Voices in the dark she screamed as we gave her a 3rd dose of Thorazine. We make nothing of these screams because we hear them all the time. Since this is the beginning of my 15th year here, i'm well adjusted. The new guy has had 3 anxiety attacks. With the other 4 patients he freaked but now he's completely calm. The best thing to do is shrug it off. It's the doctors jobs to observe us and the pacints. A Lot of patients here were former nurse guards. To explain, a nurse grard is there to stabilize unruly patients, give shots, restraining so on. Another job we have is night check. Someone watches the monitors and if the camera is faulty. We have to check the room and pacintent. Once a cam is on the fritz someone is selected to do hourly checks. We get dorms a couple of feet from the faculty. Lunch is served in the general serving room. We eat alongside non violent patients. We only eat with them if there's a watched pacinent. One that shows signs of agershion or if their actions worry the doctors. Other wise were eating in our dorms or moniter room. I've never seen a doctor up close. We always leave the room before they show up. As we finish sudateing m23 she grabs my hand. “ i'm not crazy “ the sentence rolls of her lips and falls at my feet. I smash it into the ground with my boot. We shouldn't listen to what they say. They are crazy. They just want to go home. Continue to live their lives that's all they want. We can't let that happen, I don't understand my job. I don't understand why they can't go home even when they've been cured. I don't understand why the longest anyone can work here is 4 years, and then they disappear…..