I wrote the very first draft of this story when I was 15 years old. I was a sophomore in High School and had nothing better to do, so I decided to try and write a book. I had tried before but always ended up losing inspiration or not having enough time. But this time I felt confident that I had plenty of both. It took me a month to fill up a 72-page spiral with this story. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing, so my parents were beginning to wonder what I was doing from the moment I got home from school to when I went to bed. When I finally finished I knew that it needed editing from a non-biased source...so I went to the internet. It took me a week to type up the whole thing on the computer, but it was well worth it. I posted it on every creative writing forum I could find, but the site that I always got the most constructive feedback from was Writing.com. With all those reviewers' help...I've managed to turn a 15-year-old's boredom into a novel in the works. I'm now in college and still am working on revising this and writing a sequel. I'd like to have it published eventually, but am well aware that it needs a lot more work to get there. If you choose to review it, if possible try to make a note of any grammatical errors you see...this thing has become so massive I don't have the time to go through and proof the whole piece! Anyway, thank you to those who have read, are reading, or are about to start The One I Loathe....your reviews mean more to me than you'll ever know.
Please read and enjoy,
It was the perfect summer day. The sun brightened and warmed everything in its way. Sounds of laughing children filled the air as two families enjoyed their picnic in the park.
Four young kids were playing on a playground that resembled a castle. The two sets of parents watched casually from their picnic table as they caught up with their old friends.
The children giggled wildly as they played their traditional game.
“I’m the evil Lord Willimizer!” screamed the tallest blonde boy, “I’ve come to take princess Sophie prisoner!”
He grabbed the little curly-haired blonde girl and “locked” her in the tallest turret of the castle. On cue, the little girl cried, “Oh, who will save me?” feigning her agony.
Suddenly, a dark haired boy ran up to the castle, and was followed by a little girl toddler pretending to be a horse. “Don’t fear, Princess Sophie! It is I, sir Trent, Knight of the round table, and protector of damsels in distress.”
While the little princess squealed in delight, The “Evil Willimizer” ran from his post at the top of the tower and challenged the young knight to a duel. The two boys fought bravely with their sticks as weapons, and in the end, like always, the young knight won. Then, he ran up to the turret of the princess and set her free.
“Oh, brave knight, what can I ever do to thank you?” the princess coed.
“Your safety is thanks enough, 'milady, ” He returned with a bow.
The two children gazed at each other for a few minutes, but were interrupted by the whiney toddler wanting to be the princess.
The perfect summer day passed until the sunset marked it as only a memory. The curly-haired girl and dark-haired boy were sitting in the sandbox when their mothers came up to them and told them it was time to leave. The pair reluctantly rose and climbed out of the sandbox.
“What were the two of you talking about, anyway?” asked a mother.
The girl giggled and the boy smiled but neither said a word. Then, without anyone seeing, the little boy leaned over and kissed the girl on the cheek.