Setting the phone down. I took a deep breath and had to sit down. Processing what my father and Maddox had said over the phone moments ago. I knew he was bound to call back any time here shortly. I had been the one to hang up on him when he spoke the words I never wanted to hear.
Caleb was dead.
My normally steady hands shook with the emotions that ran freely through me. I wasn't done here. I had some of my things packed, but at this rate I was ready to shove it all out on the lawn, light a match and walk away. I needed to go home to my father.
The light knocked on the door and the sound of the handle being turned. I looked up. My mother stood in the doorway, sadness on her features. Standing up, I crossed my arms, giving my mother my full attention.
“Sio, Your father called, and he filled me in, I'm so sorry.”
“I need to go home, to my father. I need to make sure Caleb is sent off well.”
“What about your stuff?”
“Burn it, give it away, find something to do with it. I'll even pay for it. But I'm going home, the soonest flight.”
“Sio, please think about this for a little before you just—--”
“I don't need to think about it. I shouldn't have even been here. A box of childhood collectibles and a few photos were what I came for. My spare suitcase has the most important things in it. I need to go home.”
“Alessio, please! You need to think about this.”
“I have, and I need to go home.”
“Alessio.”
“I'm done talking about it. I'm going home.”
She was mad, and it was easy to see why. She wanted me to stay here, even though I couldn't. I had to go back home. I had a life and a job there. Then there was the matter of Caleb.
She sighed and left my room. Not wanting to fight anymore about it. I really hadn't processed the feelings of loss and shock. But I would once I allowed myself to think about it.
Checking for the next flight back. I purchased it without so much as a second thought. I knew that I should have told my father. But it was Alexi that I texted first to make him aware. Not my father.
I got nothing back from Alexi, but that was understandable with the time difference and all. Sitting down on the bed,while it was early morning here, it was even earlier there. I felt bad that Maddox and my father had called so late.
The confirmation of the flight was emailed to me a short time later, with the date and time being today at nine p.m. I teared up at the email before me. This was not supposed to be how things went. I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye because we had been fighting. If I had known this was how it was going to be, I wouldn't have left, and if I still had to leave, I would have given him a proper goodbye. It was too late for that now.
My chest was heavy, and I knew there were going to be more tears to come. The worst of it would be when I saw him face to face. I wasn’t crying too much right now because I was still in shock.
I wouldn't have said any of the words I did before I left if I had known that would be the last time to hear his voice and see him alive. I told him how disappointed and annoyed with his behavior. I told him I was too disgusted to look at him. But I never got to tell him how much I cared about him. How despite it all, his smile was inviting and his hugs were comforting and how much I needed him.
Looking around at everything I had been slowly packing, it was all worthless to me now. Nothing more than stuff I wouldn't bring back. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I swallowed my tears. I had experienced loss before, but not like this. This was closer than that of grandfather.
My mother's voice broke through the deafening silence.
“Alessio, come eat lunch. Now.”
“Coming.”
I wasn't hungry, though. But I would still go to appease my mother. Besides, I would need to tell her about the flight and spend some time with my siblings before leaving again. Wiping my face with the sleeves of my sweater before I left the room.
Pulling out my chair, I sat down. She placed a bowl of soup in front of me and ruffled my hair before she went to grab another two bowls for my little siblings.
“Sio, Mom says you're leaving again. Why? You haven't even been here that long?”
Looking at his younger face and the sadness on it. I felt bad.
“I have to go back. I've lost someone who meant a lot to me and I have to make sure he is sent off properly.”
“I'm sorry. That must be so hard, Sio.”
My brother was fourteen, but he wasn't by any means daft. He was wise beyond his years and he knew what I meant, even though I kept it hidden under other words. Just so our youngest brother, at eight, could keep his innocent childhood longer.
“Thank you. It is hard. But I will make it through.”
“You will still honor your promise, though, right?”
“Yes, you have my word. This next summer you can come and stay with me. But only if you're good for mom.”
“I'm always good.”
“You best be. Mom has a lot on her plate, and one day you will need to take that title from mom.”
“I know. I'm keeping up with training and lessons. Though I'm not sure I'm the one who should have this position.”
“I'm just a call away if you need anything. Ok, I mean it. I will get on a plane and be here the fastest I can. And it's open for either of you two to take it. I have a position and a job with my dad. ”
“I know, Sio. I know.”
“Good.”
“Sio, Your dad? What is he like?”
I studied my soup, taking a bite before answering him.
“My dad, His name is Andrei Mihail. He is something else. Most of the time, he has been kind and accommodating. He is overprotective, and he likes to smother me. I have a cousin, Alexi. He is more like an older brother and then there's Nikki. He is Alexi’s little brother. And Nonna, she is perfect.”
“They sound nice. I can’t wait to meet them.”
“I think they would like you.”
“I do hope so!”
The table fell into silence, and we ate. I still wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to get scolded for not looking after myself by our mother. She wasn’t at the table, but I could hear her walking around, her heels on the hardwood floor clicking as she went along.
Mom was going to cry again on the way to the airport and it was going to be hard, but she knew I had to do this.
When mom finally sat at the table with her lunch, the other two kids had run off to go play video games and that gave us time to talk.
“When are you leaving?”
“Tonight. At nine p.m. It was the only flight for a few days.”
“I see. I can drive you there.”
“I appreciate that. Thank you.”
“Your father is going to have someone to pick you up from the airport? Yes?”
“Yes, I let Alexi know I was coming back.”
“I heard you tell your brother he is still welcome to come for the summer. I would like to fly him down and stay for a few days, maybe. We can make plans later for that, though.”
“Yes. I'm more than fine with all of you guys coming to visit. You just have to let me know when. Just so I can give Maddox a heads up beforehand.”
“Of course, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with Maddox. How is he treating you?”
“Maddox treats me well. He is a stellar Don. His husband is really nice too. I'm sure between Alexi and I, we have gained ten pounds. He likes to make cookies and hand them out to us.”
“He sounds pleasant. Maddox’s husband, I look forward to meeting him.”
“Yes, He really is.”
“What about the one you lost, Caleb?”
My heart nearly stopped when she spoke his name, and tears filled my eyes.
“He was great. He was patient with me. There were a lot of things he showed me. I have a key chain that he had made for me. It's on my keys at home for the office. He, um… He wasn't kind to everyone, but he was kind to me. I didn't say nice things to him before I left and I regret them.”
“Oh, Sio, I'm sorry.”
Tears flowed down my cheeks freely.
“I regret them, mom, I didn’t have time to tell him I was proud of him for getting better and god, I wish I could have given him a hug, I'll never see his smile when I say something funny or when I got excited and he couldn't understand me. He didn't know how much I still needed him. I didn't even get to tell him goodbye.”
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