My friend in college invited me to a Christmas party. She said that it will be our college reunion and everyone seems available.
"Well, this is hopeless. Here goes nothing."
I arrived at the location and starts walking towards the party.
Elizabeth was my classmate until we graduate.
She was a great help when I was doing my thesis.
As I approaching Elizabeth's house, I saw a woman whose hand is waving.
"Hey, Peter. How are you! It's been years since I got contact with you."
"Well, you know me. I'm not a kind of person who is good at socializing. I'm not good in people."
"Don't say that! You're just shy. Anyway, everyone's here. Come inside."
"Don't worry, I'll stay here. I might spoil the fun."
"No, you won't. Come on, don't be shy. We missed you."
I accept Elizabeth's offer and come inside her house.
The house is full of Christmas decorations.
The Christmas lights were sparkling like fireworks in the room.
The Christmas tree is fully decorated and there's a plenty of gifts under it.
I sat in the chair which is on the corner and start watching them.
Their eyes were sparkling with happiness.
They are also full of energy.
I open my bag and to get the book which I love to read. But before that happens, Elizabeth approach me and saying.
"You are going to read again?"
"Yes, because I love reading."
"In this kind of atmosphere? C'mon Peter, talk to everyone. They are our classmates."
"I'm afraid you know. But, if they approach me and talk to me. I'm willing to talk to them."
"You know what, it's really hard to persuade you."
"Hehe..."
She remains silent for a few minutes and starts talking again.
"Hey... Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No, I don't have. But thanks for believing that I can have one."
"Of course you can..."
"I believe I can't. I'm not a nice person."
"Love is not about personality, it's about acceptance."
"But personality has a great part when it comes to love."
"You can change."
"I can't. You know what happened to us. You know what I did to you."
"Are you still thinking about that? That's 5 years ago. Please, move one."
"Even though it was horrible?"
"Yes."
Before, I open my mouth and starts talking. An unfamiliar man approaches us and starts talking cheerfully.
"Hey, Is that Peter you're always talking to me?"
"Oh yes, honey. Peter, this is Fred. My boyfriend."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Fred."
"Nice to meet you too. I'm Peter. I was Elizabeth's classmates. She was helping me a lot with my studies when I was in college. She's a nice girl."
"Yes, she is. I'm glad that I've met her. We met at work. She helps me with a lot of stuff. I fell in love and I decided to confess my feelings to her. It was a huge success!"
"I'm glad that you met her and she got a great and dependable boyfriend."
"Thanks! How about you? Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Nah, that thought never about that."
"Why? Love can change your life. Don't be shy, I knew a lot of friends who are introvert like you. Of course, they are girls. Just try, they might like you."
"Thanks, but still I have to refuse."
"But..."
Elizabeth interrupts Fred before he speaks.
"Honey, it's ok. Maybe got his reasons. Just give him a time."
"Sure honey, Hey Peter. If there's a girl you interested with. I'm here. I'm going to help you."
"Sure thing."
Several hours passed and midnight is approaching. The atmosphere is not changing. Everyone's still partying while I'm still here, reading my book.
I pause my reading and watch my surroundings.
I saw Elizabeth and Fred talking, laughing and kissing.
Some of our classmates approach them and start talking.
I said to myself:
After all, it is nice to have a girlfriend.
I'll try to have one someday. Has the same personality as me. Someone who loves books and to read.
It's already 2 am when the party ended.
I'm drunk because I was forced by Elizabeth and Fred.
"Hey Peter, can you still walk?"
"Yes, I can."
"Is this your first time to drink?"
"Yes, but don't worry. I can still manage."
"Don't force yourself. You can stay here."
"Sorry, but I can't. I must leave."
"Ok, sure. Take care!"
As I leave Elizabeth's house.
I start walking and try not to get stumble because my head is dizzy.
I walk and make sure no one is following me.
I walk and I walk through the thickness of the snow.
I walk and I walk until I reach the deepest part of the forest.
I stop and start lying down on the thickness of snow.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Killing some time."
The voice is shaking and continues to speak.
"This is not I want Peter!"
"But this is what I want."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I want peace."
"Peace? What do you mean peace? There's another way to gain peace."
"But, this the only way I know."
She starts to cry and explaining things to me.
"Peter, I loved you. I really loved you way back. Please don't do this to me."
"Sorry, I'm really hopeless. It's hopeless. I've done horrible things to you. I was cold and dumb. Now, time makes me realize how stupid I am. It cannot be stopped, it haunts me every day. Every night, it's hard for me to sleep."
"Peter, please stop. I and Fred will help you. Even your classmates are willing to help."
"This is a point of no return Elizabeth. But still, I'm happy. You found a most dependable and kind person. I am at peace now."
The sky is really dark, but still, I'm happy.
The snow starts to fall and Elizabeth is still there.
"Elizabeth, please bury me in the snow."
"No..."
"Elizabeth, I want you to be happy."
"Me too, Peter."
"Sorry, but I have to say this. Please leave me now. You have a beautiful life. Fred will get worried."
"But.."
I gather all the remaining force that I have and stand.
I smile, I show her the smile that she never saw me before.
"Let's leave before the snow storm arrives."
She agreed and we both start walking.
We walk and we walk through the thickness of the snow.
We walk and we walk through the darkness of the night
She walks and she walks until I buried myself in the snow.
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