I think… I blanked out for a moment. Where am I? I…

My body feels slack, drained of energy. Scraping my fingernail against the ground beneath, it’s rough and dry. I’d always been able to see beyond what my eyes could, but for once I’m blind. It’s almost as if I cannot properly control my divinity anymore. Chaotic and uncontrollable, like when lightning hits a puddle and the surface is disrupted by something unseen. The air’s heavy, stuffy, and the ground in which I lay hard and cold, yet comforting.

“Mayari!”

Ah. That’s right. I’m… I’m dying. Something bubbles in my throat, an attempted laugh at my foolish state, but all that sputters out is a croak and liquified tissue. It’s spilling out now, along with the heat of my blood pooling from the hole in the middle of my ribs. My divinity isn’t healing it, meaning…

… this, is how it ends.

“Mayari, May…”

A dull clinking of iron, and the coldness of thick fabric gloves lined with metal carefully slides under my neck. So cautious, as if handling glass that could break at any impulse. It doesn’t take much effort, just the vague movement of the eyes to catch a glimpse of that familiar helmet that completely covers their face.

“So that’s… your voice, huh?” I want to smile. At the very end, I want it to at least be the last thing they see of me. Not this, not my color draining with the crimson staining into my dress. But it’s so much, so much effort just to open my mouth. It’s hot, yet my clammy skin feels cold with sweat. Their body stiffens a bit, and I can see them swallow something down their throat.

“That’s… not, important! Shit, there—there’s so much blood…!”

Their speech stutters vaguely, and is so quiet with a low, painful, raspiness that does not lean to either femininity nor masculinity. Everything I knew about them was an enigma, but that’s also a part of them that I love, isn’t it?

The weight of time begins to dawn on me, finally, my eyes stinging as it becomes harder to even breathe. I can feel my throat fill with bitter iron, lurching forward just to cough it up. Oh. Please, Surya, just a bit more time. My insides coat my mouth and fall down the corners of my lips with a scorching heat. I can’t even lift a finger anymore, it seems. With the life I’ve lived, when I left for this journey, the only thought I had was that I wanted to die. But now, laying here with not even a moment left to spare, I find myself clinging to the little life I have left.

My eyes lift to search that shadowy slit between the helmet they wear just so I can just barely meet with those comforting sun kissed eyes that shine through the darkness. It takes every bit of energy I have just to attempt to lift my hand, searching for something. Quickly, they catch it and grip around it softly. Gloved fingers link between mine, carefully. For a moment, I think back to that fantasy of those free and endless fields full of their people’s laughter, and a place where the sun is always shining.

I wanted to live that future with you.

“Shivani, I…” My voice is caught up in my throat, mixed with blood and saliva. I find myself hiccuping through the heat that falls down my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Shivani. I don’t think we can… live together, anymore.”

Their grip around my hand tightens slightly, trembling.

“Don’t speak, speak like that-t…!” A deep and mellow mix of anger and utter despair pierces through. Every word that leaves their mouth is barely audible, but filled with such agonizing emotions that sting my eyes. My vision blurs and I can feel the coldness consume my body. A high pitched sound begins to ring in my ears as the world slowly drowns away. Through the silence, Shivani’s voice continues with stutters, though I cannot make them out any longer.

“… Sorry, what… was that…? I couldn’t hear… your voice… clear…”

The sun dies, and I’m drowning in darkness once again.