The only thing I could hear right now is the beeping of a hospital machine. I feel groggy and it sucks to even try to move my body. There is tubes in my arm and body, opening my eyes I see the hospital bedroom ceiling. Tapping my fingers weakly on my thighs, I remember why I am in a hospital room. I deserve it of course, and you must be wondering why I am in here. Well it might have had something to do with me cheating on my wife, lying to my family, or all the above.

It started back in June, it was a blistering day when my wife found me having an affair, I was thrown out of the house, and she divorced me. She couldn’t forgive me since she thought I wasn’t that kind of person, and never thought I would ever commit such an act. I didn’t try to fight and left letting her have the last word, which echoes in my mind every day at least once or more. “I thought we were… we were supposed to be together until the end!!” she weakly cried out while breathing hard with her heart crushed. I left without saying anything as the stare of my friends and family looking at me with disgust; I was broken at that point but I still had things to do.

Days after my best friend came and talk to me about it, of course he knew all along about the affair. He was there with me from the start, he wanted to stop me but he couldn’t and in the end, he just helped me out covering it from my wife. There was a lot of thing he could have had done to stop me but he knew that it would all be in vain. Because he knew how stubborn of a person I was.

“Most of you now probably thinks why this asshole is telling us a story about him cheating on his wife, I probably deserve a good ass kicking but just hear me out OK, it all started 11 months ago.”

It was my 15th year anniversary with my wife Vanessa Kwon, we met in high school and started dating after getting to know each other. We got married at 22 because she got pregnant, and I wanted to take responsibility. We were still kids in my parent’s eyes, not wanting us to have a life full of regrets, because the choice of keeping or aborting the child would be filled with regrets, thought that the best thing to do was for us to get married. They were willing to take care of our child until we got a hold on our life. We both agreed upon it because simply we were inseparable at the time and didn’t want to lose our new bundle of joy.

We got married in the summer of June, we had a small gathering of our closes friends and families except hers. Her parents didn’t like her daughter dating me and when they found out she got pregnant they disowned her. Still on our wedding day the most important thing to us at the time was we were finally going to be husband and wife. When she walked down the aisle with her older brother, Jason, I was stunned. How can someone so beautiful be in my life, I knew right there that whatever I do I must always bring happiness to this woman.

6 months passed by quickly in our marriage, and before we knew it my wife gave birth to our lovely daughter, Trish McKeon. With my mother and father willing to raise Trish, it gave me and Vanessa a chance to finish college. She went into education while I went into accounting. Ever since I knew her, she was amazing at teaching others and that is how we met. I went onward to accounting because at the time I didn’t know what I wanted to do and accounting was a bridge-way to other job choices later in life, or so from what one of my professors said.

After a successful marriage of two year we had a son who we named Kennon. Having these two children were the best gift my wife has ever given me beside marrying me. They all brighten my days and I am always eager to come home to see their smiling faces. I never thought the day that those brilliant smile would disappear from my life.

Now I could have had handled things differently, but sometimes the male ego goes overboard and overthink to much. I thought I was going to make everything work out in the end. Where my family would be left in the dark, and only find out when I have a chance to move on. I didn’t expect the ceiling of my deceit to come falling on me because of my careless emotions. Still when it did crash and burn it gave her and my family some closure to why I did what I did; was it a good reason at all, probably not. And it is the only thing I did wrong in this endeavor.