What do I do!? My heart keeps pounding whenever I’m around him and here’s the biggest news, a week later he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years! I was so happy, yet I needed to know why they broke up in the first place. I like the juicy tea of drama! But that also made me feel guilty, because they been together for 5 years.... I feel like a villain for being happy about it. Though he did tell me why they broke up in the first place, it was because they argued about the smallest things and they live far apart from each other. But isn't that how relationships mostly are though, well my love life been 0% active, so yes I know there's more than that to a relationship but that was 5 years wasted.

I gain some weight so right now I’m just a chubby person who hasn’t learned what being in a relationship means, but…it might not be what I interpreted it as. He’s probably telling me because he’s comfortable being around me, and he see's me as a friend but why would he stay by my side for an hour for his lunch? If you understand that feeling, would you think the same or not?

When I started working in a convenience store as a cashier, and I was there for a year and a half and when he got hired my eyes locked on his face! Okay, I know it’s just me but my eyes are my weakest link other than me lying. I liked his face and I knew that someone like that had already had a girlfriend or boyfriend, you never know! Then on one of my afternoon shifts we finally talked.

I finally got to talk to him as he was gone for a good week for the holidays, and it was on a Sunday shift it was short but he was so cute. I mean there were times we talked but that was work related and he would interrupt my conversations with my friends and tell me what time he has till he goes home, but we actually talked and he teased me! Saying I wasn’t working hard…though he’s not wrong, I’m literally walking, laughing, and escaping from place to place but I am working hard! Then on a Saturday night shift, we were placed next together at the register, it was a slow night as it was also a game night. We talked and we laughed and I made him laugh too much as I made fun of passing teenagers who were asking questions, well dumb questions like they want to work here too and then when we finally have a customer they came to my lane, and I told him off that I’m glad that we’re finally apart and he could head on home. But you know what that cute ass mother fucker did! He followed and helped me bag the customer items and we fought in front of the customer and they were laughing at us, when I told him I was finally free from being with him and I wanted a divorce because he caused me trouble, of course I was joking and so was he but he goes and says, ‘never.’ That part made my heart pound.

From then on, I saw him here and there as he’s a busy college student and I work full time. So of course we won’t or I won’t see him as much and he’s always surrounded by the younger teenagers or by friends. I won't let my feelings get the way of our friendship. Until I realized all I could think about was him, in my dreams, and looking forward to the days he would be working with me. Which brings me to where he told me he and his girl broke up. I also realized he was young and way out of my league, he could be playing with me. So I told him ‘you can find a better one’ he laughed and he looked at me as I laughed and acted dumb while running away.

Tonight, we work together! I was happy but I couldn’t let it go over my head as I looked for his name and found out that we have the same schedule…it looks bad I know like really bad....I might need help, but I’m getting healed by just looking at him. I came to work and unexpectedly he was there too. We greeted each other and laughed as we headed inside together and looked for our boss who would then direct us where to go, and not long after our shift ended like always as we parted ways. 

This time! I kid you not, as I was waiting for my ride to come pick me up and I went around to messed with my coworkers and we made eye contact and by standing by him I tried making him slip by putting my feet between his and spread his legs apart for a bit to make him fall, but he didn’t he stood firm and smile at at my failed attempt and made me struggle. He grabbed me and made me fall instead, he did it gently as he put me down to the floor and he smiled…I think I’m a fool for him. 

My love story ended at the age 23 and he was 19…..