It’s dark, but not dark enough. I roll over to my left side, then immediately switch.

Watch the door, watch the door, can’t turn away

I narrow my eyes at the small crack that runs between the moulding of the doorframe and the door itself. A tiny bit of light seeps through, and I can hear Archie downstairs.

They’re arguing about college again. He got a scholarship to Brown, but he doesn’t want to go. Said he wasn’t cut out for it. I told him he was being stupid. He agreed with me, but I didn’t and wish that I did. 

Selfish, he deserves better

I jump a little under the covers as the door slams downstairs.

A loud sigh, then a familiar gait after the lights turn off.

Yep, it’s Archie.

His careful footsteps tap up the stairs, and keep walking down the hallways past his room to mine. I shut my eyes and snore softly.

I can hear the hinges creak, and he walks up to my bed.

 ?

I think he’s kneeling, and he brushes the hair out of my eyes.

“Hey, kiddo.”

He breathes for a little while. About four minutes. Just me and him, breathing.

Mine is deep and restful, but his speeds up and hitches in his chest. He gulps. When he speaks, his voice is wet and pinkish.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just…”

A beat.

“I don’t want to leave you here with...with him.”

Oh Archie…

“If I I’m gone, who’ll be here to…”

To stop him, I think.

I crack open my eye-a risky move, but he’s got his head rested on the mattress in front of me. I’m tempted to reach out and console him but find myself...paralysed.

He sniffles loudly and stands up, running a hand through my hair before walking out and shutting the door.

So that’s why he doesn’t want to go.

My fingers crawl to the edge of the bed where his head was. It’s wet.

An unseen weight in my chest sags, and something like guilt seems to hold me down, sinking me further into my bed. I let it.