This was a joke. 

A really poor joke, given how things have been going, but a joke nonetheless. I never intended for things to end up this way when I gave the “female lead” some advice to try and prevent her from being miserable for a good four years of her life. How was I to know that she’d make the rash decision to not only elope with her childhood friend, the man who’d soon be revealed to be the long lost prince, and that things would end up with me getting married to the Grand Duke in her place?

Gods, I never should have tried to be nice.

“Just follow your heart.” I had told her one day over some tea, pondering if it was alright for me to interfere so much with the original story. “Why go along with your parents' whims and be miserable, when there’s someone you actually want to be with who makes you happy? Besides, getting married doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be happy- especially when you don’t even know the guy.”

I was no more than an extra; no, I was less than an extra.

Eleanora von Ryker didn’t exist even in the background in the novel. She was someone who was so unimportant she wasn’t even given a role, a name, or a purpose. She was just a faceless there in a crowd of thousands. Someone that never existed, or was just so unimportant no one knew she existed. I'm not even sure how I ended up taking her place.

Or did I take her place? It was all rather confusing.

We had the same face, the same body, the same hair and eye color. We even shared the same first name. Rather than saying I had taken her place, it was more like we were the same entity from two different realities- yet, if that was the case, then what happened to this Eleanora? Is she in my body back in my world? If so… I’m not sure if I should be happy for her or pity her. It wasn’t as if her life in this world was a good one, but my health in my world wasn’t all that great either.

In fact, that’s… the last thing I remember before waking up as a “von Ryker”.

I was with my older sister, having a surprisingly good day for once, the weather actually tolerable and the air plenty breathable, when an asthma attack struck me out of the blue. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t… do anything. I was just gasping, grasping at nothing, my rescue inhaler failing me. I remembered my older sister screaming and crying over me.

And then… yes… I remember seeing butterflies.

The most beautiful golden butterflies I had ever seen. A voice called out to me, one that didn’t belong to my older sister, and it was… odd. It was distinctly feminine, yet there was a warble to it- and echo- that made it not feel quite human. I wondered if it was the grim reaper come to collect my soul.

“It’s time to wake up, little wren…” It had said, voice ever so gentle and kind, like a pair of warm hands had wrapped themselves around my trembling soul. “You can’t sleep forever. There’s work to be done.”

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in an old rickety bed. I felt cold, then feverish. My entire body felt as though it were on fire, weaker than ever and nearly drained of all energy. It was a struggle just to open my eyes. But then a strength began to flow through me, a rush of adrenaline, and I found myself shooting straight up into a sitting position, gasping and grasping at the tattered green blankets that covered my legs.

I felt dizzy. Confused.

Looking around the room, I saw all the fabric in the area- curtains, rugs- were in a similar state to the blanket, tattered and dirty, and all the furniture was neglected and covered in dust, bits of mold even clinging to the wood. Cracks lined the walls and wooden floors. The entire place was a mess.

Where… is this? I didn’t recognize anything. What’s going on?

Is this a dream? It’s been a while since I had one this vivid.

Despite having regained some energy, I still felt a bit dizzy, and as I made to remove the blankets from my legs I saw bandages were wrapped around my hands and arms- which were abnormally thin. A filthy white dress drowned my form. “Wh-What the…?”

Why am I wounded? Am... I wearing a nightgown? Where is this? What's going on? Why does it hurt to speak? My throat feels so sore and parched.

Is this really a dream?

Sliding off the bed, my legs nearly gave out on me. I had to force my body to move, stumbling over to a nearby vanity, a sinking feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. Yet when I saw my reflection… it was me. At first, I felt relief, but then I realized just how off it was. It was clearly my face staring right back at me; it had my pale skin and round brown eyes and even darker brown hair, but I looked a couple years younger and a little emaciated. My hair, which I normally kept incredibly short, fell down to my waist. It was as if my asthma attack had knocked me into a coma, and I got hurt in the process of passing out somehow. Yet if several years had passed- which they should have, given the length my hair is now- I shouldn't look younger. I should look older.

"Th-That’s… not…" Ow.

I winced and brought a hand up to my throat.

"Ah, ahhh, ahhh... ahem. A-Ahem! Ahh! Aha, there we go."

This is so weird. Maybe I really am dreaming.

Well, dream or not, this long hair is going to start driving me crazy sooner or later.

I spent the next ten minutes searching every single drawer that was in the room for a pair of scissors, and though the pair I found wasn’t necessarily the sharpest, I decided to use it anyway and wobbled back over to the vanity, taking a seat on the dilapidated stool.

Seriously, what kind of nightmare am I having?

The room and furniture looked like it all might have once been fanciful and beautiful, something befitting someone of wealth, but it looks like its been abandoned and left to rot for years. Even the nightgown I was wearing was filthy, not to mention how gross my hair was in its current state.

Slicing off the thick strands slowly but surely, I couldn't help but cringe, feeling how greasy and matted it all was.

Is this because I was reading Manhwa before bed again? That's the only thing I can think of that might have caused this sort of weird dream. Maybe I shouldn’t read so many comic before going to sleep. Perhaps even the asthma attack I had was just part of this dream's elaborate setup; it wouldn't be the first time I had such a detailed nightmare.

"Gods, these scissors suck..." I made a face at the rusted piece of metal, before grimacing at the feel of my hair again. "I need a serious shower."

And… something to drink.

In the middle of working on my bangs, the bedroom door practically slammed open, and I jumped- whipping my head around to see who it was. “H-Hi! Hello! Uh… what’s going on?”

The woman, who was clearly a maid going by her outfit, stared, a large bowl in her hands. She looked at the bed I had woken up on, turned her gaze to the locks of hair on the floor, and then looked back up at me. Her face twisted in a scowl. “Great. You’re awake. And you’re already making a mess we’re gonna have to clean up.”

She slammed the large bowl on the vanity, and I blinked, glancing down and catching sight of the absolute filthy water that was inside of it. It was such a nasty brown, I couldn’t help but wonder if she mixed some dirt inside of it, because it looked muddy.

“What is wrong with you?”

Blinking again, I stared at her. She just pointed at the bowl of dirty water, resting a hand on her hip.

“Wash yourself with that.”

Okay, stay calm. Don’t panic. Shut everything down.

Let’s think this through.

I had an asthma attack, then awoke malnourished with long hair. Now someone dressed like a maid barged into what I think is supposed to be my room, and rather than answer my question… she started antagonizing me instead, glaring at me with utmost hostility.

This is fine. It’s… just a dream.

I’ve dealt with bullies before. All I need to plaster on a smile and it’ll freak her out.

Yes. Perfect. Let’s do that.

Leaning back into my chair, I crossed one leg over the other and folded my thin arms over my chest, beaming at the blond-haired maid with the brightest smile I could muster. “Aw~ thank you! That’s so sweet! I was just thinking I needed a bath!” Giggling, I fluttered my lashes at her and widened my grin. “What’s your name, miss?”

“What…?” She looked startled, but her expression quickly twisted into annoyance. “You know who I- oh. I get it.” The maid began to laugh, lifting a finger in the air and making a circular motion as she pointed at her skull. “Don’t tell me! After making yourself sick to get attention, you’re not pretending to have lost your mind?”

Smile remaining plastered on my face, I tilted my head with slightly widened eyes.

Making myself sick… for attention?

Is that the plot of this dream?

The maid smirked. “How cute. Well, not that it matters to me. Just hurry and make yourself presentable. Waste of space as you are…” Her caramel brown eyes flashed sinisterly. “The Baron should at least know his “beloved” daughter is finally awake.”

Wait, what?

My smile fell at that, alarm flooding through me at this sudden information. “The… Baron? His “beloved” daughter…?”

There’s absolutely no way. Doesn’t this sound exactly like the plot of the manga and comics I like to read, where the main character gets reborn or transported to another world after a car crash or overwork? But… I was never hit by a truck! I didn’t even have a job because of how badly my health was deteriorating! I couldn’t work even though I wanted to! I kept getting sick or having asthma attacks.

“Hah!?” Hell, that’s how I ended up in this dream!

What kind of shenanigans is this!?

…

Putting aside whether or not this was a dream… I had the feeling the Baron didn’t care for much for his daughter.

The maid that entered my room not only mocked me, but showed visible disdain towards my existence. I had no idea what “world” I was supposed to be in, but it was obvious I was being mistreated. The muddy water, the ratted dressed in my wardrobe that looked to have chewed through by rats and moths, and just the overall attitude the maid showed me and the quality of the room I seemed to be living in, made it all very clear.

There weren’t very many decent options to wear, and I was upset by the lack of pants, but there was a blue dress I really liked the design of despite it’s wear-and-tear, so I wore that over a tattered chemise. I also finished cutting my hair, and once I was done I set the scissors down and brought my hands up to feel my face, a bit disturbed by how uncanny all of this was and just how thin I had become. My cheeks were practically sunken, and the bags under my eyes were even worse than they were before I woke up here.

Either this was a nightmare led by reading too many rags-to-riches Manhwa or I had been actually spirited away somewhere. Oh, or maybe my previous life was the true dream and I had finally awoken from a years-long coma. Whatever the case, I clearly wasn't going to be having a good time living in this hellhole.

A Baron’s daughter…

That would explain the long hair and the nightgown, but if I’m supposed to be a Baron’s daughter than why the hell is everything such a mess? Why did the maid treat me so rudely?

She said… I “made myself sick”? And that I was “pretending” to have lost my mind?

Did that somehow involve the bandages I'm wrapped up in, or is she trying to gaslight me by framing me for her crimes? Because clearly I was being mistreated by the people who worked here- and maybe even the Baron himself. If this old nobility, then... am I an illegitimate child? Does he have another child, one whom was birthed by his wife- assuming he has one, and favors them more? Or is he just an asshole because I'm daughter and not a son?

Why am I even thinking about this? I let out a sigh, hanging my head. It’s just a dream.

I should be waking up soon enough.

But…

Little did I know at the time, it wasn’t a dream. I would spend the next few years here surviving, not knowing the world I was in was the world of a novel I didn’t read properly, uncertain of what was reality and what was fake. As the despised and neglected daughter of Baron Ryker, I would soon build myself a reputation as his “Mad Daughter” in just a few short weeks... and once I came of age in four years, I would finally learn the truth during my debutante-

That this was the tragic world of The Blue Jay’s Caged Rose.

By meeting the female protagonist of this world and her older brother, my reality would only grow more unstable.