I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I think. Like, I clearly remember becoming obsessed with the idea for like, a whole year when I was alive. Maybe. Irrelevant, moving on.

Okay, epic, let’s do this. Wait- do I still need to ‘be considerate of children’? No? Great, because I have a swearing problem. Enjoy that.

As you probably know, I’m the guy in the vents. A ghost, I guess. I’m narrating the wonderful story of these dumbass kids. Oh! Hey, here’s one now!

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Once upon a time, there was a tonne of kids at this crap of a school, and here! Here, we have this girl! They have the hair of a- uh… hm. Y’know what, fuck it, I can’t talk fancy. This chick has brown hair. This one’s our main character. She’s kinda boring, bit of a dweeb and a loner. Get used to it, hoes. 

What? What’s wrong with me saying hoes? No no no, I’m not tryna be mean! It’s affectionate!! They’re fine with it, right guys? Right…? Okay okay, I’ll stop doing it that much if they don’t like it. Sorry… don’t leave, please…

AHHH, YOU’VE DISTRACTED ME, YOU LEMON--- back on track with the story!!! Here we go! So, we’ve got this plain one over here, and can you believe it? Our star of the show has actually got a friend! Welcome to the party.

Oh, Jesus, this dude. This asshole, this is the guy that Bella has a heck of a crush on. You really couldn’t have chosen a bigger douche to chase after, huh? Get a grip, girl. Wait- shit- have I told you these guys’ names yet? Dammit- okay, Bella is our main character, her best friend is Daisy, and last, but definitely least, is this literal crap-stain of a love interest, Jason. 

Listen up, ya shits, this is their story. Whoop-dee-doo, and warmly welcome.