Have you ever had that moment where you just felt… stuck? Theoretically, you can move, you can go do things but you just can't bring yourself to do them. It's like going bungee jumping over a cliff. The moment before feels awful, dreadful even, and you question yourself if you're even going to do it. Well, now I'm at the cliff, no, I'm not even near the cliff, I'm at the bottom of the mountain trying to get the motivation to climb up.

Now that you've gotten to know my mental state, Hi! I'm Fifi Jeong, a now sixteen year old sitting on my bed looking at the dirty floor I refuse to clean while contemplating my life. I was tapping my heel against the floor and wondering why I still haven't bought myself a new pair of shoes. They were worn out and dirty, I don't think even a good clean could fix them. Besides, they were like a size too small for me. So why haven't I gotten a new pair? Oh right, the mountain.

Sitting there all alone with sweat running down my neck, my newly cut hair stuck to the side of my cheek from the moisture. I knew time was ticking and I couldn't sit there forever. It became harder and harder to take a breath as my heel tapping became faster. The voices from downstairs echoed through my mind as I clutched the side of my bed as tightly as I could. Just the same ramblings repeated in my mind.

No, no, I really- I really can't. Not today- I can't do this-

Immediately as the door to my bedroom opened I jumped up, bag in hand and gave the best smile I possibly could: "Ready?"

I knew it was Philip. How? He is the only one in the house that hasn't learned to knock yet. He was so used to having male foster kids over that he would constantly forget to knock. The first time I was annoyed, the second time I knocked on his face, the third time I just accepted it. It was just a matter of time before he had to learn the hard way, aka. walk in on me doing something even a jock like him didn't want to see.

He stared at me for a moment while scratching the back of his neck. Somehow during winter break he had another growth spurt and was now a few centimetres taller than before. Including his wavy dark hair, pretty hazel eyes and body build he was the talk of the town for anyone that was into his XY chromosome.

"Don't you want breakfast?", he mumbled, still a bit suspicious of me.

I quickly put on my backpack and walked passed him as I gave my best excuse: "Free breakfast at school, dude."

It wasn't a lie. Ever since we've gotten that democratic extremist principal we've basically gotten everything we wanted, including free breakfast. This week there will be a vote on if we want an additional break during the day. I wonder how the students will vote.

The walk to school was as normal as it got. Him just talking about sports, music and of course, a particular someone that shall not be named.

The air was still cold in town. The little moments where the sun peaked through the clouds were just like a small glimpse into the start of spring. I couldn't wait for the rest of the cold snow to melt away in the lukewarm warmth of a somewhat warm season that is spring.

I also couldn't wait to finally stop wearing Philip's hoodie under my green jacket. Don't get me wrong, it was really cosy, but no matter how many times you washed that thing it still smelled like a teenage boy.

Suddenly, I heard someone running behind us and then saw Rudoslav jump up and grab Philip by his shoulders, scaring him.

"What are you now? 183 [6 ft]? ", Rudoslav laughed while dramatically looking up at Philip. I couldn't help but smile when seeing these two together, they were always so happy to goof around with each other.

Philip just lightly patted his head while smiling: "You wish."

Rudoslav looked surprised for a moment and scanned Philip with his eyes, almost like he was trying to guess his actual height. He spewed out a height that was off by lot and Philip just looked over at me, not really believing Rudoslav actually believed he was that tall. But him looking over to me made Rudoslav aware of me.

I managed to smile and say a little: "Hi."

His smile slowly faded as he coldly replied with a: "Hey"

Soon after he started walking next to Philip on his other side. Making Philip a wall between us. It didn't really surprise me. After what happened at the winter ball he had been quietly blaming me for everything. I got it, I dragged everyone into that weird mess. I was actually surprised more people didn't hate me. But after about a month of him behaving like that it had gotten really tiring. Worst part was I had no idea how to make it up to him. How would you even make up to someone almost getting them killed by ancient vampires?

I just tried being as kind as possible, that's how. That's what my mom told me to do. No, really. Ever since the court allowed her to call me I somehow manage to dump all my problems on her. With him she told me to "Stay kind and give him time". Okay, maybe she didn't say try to be as kind as possible but it wasn't like I was nice to him to begin with. So, to stay kind I actually need to start to be kind in the first place.

Looking back at the guys they were still talking about Philip's height. Is that really so important to them?

"Okay, how tall are you, actually?"

"Dude-", Philip didn't even get a word in before Rudoslav interrupted him: "Seriously, I want to know!"

Was that like… in the bro code to tell each other their heights? Nevertheless Rudoslav sounded pretty desperate and I wanted to get on his good side, so I quickly jumped in.

"He's 187 [6'2 ft]."

"Awesome.", he lightly hit Philip on the shoulder.

Philip just looked over at me. Once again, suspicious for a moment but then annoyed. He probably figured I did that because I wanted to annoy him… which annoyed him.

The town square didn't change at all since I last saw it. The old cramped buildings entwined with empty winter branches and wet ice still stood. Shops were still somehow busy with the same customers. Even though it was a small town at the end of winter walking through it didn't feel like it. That's one thing that I couldn't say was bad about living out of the city. The town may have been tiny in comparison but it still managed to be more vibrant and well, had a soul, somehow.

Walking down the empty morning halls of the school didn't feel any different either. Sure, we had a new principal but that's about it. I don't know what I expected, it's been three days since winter break ended but I still somehow anticipated a big change to happen. But it didn't.

As I walked up the stairs a voice suddenly called out behind me. Lola. She still looked like a popular girl with her trendy clothes and wide fake smile. Her very long red hair tied into two braids like always. She quickly walked up to me at the stairs and smiled:

"Hey, do you need help?"

I blinked. Help? With what? I wasn't even carrying anything. We both looked at each other for a moment before she finally realized I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Because of your leg.", she added.

While glancing down at my leg I couldn't help but chuckle. Right, my leg. It was probably my mistake for grabbing onto the railing while going up the stairs. My injury was bad but it wasn't that bad.

I quickly said, while still chuckling a little: "Oh, no. I'm fine. It's practically healed."

That was a lie, but I didn't need any more pity or concern from people. I got enough of it from Philip's parents.

"Oh, that's great!", she smiled then paused. Just as I thought she was going to leave she added: "By the way, It's good to see you again."

Wow, okay, hearing that felt really weird to my ears, it even made me flinch a little. Thinking she would pull the carpet underneath me I stayed silent at first. But once she didn't add anything else I realized she was being genuine.

Still being a bit surprised I managed to murmur: "Um… it's good to see you too."

And then she just happily walked off to her classroom. That whole interaction was really awkward. I knew that things between us were a bit weird from what happened but damn… I didn't think it would be that painful to talk to her again.

Anyhow, I regretfully went to class. A part of me was glad to see that a particular someone wasn't there when I walked in. Probably organizing stuff with the new principal or something. I just sat down and hours flew by. First lesson, then second. then third. It was all a big blur. I couldn't really focus on anything the teachers were saying so why even bother trying to listen.

Lunch passed by, still didn't eat anything, and then fourth lesson; Additional classes. I didn't choose anything thinking the teachers would just forget me and not assign me anything and they actually did. Until the new principal came and assigned me one at "random", which meant the one that had the least students in it. Which was, in this case, Environmental Studies.

Usually I would just skip it, but… I was just too tired that day.

Walking in proved me right. There were barely any students there. Ten at most. The classroom was also smaller than the rest, so even with so little students there there weren't many places to sit left. I scanned the room for some non annoying looking person to sit next to. I didn't find any since, you know they picked environmental studies as an additional lesson, which meant they all looked like extreme vegans or nerds or pretty girls trying to look smart.

I just sat down in the back next to a pretty girl. I didn't really have the energy to make someone run to another seat. At least I was somewhat glad I got a window seat… until it started to look like it was going to rain.

I think the lesson started a few minutes later, I'm not sure, I wasn't really listening. Just looking outside as small water drops started falling from the dark grey sky. I'm not sure why but to me it felt like the universe was telling me it hates me.

The sound of the classroom door slamming shut made me flinch. Someone walked in, someone new. Someone I didn't recognized. Our school was tiny and just from being there a few months I basically knew everyone already, so it was strange seeing a stranger. A new kid maybe?

"Take a seat.", the teacher wasn't mad, not even annoyed.

Yeah, the kid was definitely new and… different. The long blond unkept wolf cut and worn out dark purple poncho made them look like they lived in the woods or something. The fact they had two small leaves in their hair and mud on their high boots made it seem even more possible. Everything they had looked handmade too, even their brown bag was clearly stitched together.

They huffed for air as the teacher continued with the lesson, but I still wasn't listening. The late kid scanned the room like I did before, there were plenty of empty seats left.

Somehow it seemed like I wasn't the only one not listening to the lesson anymore, almost everyone was giving the new kid secret glances and looks. When their eyes got to the back of the class we shortly made eye contact. I usually wouldn't admit to something like that but from that small moment when our eyes met I felt my heart skip a beat. Yeah, they definitely had something about them to make everyone curious.

But whatever, not like I haven't seen a pretty person before. I looked back at the window. They will pick a seat eventually, I didn't have to stare at them while they did it.

"Can I have this seat?", their scratchy, yet calming voice pierced my ears.

I turned to see the new kid talking to… the girl next to me.