"When is the loneliest you've ever felt? How about the one time you felt the most sad? Like, the moment the one thing you up most cared for, was just gone, leaving you feeling a vast openness. When was that?"
"Since forever I suppose."
Sunlight poured through the curtains in the peach toned bedroom. It had just rained, light droplets stuck outside of the window, dripping down while getting stuck in the black screen. Soft yellow curtains. That's what they were. Soft yellow curtains with white daisies on them. Right?
Eyes fluttered open to take in the blurry open space before them. A rough textured ceiling was the first thing they were met with. And maybe a few cobwebs they meant to clean out of the corners too. Oh, and a faded night sky painting with those glow in the dark plastic stars. Yes, the plastic stars that always seemed to fall in the middle of the night. How many are gone now? 1...2...3...6? Disappointing, but at least some are still there. I'll have to ask auntie to get more if she will.
Raising up and taking in the brightly lit room, there were the soft yellow curtains with the white daisies like they thought about before they opened their eyes. The soft yellow curtains with the white daisies in their peach toned room.
"It's almost school time! First day! First day!"
Running of small feet insync with larger heavy ones faded down the hallway. The heavy feet were never nice to hear anymore.
First day? It is't the first day of school. Oh, well, maybe for you it is. What grade now? 2nd? Yes 2nd grade was always nice. I think. I was too gullible then. But the teacher was always nice. She always broke out in a warm rash though on her neck. That was because of her eating warm foods. I hope she got that checked out.
Looking around one more time, the soft yellow curtains with the white daisies in their peach toned room was the last thing they wanted in mind before they had to fill their mind with other things. Some unwanted, some wanted, others not interesting and others very.
I wonder what today will be. Maybe it will be a good day. Unlikely but who knows. That's okay. I'll see that one person right? What was their name? Um. Dorin? I believe so. Alright, let's just go then.
The morning was like any other. Loud thanks to their sibling but at least no yelling from the parents. Normally, they would wake up alone to get ready for the day and head out the door when the dad or mom got up, but not today.
"Do you have your lunch made?"
"Yes," which wasn't a lie but they weren't going to eat it. Eating lunch was a milestone they barely crossed. Not because of the work, but mainly because they had no appetite. Eating made them feel no different than not eating. Other than the headache side effects sometimes and the growling stomach noises. But over the years, they happened to be able to ignore it easily.
"Have a good day."
And out the door they went.
School wasn't all that bad nonetheless. But the only downfall was the vast amount of fake friends they knew they had. And the endless roll of guys that they used to date that only make for awkward situations sometimes because of things they say in equal. And of course, their friends are mutuals. But they couldn't complain. It defeated home life for a good seven to eight hours. Which would be the best seven to eight hours they ever had five times a week. Which is about 182 days(182.5 roughly) of a good time away from home. Not counting the times going to grandma's house or friends.
School bus was late as usual. Making everyone annoyed, grumpy and irritated that some will get lunch detention because the school system doesn't because using a bus as a good excuse for why anyone was late. Bullshit really.
Everyone was looking, which wasn't any different. But the stares made them anxious. Taking a seat in their assigned spot, they leaned against the window with closed eyes when the bus started to move again making them hit their head hard on the glass window. Normal stuff. Just like anything on repeat. Anyone would know that, even if there is a itty-bitty change to it, it's always the same daily routine.
School was always the same routine too. Well, if the bus wasn't late usually.
All the students would go to the cafeteria, sit with their friend group, eat breakfast if they did, some would go to their lockers to put stuff away and go to class then go back to the cafe room and chat and eat. Once the bell rang, it was the first period for all students. Then after half an hour to 40 minutes, the next bell rang. 8th graders had their related arts which were their 2nd and 3rd period classes, but 7th grade had 2nd and 3rd period normal classes and so did 6th graders. 7th grade had related arts 4th and 5th period and 6th graders had theirs for everyone's last two classes of the school day. 6th and 7th period. Lunch was after related arts class for 8th graders. In Between them for 7th, and right before related arts for 6th graders.
They were in 8th grade. One grade away from highschool. Sounds fun yes? Didn't matter to them. School was school and in the end everyone would graduate. Their friends would go on to have successful lives and some won't. The others would be stuck in jail, mental hospital, or dead. We all knew who would be who at some point in the years or very near future. Never hard to tell really.
But they knew where they themself were going to end up at some point. But didn't seem to bother.
They knew for a while when things got bad.
From the beginning you could say you saw that life wasn't so bad. That this morning wasn't so bad. But that isn't usually the case after school. If anything, just because it's morning, it doesn't save anything from being left unsaid, undone, un-anything. Especially on weekends. The weekends or days of the week there is no school, something always happens. And leaving the house wasn't really an option unless grandma or a friend came over to get them.
School was the true only safe space. Even then, it wasn't when teachers invaded places in their personal space and time and it caused a problem ending it with a permanent record for school. Something so mildly stupid to be on one none the less.
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