Bert regretted going into accountancy.
Nothing says boring and useless more than an accountant in the middle of a wilderness.
Especially when said accountant had no wild living survival skills whatsoever. Sure, he could cook, he could cook amazingly well, in fact. But all that depended on a stove, working electricity and his non-stick pans.
What was a sad accountant doing in the middle of a forest anyway?
One moment, he was at the edge of a noisy stage, trying not be noticed by a screaming crowd of Twee Light fans who were energetically chanting Lucinda Mavis’ name.
His role on the stage was simple, just stand there and stare morosely at everything. Roberta had said the character fit him like a glove. It should, she was the one who made the costume after all. Roberta Roberts was an avid Cosplayer, a hardcore anime fan, a serious otaku, a worshipper at the altar of the Twee Light Saga.
She was the one who had dressed him up, threatened him onto the stage and was now whipping the crowd into a frenzy with her Lucinda Mavis’ impersonation.
Bert really wanted to go home.
Instead, he was stuck on stage as an extra prop for her Lucinda Mavis performance. Thankfully, that was all over now. They were actually at the after party part of the performance where free dancing and wild screaming was on the cards. Bert had been quietly edging away from ever since the screaming had started.
If Roberta looked for him, he’d tell her he’s being in character.
Erik Moonblood would never be so undignified as to scream and shout on stage. He’s a lurker, kind of like Bert, but with super powers.
Bert was on the verge of escaping this whole madness when a sudden rush of people thundered onto the stage screaming enthusiastically at Lucinda Mavis. Bert was accidentally bumped off by a particularly heavy set rear end.
As he hurtled towards a bank of speakers and sharp looking props. As he sailed through the air he mentally calculated his insurance payout…
…it turned out he had plenty of time to calculate his insurance, since the fall seemed to go on forever. Time slowed to a crawl. He could see beads of sweat flying like transparent beans from the brow of the rabid fans. See the growing dust clouds mushroomed up from their stamping feet. At one point, he saw sound wave distort the air as the speakers hit the Twee Light chorus.
Rah! Rah! Moon!
The cold bloody boom!
The sound wave touched him, and everything sped up to a point of light.
The next thing he knew, he was face to face with an angry duck.