“Excuse me?” I need a bit of time to process what I just heard, to be honest. The elf woman in front of me blushes, hiding behind her soft pink hair. “S-sir Griffin, I’m in love with you.”
I continue staring at her as her long lashes blink over her purple eyes. “O-oh,” I manage to type out eventually in the game’s chat function. She looks at me expectantly, and I become extremely glad that this is happening inside an RPG game, because never, ever, has a girl confessed to me before.
Which I’ve always been grateful for. I mean, I’d feel awful if some sweet girl told me she loved me and I had to flat out say ‘I’m gay’.
Clearing my virtual throat, I pat my wife’s shoulder awkwardly. Yes. The elf lady is my wife. Her name is Rebecca, and she’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. We got married in game because we work well as a team, and married couples get extra bonuses and things.
I never thought she’d actually fall for me, however.
What the fuck do I do now?!!!!
“Rebecca, that’s really…sweet of you to say,” I begin awkwardly. I don’t want to upset her, she’s always been so friendly and nice, she’ll probably cry if I reject her and her feelings were genuine. But, I also don’t want to lie to her; don’t want to lead her on or think she has a chance with the actual me.
Because, I love sweet girls, but as friends. I like cool, buff dudes, as boyfriends.
“O-oh Sir Griffin, please don’t say anything yet!” She exclaims, grabbing my hand and holding it gently between hers, a few tears already forming in her eyes. “P-please, can we meet up in person? I would l-like you to know the real me before you give me a response.”
Honestly, kudos to her. I mean, I’m literally the same person in the game as out the game, I even used my real name. Yes, my name is Griffin. Weird, I know.
“I- I see. I mean, we live in the same city, so it should be easy enough to meet up?” Why am I humouring her?!!!!! The outcome will be the same no matter what!!!!
I should just reject her now.
But I can’t, not with how she’s looking at me! She’s like a little fragile flower, if I break her heart I’d never forgive myself!
Rebecca claps her hands together, hopping in the air with excitement. Her white dress twirls around her, the smile on her lips radiant. Fuck, I feel so mean.
“T-thank you so much, Sir Griffin! I can’t wait to meet you!”
So. Here we are. I’m about to meet the sweetest girl I’ve ever met, and tell her I can’t possibly return her feelings, because I like men. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch a tall guy walk in. He looks like he could crush my head between his biceps, which I can’t tell: is it intimidating or a turn on?
I glance back down at my phone, watching the minutes tick away whilst I wait for Rebecca’s message. I don’t know what she looks like; I mean, I doubt she’s really a pink-haired elf, but you never know.
I look fairly average, I mean, I’m average height, not super attractive or super ugly, with dark hair and dark eyes. I have no features which stand out, which is why I went crazy with Sir Griffin’s character design.
I mean, in the game, I’m this warrior dude with long white hair and green eyes and cool outfits, whereas actual Griffin just wears jeans and flannels. Nondescript, like I said.
Glancing up, I try and sneak another peek at the tall guy who came in earlier. He has fluffy brown hair and bronze skin; the way he holds his phone looks hilarious honestly. It’s like he’s scared he’ll break it if he grips it too hard, so instead he’s very daintily holding the edges.
A ping from my phone states that Rebecca is already here, which is weird. There’s only a few girls in the café, all of whom came in before I arrived. Thinking that I just haven’t spotted her yet, I give her my table number and try and look as normal as possible whilst I wait for her.
Suddenly feeling a little nervous, I try not to look intimidated as buff-guy strides over, plonking himself down on the seat opposite me. I look around frantically, trying to come up with an excuse to make him leave.
“I’m sorry sir, I’m waiting for someone. Do you mind sitting somewhere else?” I ask awkwardly, hoping this guy doesn’t decide to punch me for talking to him. He reaches a hand into a pocket, and may mind starts racing- what’s he got? What’s he going to do to me?!
To my surprise, he gently places a keyring on the table. Glancing up at him, he smiles shyly, before nodding in the direction of the keyring. Leaning forwards, I inspect the object.
Pulling back with surprise, I glance up at the man again. The keyring is a cute chibi drawing of an elf woman with pink hair and purple eyes wearing a white dress.
“REBECCA?!” I silently scream, trying to keep the surprise out of my voice, but failing triumphantly. The man nods, smiling brightly at me, and I try to ignore the spears of aw cute, that go into my heart at the sight.
“Hang on, we’re going outside, I need answers,” I say abruptly, grabbing the man’s hand and pulling him up from his seat. Well, no. I don’t pull him up, that’d be like trying to lift a car. Instead, he just dutifully stands up, carefully picking up his keyring again, before following me outside.
My mind is still tripping over itself as I try and work out what the fuck is happening here, and I don’t realise how far I’ve taken us, until the guy tugs on my hand gently. I glance up, realising I have no idea where we are now.
Nice one, Griffin!
The guy suddenly squeezes my hand, alerting me to the fact that oh my God we’re holding hands, when did that happen, and guides me through a few streets. My first thought is huh, he might be taking me to his secret lair to kill me, and then I remind myself that he’s also Rebecca.
I.e, the sweetest person ever. And I know, he’s not actually Rebecca, but I doubt he asked me out to murder me. Or actually, maybe he did, that sounds pretty smart. Shut the fuck up, Griffin.
The man suddenly comes to a stop, and I realise we’re in a little garden area, which I recognise as being fairly central within the city. He leads us over to a bench, sitting me down next to him, before smiling shyly again.
“So, Rebecca. Mind answering some questions for me?” I ask, and he nods eagerly, still not letting go of my hand. I look pointedly at our hands, before looking back to him. A little dusty blush covers his cheeks, and it takes me a moment to entertain the possibility that maybe Rebecca really did have feelings for me. And well, this guy is Rebecca.