Macy swung on the swings trying to go as high as she could. Percy sat nearby on the bench watching her. She looked so beautiful as her hair whipped around her as she swung, illuminated by the moon. Lance was so lucky that he was the one that had her love. That was his best friend, his confidant and one that made up their trio. Percy knew that these feelings would never amount to anything and wishing for anything other than their friendship was impossible. He knew how much they loved each other. It was as obvious as the sun. Sitting there watching her, sometimes it was too much handle.
“ Percy, Percy, Watch me go higher!” Macy giggled pumping her feet harder.
“ You know if you do that you'll fly off.” Percy hollered back.
“ It's fine. You’ll catch me!” Macy responded sounding so sure of herself.
Percy's breathe caught in his throat. The funny thing is, she was right. He would catch her, every time. He had before. Both of them knew it but now it was no longer his place. He no longer walked beside them, he now walked slightly behind them as they got farther away. He stared at her for a moment longer. He walked from the bench towards the swing set. He saw her smile through her whipping hair. Macy slowed herself on the swing to a less furious pace.
“ Should I fly?” She stated matter a factly.
“You're going to fall” Percy replied.
“ I'm not going to!”
“ You will. You don't have wings.”
“Of course I do.” She smirked wickedly.
“You're going to fall,” Percy repeated.
“ Will you catch me?”
“ Always.”
At that, her pace being slower, lept from the swings hurtling towards Percy. Percy already had his hand outstretched ready to catch her falling form. He braced himself as she landed into his arms with a thud. He swung her around as she laughed into his ear. It had been a long time since that had embraced like this, was close like this.
“ I caught you,” he said into her ear slowing their spin.
“ I knew you would. I was never afraid,” she whispered back as he put her down.
Her windswept hair framed her face and she swiped at it. Stepped back she revealed a face splitting grin and it broke Percy's heart. She turned and walked back towards the swings. He had to do it. He couldn't hold it in anymore. Lance was his best friend but so was she. Was it unfair to do this while he was away? Was it underhanded and sneaky? Maybe, but it was too late. He needed to let go or it would eat him inside.
“Macy, I love you. As in, I'm in love with you. I've always have been.” Percy blurted before he could lose the nerve.
Macy stopped mid-stride and stood very still. She didn't turn around. Percy watched her back, scared that he had done something wrong.
Percy continued, “ I know that you only see me as a friend. I know that you and Lance are together. I'm not trying to break into that. I know the timing is wrong and that I’m taking advantage of it as well but that's not it, that's not the point.”
Percy felt his heart race and his throat burn. He was wrecking their friendship and betraying his best friend.
Percy finished, “I just wanted to tell you that I loved you. That I always have. Since we were kids, I’ve only loved you”.
Macy stayed turned away from him, not saying anything. Percy sat back on the bench, burying his face in his hands. The silenced stretched and it felt like forever until he heard her footsteps, to his surprise they were coming his way. She stopped in front of him and he could see her sandals through his fingers.
“ I know,” Macy whispered in a voice that could barely be heard even though she was right in front of him.
“ Of course I know Percy. How could I not?” she spoke up.
Percy didn't know what to think. How did she know? How long? He couldn't think straight at all. He was too embarrassed to even lookup. How could he face her? He saw her kneel in front of him, face now visible. She placed her hands on his, pulling at them.
“ Look at me Percy, look here.” She said coxing his fingers apart. Percy let her and stared straight into her eyes. Her face shocked him. She wore a meek smile and teary-eyed. His stomach sank. What had he done?
“Percy. I know you love me, in that way. I know because I saw how you look at me. I think I knew before I knew Lance liked me. I know this may seem blunt but to me it was obvious.” Macy finished smiling sheepishly.
Percy felt like he had been slapped. He didn't know if he should be pissed because she had known about his feelings or that she just didn't seem to care to acknowledge it. His anger won and he looked hard at her. Her tears meant nothing to him but the smile on her face did. He felt like she was mocking him. He pulled her towards him and kissed her.
He knew he was wrong, alarms blared about repercussions but he didn’t care. He tried to communicate his feelings to her. All his anger, hurt and love for her. Surprisingly she didn’t pull back and slap him. Instead, she kissed him back with just as much force. Percy didn't know whether to recoil in panic, back down in shame, or rise to her challenge. He accepted her challenge. He pulled her closer and squeezed her to him as painful as he could.
She didn't flinch. Percy was done. Kissing her was wrong, felt right but most of all it was wrong. The kiss felt like a final kiss that you give during a painful separation and you don’t want to let go. It was a fevered desperate kiss. It was being on a lifeboat watching the titanic sink. It was goodbye.
He pushed her away reluctantly and relieved at the same time. She was beautiful with half-lidded eyes, swollen lips and tears on her cheek. She stared back at him with an unreadable expression. Percy stood pulling her with him, eyes locked on the other. Macy smiled sadly.
“ Do you feel better now?” She whispered, gaze unwavering. You recoil from her as if you've been burned. You might as well have. Her eyes burn with an emotion he had never seen on her face. Did he feel better? He didn't know what that meant. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. Her stare made him clam up and he tried to stammer something out.
“ Don't. Just Don't” She hissed at him. He had lost so much from his impulsiveness. He had lost her and Lance when he found out. He felt a lump rise in his throat and his eyes stung.
“ You think you can pick a fight with me? Do you think I was making fun of you? You give yourself too much damn credit! You love me. Of course, you do! I've seen the way you look at me when you don't think I'm looking. I've known since the 7th grade! You never said anything, you just watched me, supported me and stayed by my side. I knew this would happen eventually. If I and Lance weren’t together I wouldn't have felt this torn and guilty” she finished catching her breath.
Percy managed to get out “ What do you mean? I don't get it.” Macy's face turned into a scowl and then softened.
“Percy were childhood friends. This is the cliché love triangle of friends. I wondered when you would say something. I didn't know what would happen when if you did.” She walked to the slide and sat.
“ I knew, deep down, that I loved Lance and we were just friends. I didn't know how to make sure that our friendship wouldn't be broken. Lance maybe my boyfriend now but I don't want to lose either of you.” She looked up at Percy, tears streaming down her face. “ I knew that it would hurt you seeing us together but I couldn't do anything. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you both. I love you both so much!” Macy's voice was high pitched and cracked.
“ I love Lance but I love you too. It may be different but that doesn't change the fact that I care for you. Please understand I don't want you to go.” Choking the last part out.
Percy stared at her. What had he done? He never had wanted to make her cry, never wanted to hurt her. He walked and kneeled in front of her. He wiped her tears.
He cleared his throat and said, “Macy, I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you. I was impulsive. I know you only love me that way. I just needed to tell you. If I didn't tell you I knew that it would eat at me. I didn’t want to resent you both. So, I’m sorry about that. You will not lose me. Promise”
Macy closed her eyes and leaned into Percy's hand. “ Thank you. I'm alright. I'm just scared. I don't want to lose you. I just want to...” Macy trailed off.
“ ... Be friends. I've always known that. You just broke my heart but I’ll be fine someday,” Percy chuckled sadly “ So don't worry about that. Just continue being you and we can get over the awkwardness, eventually. Besides, I always knew you were no angel.”
Macy leaned back and smacked his chest. She scrubbed her eyes and gave a pouty face.
“ That doesn't mean I can't fly,” she whined.
“ You’ll fall,” Percy replied.
“ But you'll catch me, won't you?”
Percy gave her a wry smile. “ Always.”
He kissed her forehead and helped her to her feet. They stared at each other for a moment before Percy offered to escort her home. She grabbed his hand. He stared down at her. She linked their fingers together and swung it slightly. Percy understood. This moment was for them and no one else. He still felt like crap for the way some of these things played out but it was fine. This was something that they shared outside of Lance. Her being his angel, her need to fly, her inability to, and the certainty that he would always catch her. He loved her and always would. If this was the only way to stay by her side then so be it. He would lock those thoughts away and bury it 12 feet under. Throwing the key into the ocean.
He left her at the gate and watched her go inside. She gave a small wave before shutting the door. Percy felt hollowed out but satisfied. He let it all out knowing it would be amount to nothing, a dead end, but that was fine. A dead-end meant you could turn around and walk a different path. He walked back through the park to get home. In the light of the moon, Percy looked up, tears streaming down his face.
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