"All right!!! Students of Westerberg High!!! Welcome to the student pep rally!! Time to get HYPED!!" Heather McNamara one of my, I wouldn't say friends, 'pawns' says. She's head cheerleader, which just adds to her overly perky, peppy, obnoxiousness but she knows her role and doesn't try to get in my way. "Heather. What are we even doing here? We never come to these things," Heather Duke asks me. Honestly, I have the most control over Duke she's weak but I gave her the chance to fuck with the eagles. Yet for some reason, she doesn't fully understand her place as the third Heather, McNamara, and I will always have more power over her.

"Easy Heather. What's the biggest high school event for senior year?" She opens her mouth to speak and I shut her up, "Prom! HEATHER! God! Did you have a brain tumor for fucking breakfast! At least tell me you know who's the queen of Westerburg High?" "You, Heather." "That's right Heather!" "But Prom's not for 5 more weeks? Why go to the pep rallies?" "Are you questioning me, Heather? I thought you learned by now not to question me?! Will I have to dump you like we did Veronica? Are you going to befriend Martha Dump truck too?" I say walking into her personal space, my aura overpowering hers. "No, Heather..." She says backing down, virtually baring her neck to her superior. "Good! Now, I'm doing this because it might not be prom, but it's prom season, Heather! It's the most valuable time if I want that fucking crown!" My anger towards Duke's lack of intelligence boils under my skin, deep breaths Heather you're in front of people think of what your parents would say. "And showing I care about this school is gonna make me hit the top." I think her last brain cell has finally fried as she takes a seat. And we watch Heather and the other cheer-bimbos dance and chantlike seals.

I fucking hate pep rallies. The goddam noise. People shouting and yelling. Cheerleaders chanting trying to get us 'hyped'. Shity pop music muffled under the noise of it all, god it gives me a fucking headache. "Yo, Heather!!" Urgh! The only two people to say 'Yo' are Kurt and Ram. I have to put on my pretty side around them. "Kurt, Ram. What brings you two here?" "Ah, nothing fancy Heather just saw Heather over here and thought I'd say 'Hi'," Ram says pulling Heather in for a kiss. If I was her 'friend' I would tell her she's too good for him but Heather could use the popularity boost that comes with Ram. If I was her 'Best friend' I'd tell her he's obviously gay for Kurt and Kurt is for him but pawns aren't friends.

"Woo! Aow Aow!! Get it, Ram!!" Kurt starts doing whatever the fuck that was. God these two never shut up do they. "Ewww, Kurt! Keep your excitement in your pants!" Heather says pushing Ram off her. "Come on Kurt! Let's leave these lovelies to their peace. Coach wants us to do extra practice anyways!" Ram says hitting his chest and the two runoff. Why do people even like them? Well as long as they're on top might as well make friends, they also through ragers like no one could. So I let Heather believe he loves her and hey if McNamara wants to date the other fag so be it more popularity for them means more votes for me.

"Alright, Westerburg High!!!! I have some stellar news for everyone!!!" McNamara says holding one of those megaphones up to her mouth, "In just 5 weeks the biggest most clutch thing for seniors ever is starting!! I'm talking bout what?!?!!?!" The cheer bimbos yell out "PROM!!" "That's right!! Because it is prom season the cheerleaders are gonna be collecting ballots for prom king and queen requests!!! The top three people to get votes will be voted for at prom to be king and queen!!!! Be sure to party hardy and no slam dancing!!! Now let's give a big huge round of applause and cheers for the Westerburgs football team!!!!!!!" McNamara says flipping off her little soapbox and clapping with the rest of the cheerleaders.

"Urgh fuck me with a chainsaw, why don't you Heather!?" I yell at McNamara. "What did I do?" she says "You seem to have forgotten to tell me that you would tell everyone about prom today!!" I say slamming the auditorium doors open. "Who cares! I'll still find some way to win. Heather" I say turning to Duke, "Since that shit show is over what are we gonna do now?" Duke asks belligerently. "Let's go tear up Ms. Flemings' lawn! I say here taking Veronica into her office today." McNamara says "Just like a loser to find the weirdest people in school to cry to." Duke says "Poor, poor Veronica. First, she fails at being on top then her little Bo Diddley boy toy leaves with his Daddy now she's even too low for Martha Dumptruck to hang out with!" I say walking through the halls.

At the Chandler resadance~~

People move out of their way for me. They want to be me. They all want me as a friend or a fuck, in the end, so what if a few people's feelings are hurt? I do what needs to be done to stay on the top where I belong! Just like my mother did. Father and mom ran Westerburg back in high school its only right I do it in their footsteps. After all, Chandlers are gods among mortals. And just like Duke and McNamara's parents, they are my pawns, my servants, the people I will always have power over. I gave them the chance to fuck with the eagles.

"Yo! What is up Westerburg! It's Mikey on here with the next segment of Hot Probz!!" The radio chimes in. People always turn into 'Hot Probz' if you are good enough at voices you can always tell who the sad sap calling is. Gives the perfect thing to make fun of them, and I get to keep my place on top. "Todayyyy we're here with a lil chicky gabbing bout her Hot Probz!! Tell us your name girly!" "I'm...I'm. Screw it. I'm Martha Dunnstalk." "Stellar! So Martha Dunnstalk tell me your hot probz?" "HAHAHAHA Holly fuck DUMPTRUCK IS ON HOT PROBZ! Fuck!! This is too good!!" I've almost doubled over in laughter this is too perfect, tomorrow's gonna be her living nightmare.

"I'm over this town! Everyone laughs and mocks me! Martha Dumptruck this Martha Dumptruck that! Every lunch break one of those bitches gives me some sort of note about Kurt or Ram then I'm the laughing stock of the whole school till the next day rinse and repeat!" "Whoa Whoa! This sounds like some gnarly stuff sweetie! Sure you don't wanna talk this out with your folks! From the audio feed sounds like you're around traffic." Mikey says trynna save the unsavable. "No, I'm done. This is my public suicide note! Burn in hell Westerburg!" Then there's a beep like the call has ended. "An-And that was today's 'Hot Probz'. Uhhh we'll be back sometime...Peace" And with that, the perfect fucking song plays, 'Teenage Suicide by Big Fun. A quad fucking hitter!! I can't fucking even!!! "HEATHER! HEATHER'S ON THE LINE ASKING TO TALK MAKE IT QUICK!!!" My Father yells from his office. Heather must have called while he was on the line fuck...

"What Heather!!" I yell into the phone. "Are you listing to 'Hot Probz'?" McNamara asks. "No shit Heather! The fuck else would I be doing right now." "Duh, right anyways did you hear?" "Yeah, Dumptruck ran into the street." "Be nice Heather this is serious!" Uhg sometimes fucking McNamara gets under my skin. " Get crucial! She was dialing suicide hotlines in her diapers!" "You're right..... Anyways guess what Heather told me?" "Spill." "Little Veronica saved Dumptruck!! Apparently, Veronica was nearby and pulled her out of the street! Martha only lost a leg in the wreck! Not even painfully she got it amputated at the hospital!" "Fuck! She's gonna put a damper on my plans for queen isn't she?!?" "Probably..butttt! I heard from Heather that Ram's gonna ask you to the prom so that's sure to get you some form of extra votes huh." "I guess I'm just gonna have to work even harder to get what I deserve! TTYL" And with that, I hang up.  

"Heather.." My mother says standing in my, was once closed, doorway. "Yes, Mother?" I say moving to look at her. She makes her way to my bed and I follow. " I heard from Heather's Mother that it's prom season, correct?" She says petting and running her finger through my hair. "Yes, Mother." " You're aware that I was prom queen in my senior year...and Jr year." She says her voice turning biting. "Of course mother." "Then you're aware of how important it is that you are the next prom queen. I do not need you disappointing me and your father again." She looks down at my face, "It's such a shame. You would have been so much prettier if you didn't get your father's eyes. Your father's work friends are coming over, so make yourself pretty. We have an image to uphold Heather" And she walks out of my room