I met my ex around 6 years ago. Our indie band Cable Jump had already been on tour on a major label for two years and we were still on top of the world. I was the youngest in the band and somehow the most mature. Everyone else was at least 3 years older than me and I was definitely the mom of the group, cleaning up after their intoxicated asses. Almost every night the guys would party well into the morning hours, surrounded by booze, drugs, and girls. And I would be the wallflower that made sure they didn’t die.
It’s pretty crazy to think that now those same irresponsible man children are functioning adults with wives and children. They even have their own side businesses and companies that they run.
I was a senior in high school when I joined the band. I saw a local band needed a drummer online and I signed up to audition. They hired me on the spot, and a few months later we were scouted while playing at a festival in Los Angeles. We released our first album when I was only 19 and our songs immediately started playing on the radio.
Traveling to a new city every night became commonplace. Trying out new restaurants, meeting new people. Fans hanging around you at shows, worshiping you. Don’t get me wrong, most drummers don’t get as much attention as the singer or guitarist but I still got my fair share of fan girls and fan boys. I didn’t mind fading into the background most the time. Going out in public being unrecognized in Los Angeles is a blessing. You don’t see my face often in tabloids. Because no one really cares what the drummer of Cable Jump does with his life.
I guess I should tell you about the band members. Jonathan is the lead singer and guitarist. He was the glue that connected us all. And of course charming with all the ladies. He’s now married to his wife Anna, has two daughters, and started his own clothing brand that makes t-shirts, hoodies, and snapbacks.
Then there’s Ray. Our Bassist and backup vocalist. He used to get so wasted, loud, and definitely is the most confrontational. But he’s calmed down a lot. The guy was a natural comedian and the best bassist I’ve ever met He’s now well into his thirties, married, and expecting his third child with his girlfriend.
And lastly there’s Ian, our rhythm guitarist. Ian was mostly quiet like me, but definitely smoked the most pot. We would stay up late together and have the most philosophical conversations. He’s three years older than me, and him and his longtime girlfriend are due to have their first baby this year.
And then there’s me. Casey Murad. Drummer for Cable Jump. I’m a first generation Arab American, youngest of three, and have been playing drums nonstop since I was in 5th grade. My parents were not exactly thrilled with the idea of me skipping college to be a musician at first, but once they knew it was the real deal, they were proud that I was successful and followed my dreams. I’m 27 years old now and feel like all I have is my music career.
Our band has been on hiatus for almost two years now. And although I am happy for my fellow bandmates I am dying to go on tour again. To get my mind off my ex. To keep playing music, because drumming is basically my identity. I’ve found a few gigs filling in for other bands here and there, but nothing ongoing.
I guess I should explain exactly how I met my ex. Like I mentioned, we were on the road for a good two years and we just released our second album. I had just turned 21 and could finally drink legally in the states. So the guys of course were handing me shots and beers left and right. To be fair, I was already drinking well before my 21st birthday, but now I could join them at clubs and bars. We just started touring with a band called The Devices that were relatively unknown at the time and they came out with us to celebrate. Being the sober one most of the time (or at least the soberest) was what I was used to. But that night I had to rely on my irresponsible shitfaced bandmates and strangers from another band to make sure I wouldn’t end up dead in a ditch.
Regardless, I was having a good time. I tossed shots aside when they weren’t looking. I didn’t mind being drunk, just not blackout drunk. I liked being in control and I couldn’t help but notice that the lead singer of The Devices kept hanging around me. Maybe it was just because I was the birthday boy after all, but I didn’t want to do or say anything stupid if I blacked out. I definitely didn’t want to end up telling him how handsome I thought he was. How I badly wanted to push his hair out of his eyes. Or tell him that he had such a beautiful deep voice. Or that I definitely didn’t watch his set every night attentively from backstage.
His name was Chase. What a perfect name for a guy like him, I thought. A guy I’d always be chasing after and felt like I may never reach.
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