The snow peacefully drifted through the air, ignorant of the bustling crowds of people making their way throughout the town. It landed gently on a bench facing the ocean, where a girl wrapped up in scarves and a giant puffy jacket sat. She softly sniffled, her eyes brimming wet and bright red. This girl just had her heart broken.

“You fucking shit…” she said quietly to herself as she wiped her nose with her sleeve.

Her face was flushed and her head was throbbing as her vision began to blur. She could hear a voice calling out to her but she couldn’t make out what was being said. They cupped her cheeks and eventually lifted her up to carry her away from the cold.

“Dammit Nara, I take my eyes off of you for two seconds and you run off to cry yourself to death.”

The girl’s snow sprinkled lashes fluttered open, awakened by the sudden warmth of the person holding her. They arrived at a small and cozy coffee shop, where the person, still carrying the girl, slipped past the front counter and through the back door that led to a break room.

She let out a deep sigh as she put Nara down on the couch and covered her with a light blanket. A head peeked through the door and quickly glanced at the girl sprawled out on the sofa then up at the tall figure next to standing next to her.

“Hi Boss…um…is everything alright? This is the third time you’ve brought Nara back here like this” the employee said with slight concern in his expression.

The boss threw off her coat and tied up their long hair without saying a word. She smiled softly at the worker and motioned him to go back to work. Why was Nara so worked up over this heart break? That man had always been a scum bag, so what did she even see in him anyway?

“Andy…” A quiet voice called out while the boss was lost in thought.

Andy jumped up at the sound of her name and rushed over to Nara’s side. Her face was still warm and she was breathing heavily. Andy brushed her hair to the side and touched her forehead to check for a fever. Many thoughts were still running through their mind, and Nara caught on immediately. She giggled and lightly tapped Andy’s cheek with her fingertips.

“Isn’t it funny? When we first met, you found me in the snow too,” Nara said softly.

Andy grumbled and quickly pulled away from her, her face slightly red. What was that, she thought to herself. Nara quickly fell back asleep and Andy rested her cheek in her hand. She stared at Nara’s peaceful face for a long time, taking in every detail. The gentle curve of her nose, the little mole that sits on her left cheek, everything about her was beautiful. She was right there, yet she was so far out of reach.

They met thirteen years ago, both of them at the age of ten, on a snowy day. Nara sat on the ground and played in the snow, completely oblivious to her surroundings. Suddenly, someone crashed into her, destroying whatever she was making in the snow. The little girl burst into tears before Nara could even process what happened.

“I-it’s okay! Please don’t cry, I’ll just make it again! How about we make it together?” Nara said sweetly to the girl. “Are you okay? What’s your name?”

“…Andy.”

Andy wasn’t a very talkative child, and she was quite picky and reserved. Nara noticed this pretty quickly and reached out her hand.

“Or we can get hot chocolate at my house! I’m actually pretty cold now so let’s go together,” Nara exclaimed, smiling brightly at Andy.

This shining personality of hers made Andy want to know more about her. She didn’t understand this feeling, but her mind was already completely consumed by Nara. Thirteen years later, and she still runs around in Andy mind like a cat chasing a laser pointer. She watched Nara get her heart broken a handful of times, but the most she could ever do was quietly support her. She didn’t have the courage to tell her how she felt. What if it destroys their friendship? What if she gets upset because Andy had thirteen years to tell her, but didn’t?

Andy was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t realize that Nara had woken up again. Nara looked at her with worried eyes and held Andy’s face in her hands. Andy fought to hold back her tears and smiled softly.

“How about some hot chocolate, hm? You need to warm up,” Andy said, reaching up to hold one of Nara’s hands. There was a slight tremble in her voice.

Before Nara could say anything, Andy sprung out of her seat and rushed out to the shop. When she came back, Nara was already seated at the table, quietly scrolling on her phone. She sat down and placed the cup in front of her without saying a word, waiting for her to react.

“What is going on with you-“

“Ah, I think I just heard a customer come in,” Andy interrupted, and she ran out the door again.

Let your employees do their work…since when did you tend to the customers anyway? Nara thought to herself. They needed to talk. Nara was always very perceptive, but sometimes it was hard to understand what Andy was feeling. Andy is so sweet and caring one moment, then totally awkward and dodgy the next. As smart as Nara was, she never figured out this pattern. In fact, that thought of them ever being together had never crossed her mind.

Andy knew this. She knew that Nara never thought of them like that. She knew that she acted weird every time Nara went through a breakup. She thought that she would be satisfied with just being by Nara’s side as her childhood friend and watch her fall in love with someone else. But she started feeling greedy. Nara would give her affection and attention, and she couldn’t help but want more.

Andy stood behind the espresso machine while cleaning the mugs. Her thoughtful expression garnered a few stares. This coffee shop was known for its great coffee and desserts, but many people came here because of the beautiful employees. It was no surprise seeing customers come up to the counter to attempt to flirt with them.

Andy's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. She looked up to see a tall man with a friendly smile walking in, fresh snowflakes melting on his coat. He walked up to the counter and asked for a hot mocha, carefully observing her face. Her long, black hair was tied up in a high pony tail, the end of her hair resting over her shoulder. Her lashes fluttered as she scanned the computer screen and her slender fingers tapped lightly at the screen.

“That’ll be four dollars, sir,” she said finally looking up at him.

No response. He was staring at her but his mind was elsewhere. She waved her hand in front of his face to grab his attention and repeated what she said.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry. You’re just so beautiful that I ended up getting lost in thought. Maybe we could grab some dinner some time?” he said, his ears turning red.

Oh brother… Andy was unfortunately used to these types of people, so she just smiled and handed him his receipt. After handing him his coffee, he hands the receipt back to her and walks away smiling. Looks like he wrote down his number and the words think about it on the back. Andy sighs and just as she was about to throw it away, a hand reached out to stop her. It was her employee slash cousin, Daniel, who checked in on her and Nara earlier.

“I don’t want to overstep, but I think you should at least give it some thought. You can’t keep holding on forever, or you’re just going to be miserable. Plus he’s hot,” Daniel smirked.

“Haha, I forget that you’re not my baby cousin anymore. Look at you giving me advice now!” Andy patted him on the head and stuffed the receipt in her pocket.

During their conversation, Nara had left the break room and found herself a seat by the window. She noticed the serious looks on Andy and Daniel’s faces, wonder what in the world could’ve caused them to look like that.

She took a sip of her hot chocolate and looked around outside the window, noticing the beauty in the snow that was still falling outside. It was always so peaceful when it snowed, yet the things that happened to her during the winter were anything but peaceful. She noticed a couple outside walking hand in hand and laughing, their breaths visible in the cold air. She wondered if she would ever find someone to walk with like that. Suddenly she was snapped out of her thoughts by Daniel’s voice.

“Nara! I didn’t even notice you came out. We were just talking about-“

“Nothing, Daniel. We were talking about nothing,” Andy interrupted, glaring at him.

Nara was a bit taken aback but shrugged it off, instead focusing on the drink in front of her. She took a sip and let out a content sigh. Maybe everything would be okay. In the end, Andy was always there to comfort her.

“Andy! Let’s go to the hot springs this weekend. My coworker gave me some tickets that I’ve yet to use,” Nara steered away from the subject.

“Um, I think I might be busy. Take Daniel, he’s never busy.”

“Haha, you got other friends or something?”

Andy shifted her eyes to the side. Nara was just teasing but seeing her act shifty only made her want to pry more. She grabbed Andy’s hand and looked up at her with puppy eyes. Andy pressed her lips into a line and sighed.

“It’s a date. I’m going on a date. Can I please get back to work now?” Andy said reluctantly.

Nara felt her whole body freeze. Did she hear that right? Andy’s eyes were cast downwards, avoiding Nara’s gaze. Nara was stunned. She felt a sharp throb in her chest and slowly let go of Andy’s hand. Andy’s never been in a relationship, at least to Nara’s knowledge, let alone go on dates. Nara didn’t know what to say, so she just sat there in silence, staring at Andy. They didn’t say another word to each other and Andy proceeded to make her way back behind the counter.

The weekend arrived and Andy went to dinner with that man. They ate and had a couple of drinks at a nice French restaurant downtown, and Andy seemed to be enjoying herself. Their conversations flowed naturally and he was attentive and caring the whole time. Before parting ways, he takes her hands and looks at her with his gentle eyes. She knew what was coming.

“I had a great time tonight. Maybe we can see each other again?” he said, rubbing her hands with his thumbs and leaning in a little bit closer.

Andy stepped back a bit and smiled at him. She enjoyed his company, however she couldn’t feel anything with him. She touched his arm and bid him goodnight, not knowing what else to say to him. Being with him meant that she would have to move on from Nara.

But she didn’t want that. She wanted Nara.

Andy walked around the city for a bit, watching the snow fall and twinkle against the city lights. Should she just risk it all and tell her? She kept arguing with herself and ended up walking for a couple of hours until she eventually made it back to her apartment. From the distance, she spotted a small figure sitting outside her door.

It was Nara, shivering with snot and tears dripping from her face. Andy rushed over and immediately wrapped her coat around Nara.

“What the hell are you doing out here? How long have you been here? Are you okay?”

Nara looked up at the tall, well-dressed person and cried even harder, grabbing onto her waist. Okay, she’s fucking drunk. Andy dragged her inside and onto the couch, while Nara partially resisted and threw a fit. Andy made her way to the kitchen to fix some hot tea for the both of them when Nara got up and followed her.

Nara stumbled and tried grabbing onto the counter, but ended up pulling Andy down to the floor with her. Andy could feel Nara’s breath against her neck and shuddered. She was way too close. Andy started to get up when Nara pulled her back down again and stuffed her face into Andy’s torso.

“Are you leaving me, too?” Nara sniffled.

“What are you talking about? I’d never leave you-”

“But you went out with that guy! What if you guys get married and you never see me again? What if he takes you away from me?” Nara erupted, tears gushing out of her eyes.

Andy froze. She just had too much to drink, that’s all. But why was she drinking so much in the first place? She pulled Nara into a tight embrace, sweetly stroking her hair. Maybe there was a chance that Nara felt the same way.

“You’re supposed to be mine. You’re supposed to be there for me when my heart is broken. You can’t date other people, you can’t!” Nara said sleepily, not realizing how she sounds.

“Hold on a second. You don’t OWN me. Who are you to tell me I’m not allowed to see other people?” Andy grabbed Nara’s shoulders and pulled her away.

Is this what she thought of their friendship? That she was just some therapy aide that she beckons like a dog? She was just about to tell Nara how she felt, but now she had no courage to. And she couldn’t even talk to her now while she was in this inebriated state. Andy sighed and stood up, putting away the tea she was about to make. She didn’t want to deal with Nara right now. Hearing her say something like that brought her back to reality.

“Get up. You can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch. We can’t talk like this,” Andy said while pulling Nara up and leading her to the bedroom.

As she laid her down on the bed, Nara tugged on Andy’s sleeve. She looked at Andy with those puppy eyes that Andy was so weak to, and Andy couldn’t help but feel her chest tighten. Nara quickly fell asleep right after, leaving Andy alone in the silence of her home.

I’m not your toy. Why can’t you just love me? Andy grabbed her keys and left to stay over at Daniel’s place for the night.