharp and unreadable. For a second, it felt like the whole hallway had gone quieter, lockers slamming, footsteps, the shrill squeak of sneakers, all of it dimmed. “Five years?,” he finally said,  stretching the word like he was buying himself time, I nodded as I let out a light hum, “yes. . . .it would be five years." I answered, there was silence between us, I didn't even bother trying to listen to anything but Benjamin until he decided to open his mouth again, “shouldn’t we… do something about that? About it being five years, I mean.” I tilted my head, waiting. His eyes sparkled in a way that made me both curious and slightly uneasy. “Maybe hang out? Just us?” he suggested, and his voice carried an edge of seriousness I wasn’t used to hearing from him. I felt my lips twitch upward before I could stop myself. My chest did this annoying fluttery thing, like I’d just missed a step on the stairs. It wasn’t a bad idea, not at all, I actually wanted to say yes immediately, but my brain decided to stall, overthinking every possible meaning behind the words “just us.” Would it be awkward? Would people assume things? Did I want them to assume things? I don't want the others in our friend group to think about our private hangout? Wouldn't they think it was romantic? I didn't want them to think it was romantic, only if I knew I would spiral into this, Benjamin's eyes lingered on me like he was trying to read my whole soul in one glance. The seconds stretched too long, I swear I almost saw his little smirk falter for a second, just for a second,  and my smile started to feel shaky, so I dropped it and shifted back into my neutral mask. Only then did he open his mouth again to say another thing, lightly, almost too casually: "Don't worry. We can  hang out with the others later.” that relieved me more than it should've, “sure, just us.” I replied, I tried sounding normal, I really did try, but my voice sounded awkward and a little quieter than usual, and just like that, the moment snapped back to normal, Benjamin stared at me somewhat weirdly as he pushed open the door to the biology lab like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. 

I followed Benjamin Pretty closely as we took two seats in the front row, I saw the pack Of popular kids in the backrow As i sigh, expecting the worst already. “We started learning about cell structures, yeah?” Benjamin questioned As he turned his head towards me, “mhm, we're learning cell structure now.” I answer as I pull out my biology notebook, a pastel Blue notebook with some stickers of stars, plants and rocks on the cover. “Try not to doodle in your notebook this time.” Benjamin joked as he lightly nudged my shoulder, I chuckled as I opened my notebook on a blank page, “I'll try not to.” I responded as I pulled some strands of my hair back, the strands of hair sat comfortably behind my ear as I pulled out my pencil case out of my bag. the bell Rang as more students entered the lab and took their seats, harper steins, rory allen and Daniel Murphy took  seats near me and Benjamin, I noticed that Harper Pulled her air buds out of her ears as grabbed her bag and placed her pencil case and notebook on the row we all sat at, “what were you listening To, Harper? I asked as I looked at her direction, “oh, I was listening to Imogen Heap.” Harper stated As she looked at me, “and good morning, it's nice to see you.” Harper added as she subtly nodded. “Good morning to you too, Harper.” I replied as the teacher entered the classroom, Mr. Kenny was teaching the class about cell structures. I looked out the window at the end of the row, the sky wasn't that cloudy and the sky was this beautiful blue hue that made my eyes linger more.

I mainly wished for class to end, I would rather study history or English literature currently more than anything else until Mr. Kenny faked a cough and spoke in a harsher tone. “miss Walter, what are ribosomes located, and what is their function?” He questioned me as I made eye contact with him, every color possibly drained out of my face as I felt my hands sweat a little. “Uh. . .A ribosome is an intercellular structure made of both RNA and protein, and. . .uhm.  . .it is the site of protein synthesis in the cell. It's also responsible for. . .making protein.” I answered, I looked around and saw Benjamin smiling at me, "I thought you weren't listening.” Benjamin commented as I started laughing, Mr. Kenny sighed annoyingly as he continued with his lesson. “You're such dork sometimes.” I muttered to Benjamin, trying to sound annoyed but I couldn't contain my smile. I don't know why I couldn't contain my smile, but seeing Benjamin's face light up and he snorted as I smacked him on his shoulder lightly. I turned my gaze towards the white board and nearly fell asleep from the lecture. Mr. Kenny continued to teach the class about cells and their structure. I was taking notes every once for a while when it was necessary, even though I wrote this five times already. . .i think it was either four or five times because this class heats information from one ear and it comes out the other by the end of the lesson. Every once for a while I would sneak a glance at my friends, Allen Rory and Daniel Murphy were whispering between one another. I couldn't figure out what they're whispering about, but it must be interesting. Harper was taking notes every time I glanced, when I think about it, I haven't seen a single time when Harper haven't studied for something important, I mean i’m also like that, or i’m the worse version of Harper because all I do besides be with my friends is study, I make myself sound like I'm the biggest nerd at the school. Ironic, isn't it? I do wonder if people ever hated me because of it, it's completely possible in my mind.

As I decide to do anything Else but mourn the fact i want to skip the rest of the day and just kill myself, but deciding against it,  i look at the ticking clock that's above the whiteboard, only half of the lesson has passed by, I felt like the lesson has been going on for two hours without any breaks, I swear time goes slower in School than Anywhere else, i feel someone nudging my arm, and right afterwards I hear a whisper, “should we start A DnD campaign, like all the group? Harper and Daniel agreed, but Rory said he had better things to do. . .what about you?” Benjamin asked me, I thought about it for a minute with a thoughtful hum before I answered quietly. “I mean. . .i need to think about it more, but it's currently a no.” I tilted my head ever slightly as I sighed, it's not entirely false that I need to think about it, but deep down I don't have any original character, like it Matters, Ben or Daniel could help me build a character but I also couldn't imagine myself playing D&D, I liked the concept but for me? It's complex and I don't have the brains for it, sounds cringe and embarrassing to admit, I know. But I rather admit it more than anything. Ben sighed as he pouted and looked at the white board. Mr. Kenny wrote new things for us to write, so I grabbed my pen and started writing it down. I swear I could've felt Rory leaning across the desk, lowering his voice but still managing to sound dramatic. “I swear, Harper, your  playlist is cursed. Every time you listen to it, something bad happens. Last time she had it on, the vending machine ate my money. Don't you think so?”