Hello everyone! I'm a beginner in the English language, but even so, I want to write this book in English. If you find mistakes in this book, please forgive me and correct me! I'll do my best to grow up! Hope you like it!

Cielleha Mitsuru point of view

A musty wooden cabin was holding the piano on which I sat, lying down on my back, facing up, looking through the cracks in the roof, where the rain drips could get in without difficulty, and then falling into a fraction of a second over the floor of the boards, hitting hard on it, forming small bites between the gaps, perhaps because of the passage of the years. I didn't know how many plants and weeds had to grow on that floor the surrounded all the surrounding objects, such as ribbons of their own will, that were intended solely to strangle all the forms of matter they could encounter around. 

And perhaps more than 100 years, that cottage would be swallowed up completely by vegetation, for it was already beginning to lose its fight with nature. It was proved by the large, spiderweb sails that had closed in its corners, at the foot of abandoned sauntered saunas on the floor, or at the wiped and dropped paintings of Muggle-backed wooden eggs hanging on boards, the purpose of which had been to hold them there for everibody's sight. But like all the fine things on the ground, once you were no longer looking after them, they vanished without a trace, forgotten, and abandoned, and they lost the last bit of will and power with which they could fight. For without a conductor, not even the orchestra would sing. Even the dust on the piano and its flaps were as thick as the first layer of snow in the streets in winter. 

I rose to the bottom and ran my index finger across the surface on the piano, hoping that I would leave a long, thick track behind me, but the dust did not get on my finger, but remained intact, without slipping. Even when I was blowing towards him, at the risk of filling my face and hair with that tangled air, nothing happened. Dust was immune to anything I wanted to do. And he wasn't the only one. 

I looked up at the roof again, watching the drops of water multiplying more and more as the rain became denser. I tried to open my eyes more, hoping that the eyelids would strip me even more of the eyeballs I was looking at without blinking, not even a millisecond, and that was just to make sure I didn't have the vision. It was really raining. It's just that I didn't feel the drip on my face...

I let mu head slide down my chest and I sighed, then I touched the flaps of the piano with one hand, wishing, at least for a moment, that I could hear again those sounds that made up my favorite song, but I struggled alone, because all I had to do as a result of these gestures I was constantly making, from the moment I became aware, would only bring me great disappointment, because it was like a spear of fire piercing my soul center at the moment when I saw as clearly as my fingers went through the flaps, between them, and I felt nothing. I didn't even feel the surface of the piano beneath me, the smells around it or anything else. 

All I had left was my emotions. And I would have only wanted them to disappear rather than be forced to live in such situations. 

When I felt an energy approach, I turned my gaze to the wall on the table to my right, watching my companion slipping, like a ghost that was, directly next to me, sitting next to me, on my right piano. Even though I had done this dozen of times, I still couldn't get used to the fact that I saw how a person's silhouette could pass through a wall, and at that moment it had a more transparent body, its shape becoming much tinner and longer, like a python that blends perfectly on the object chosen for exploration. 

My comrade rolled his eyes at me, and then he began staring insistently as if he were staring at me. He clasped his hand across his chest and the black cloak that enveloped his body began to flutter in a menacing manner behind him, offering himself as a support for his aura for that moment, which gave me a feeling of discomfort in the chest area. 

"Cielleha", he said. "It's been 4 months since you became aware of yourself and you still don't leave this cottage..." 

I sighed again, and then I gave a short grin in the corner of my mouth.

"Ghosts should be around cemeteries in this forest, right? Where their place is." 

He looked at me for a long time, and then he frowned at me. 

"You say that, but you're still shocked by anything you can't touch. This frustrates you, frightens you and you cannot accept it! And yet you continue to stay here because this is where the ghost should be? It is more than visible that you don't want to accept this fact, so why do you keep clinging to this place?!"

His words were like a whirlwind soaked in a revolt that rose from my stomach, exploding in its path through my whole body, to the area of my brain, where the part responsible for controlling my emotions was activated. Without even realizing it, I threw a fistful at the piano flaps. And even though my first loaded with force and fury passed through it, the intensity of energy could be felt around me, and my friend moved a few inches away from my field of vision, displaying an astonished grin. 

"What do you want me to do?!" I suddenly screamed. 

If my voice could also be heard from the surrounding life, and if the material things could perceive the intensity of the sound in my voice, the planks would probably have cracked, and the rabbits and squirrels around the cottage would have fled to the cemeteries in closeness, especially since we were in the middle of the night, where the vibration of each sound seemed to become much more intense, but not in a positive sense. All the time the sounds were more pleasant or frightening at night than during the day. 

For the night for me was like an unseen world, descending from another dimension, from another world, where the dense and invisible nets of the eart were detaching, leaving room for the dark arts to penetrate the earth, leaving the dominant stillness to they were waiting on every man and life, invinting you to align yourself with your being, to be present and to allow the creations to manifest. I was beginning to wonder if somehow the evil spirits of the night made people have such a rich imagination, in which they imagined their monsters, goblins, distorted mystical creatures, demons or huge and frightening creatures. Maybe those things in the darkness just projected on the screen of their mind, whispering that they exist. Like some extraterrestrials who leave only clues, until they would visit us. It was as if they were preparing us early. 

I placed a palm on my forehead, mimicking, by reflex, that gesture with my two fingers with which I massaged myself at the two points on the forehead, near the eyebrows, whenever I had an internal conflict. I was probably starting to get mad. 

"If you still had a physical body, you would have destroyed those flaps..."

I ignored him. 

"Where do you want me to go Kamellon?!" I screamed again. "If I go to town I'll be mad! So it is terrible to have this piano alongside me and I cannot touch it. Imagine how I would feel if I could see all the things I love and I couldn't touch them, smell them, taste them..."

I kept my eyes away from his green eyes because I didn't want him to see my face at the moment. I didn't want to see my face either. And I couldn't see it. I couldn't see my face even in the huge muzzle under the piano. I couldn't see it in the mirror either. 

Fuck!

"I guess that's the case when you leave this world when you're eighteen," he said. " I left it, in theory, after I turned fifty."

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye among the blue-blue hair sections, the color I had used while I had been alive to paint my natural blond hair, which had given me a touch of pale-cloth before, especially since I had pretty feminine characteristics for a boy. And I wanted a change after the age of age, a change that I had not managed to enjoy as I wanted. But Kamellon didn't have the appearance of a man of cynicism for decades, but of a kit of my age. And neither he nor I knew why this had happened. Why am I unchanged?

Kamellon kept talking, and I just listened quietly. And as poetic and sentimental as he was talking, the bats in the caves behind the hut would probably have listened to him. 

"I had a troubled childhood whit my many friends' packs, and I was playing outside in the morning until late at night, ignoring my mother's screams when she saw me coming home with my dusty clothes and my father's beatings when I stole the money from his wallet to by bracelets for girls in primary school. Later, I had many women with whom I had fun, I had a lot of money and I had a lot of late parties in clubs, with to this world, so I can walk around the city without feeling any anger. But if I had left it at eighteen, I probably would have been as foolish as you..." 

"Would you please not turn it into a drama? We still exist on earth."

"But without his physical body and his senses through which you can experience this world. And who knows how long we can stay on earth? Maybe we will be taken somewhere else..." 

I sighed. 

"Did you come here to get me into depression?" 

"Actually, I came to get you out of it. I came to tell you again and again and again the same story... Until I make you come with me to the city." 

I glanced skeptically at him, then I rolled my eyes. 

"Don't come back to me with that story", I said in an irritated tone. "That legend, with that weird name... that, that was... the table..."

He looked me in the eye, transmitting to me at the moment perhaps the highest dose of seriousness a spirit could feel - seriousness that would have shaken me from all my joints if I had a psyhical body. 

"The ghosts table", he said the words clearly and rarely. 

I swallowed dry, remaining a little surprised by his attitude. I think it was the first time I saw him so serious about that legend he never got bored of telling me, every month, before the day it was going to take place. 

"I told you before and I repeat it. I don't want to have to deal with that", I said. 

He raised an eyebrow. 

"Even if that meant, for at least half an hour or an hour, you could again have a physical body with all five senses activated? Thik, on the eight - the symbol of infinity - of each month, you have the opportunity yo live again as a living person. Isn't that what you want? It looks like you'd give anything for it every time you look at the piano..." 

"But not in those circumstances..." 

"Do the circumstances matter in the situation you are in right now?  Cielleha, the circumstances under which you can feel again should be null and void in your current situation. Just think about how many people are paralyzed in life, deaf, dumb or blind and would give anything for a moment to feel, gear, speak of see, And you are offered a chance again. One chance every month, something that those people I listed are never offered in life and maybe not in the next... And you refuse because of the circumstances? You're crazy?"

I frowned, and after a long silence, I said:

"Pride doesn't leave me... I was still a..." 

"Give it the hell of pride! he yelled, interrupting me. Pride is for people and the upper class, you are not one anymore!"

I looked at him without saying anything. 

"I didn't want to sound that way". he said. He sighed, then he continued: "The idea is that pride should not happen here. Cielleha, who the hell could judge you?! Your inmates probably still see their school. They would certainly not pinch themselves to come downtown and see the ghosts table with their eyes in the hope that they would see you there. And most people don't believe n this legend. Only those with a large enough spiritual opening can see that space with their eyes open!"

I wanted to stick my fingers on the surface of the piano just to distract myself from the thoughts of uneasiness and the feeling of insecurity that gripped my heart. Thinking about the stressful, simple and insignificant life I had...

"I don't want to lose my virginity like that. " 

Kamellon hit his temple with his palm, groaning long. 

"Why, all the time, you teenagers, you dramatize things so much? Cielleha, if you were thirty, you would realize that you don't lose anything, it's just the beginning of something that can be good or bad, but that doesn't mean it can't be improved. Think of your virginity as the invention of the electric bulb. It took a lot of trying to get it right. Besides, if you were thirty, you woulld realize that you have nothing to lose, but only to choose to live and earn something. You can't be used if you want to do something. Tou can't be humiliated unless you feel you are. But probably my words can't yet reach such a young and immature ear... Believe me, the most important thing on earth, despite all the bad situations that you think you think might happen, is to give you life! Only you cand know what you need to live to grow up, not all have the same path, and it's impossible to do so, and that is why you don't have to comply with the expectations and rules of those around you an to regain your wishes. 

"Whises...?" 

My whisper made Kamellon smile. 

"You want to feel again, at least for a while?" 

"Yes", I've half-mouth recognized. 

"And what does this pride say, which doesn't let you go further and fulfill your desire?"

The words of my parents, my older sisters, teachers and those who generally represented strong and authoritarian faces with great influence in high society were carried out on the screen of my mind. It was as though that collective thinking was stored in my brain, like a net over the desires that burned in the deepest undercoats of my inner being. 

And my greatest desire at that moment was to feel, no matter how I could do it!

"I tell you what's preventing you. The beliefs are taken from others and the fear of not being tried... Damn you! If you want someone to accept you unconditionally even after that, I'm here!"

After a long sielence I said:

"How do you know... ghosts table... really exists?"

"Come with me in the city on the eight of this month, in the city center, and you'll see your own eyes!"