Warning: Suicide
"Why don't you go take a swan dive off the roof of the building, and hope your born with a quirk in your next life."
Those words, those words hurt more than anything he's ever said to me. Ever since he started bullying me I'd always just bare with every hurtful word or punch he thew at me, because he was kacchan. I would do anything for kacchan, that's why I always did what he said withouthesitation. I hoped that one day he'd smile at me without all the malice, that he'd call my name without the intention to hurt me, I'm so stupid. Never in a million years could that possibly happen since every time he sees me I always seem to make kacchan angry, but a little part of me thought that the old kacchan was still in there even if just a fraction. The one who was my friend. I guess I was wrong. I guess kacchan actually never wanted me around in the first place because I'm weak and useless.
Obviously he wouldn't want me, I'm such an idiot, why would he ever need something useless like me, why would anyone need something useless like me. In this world we live in whats useless is thrown away, so why wouldn't it be any different for a quirkless person like me who'sjust a burdento society.
Right that's the one thing that I've tried to avoid telling myself. I knew it all along, I knew every time they said it that it was true, I just refused to believe it. I mean how could you just easily accept something like this. But I always believed I was useful to atleast one person, that even if it was one person I should live for them, but I guess all the pain and sadness that I gave my mum every time she saw me with new bruises and scars wasn't very useful to her, was it? Thats right I'm useless. But if I'm useless?
Then who and what am I still living for?
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I make my way to the roof, each step giving me more conformation. People walk by me keeping there distance like I'm some kind of disease. I can't believe I was so blind, I can't believe I was so stupid. I've always been useless. I've always been an outcast.
There's no reason for me to live I'lljust burdeneveryone else. Even kacchan doesn't want me alive, and I think all the others probably agree.
"I bring shame to this school" that'swhat my teachers always tell me. Well its a shitty school anyway with or without me in it.
I finally make it to the roof and walk over to the edge and stare into the distance. The sun is still hanging high in the sky as all the students are making there way out of the school. I take of my shoes and place them orderly by the edge. I take my notebook out of my bag and read through it one last time, desperately wishing that something, anything will change this decision I'm about to make, wishing that it will let me live another day. It doesn't work only reminds me of all the pain as the burnt corners of the pages dance in time with the wind.
I hold my breath gathering my courage and look straight ahead. From up here it looks like a really long distance to the bottom. It's scary, and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I can hear my heart beating in my chest, sweat pouring down my face. I do my best to clear my head and decide to jump before any other thoughts can possibly stop me. I close my eyes and take a step forward only to be met with nothing underneath me.
The fall shouldn't be so long yet it feels like an eternity. Is this what it means to have your life flash before your eyes. This has really made me realise how much of a shit life I've had. But thats fine, it'll end soon.
I'm plummeting down and I'm losing consciousness. My final thoughts naturaly drift to the spiky haired boy. "This is what you wanted right kacchan."
I hit the floor. Screams ring out.
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