I can’t help but feel out of place in my Omega Politics class where I’m surrounded by every gender, yet overwhelmed with strong independent omegas. I’m sure that if any of them knew how I felt and what I wanted for my life they would shake their head in disgust and disappointment. The world has come a very long way and people are no longer held back by their gender, in fact Omegas have had their rights for many decades now. Everyone knows the fight and suffering that Omegas have gone through for the life many Omegas can enjoy now, which is why I feel so guilty.
I don’t wish to be inferior to my mate in any way, and I’m so grateful for the opportunities that I have in modern society yet I feel almost broken or wrong because rather than dreaming of being a powerful Omega I am more than okay with submitting to my future Alpha. In fact I would love to be the traditional housewife and omega that many find offensive and snear at the mere thought of. I think that I would feel this way no matter what my gender, but being a modern day omega means that many people don’t seem to understand how I could want to live such a life, and in fact many alphas are praised for showing their softer side. I understand how they could be miffed, and I am no way opposed to working or being the provider of my family, but I know that in my heart I long to be able to be in the position where I can just take care of my family and husband. In turn I expect a loving Alpha who does not take advantage of my values, but let’s be honest I’m not exactly going to find a very committed life partner as a freshman in college. It seems as if everyone is just focused on a quick bout of pleasure rather than forming the deep bond that mates have, which is fine for them but for me it’s not exactly ideal.
My life is not very exciting, and I have been extremely sheltered my whole life for many reasons. I come from a rodent shifter family, and I myself am an African pygmy mouse which is a super rare shift. My doctor says that less than 0.001% of the world’s population are African pygmy mice. For the most part interspecies mating can happen, but rather than creating hybrids the offspring just take on the shifter of one of their parents. The animal side of shifter children can be anything but they can’t be from a completely different species than the parents. For example in a feline family, the animals can be anywhere from a lion to a tabby and everything in between. If a dog and a cat mate, the child will either take on the k9 trait or the feline trait. There is some correlation to one’s physique or dominant and what kind of animal shifter they are born as, but it is not a causation and there are many shifters that prove such theories wrong.
African Pygmy mice are extremely small and it’s just my luck that I am on the smaller side as well. I weigh about 0.10 ounces and am about one inch long in my mouse form. In my human form I am about 4’6 and weigh about 60 pounds, I know I am the size of a mere child. My friends, family, and even strangers can never seem to let it go, and sometimes I get a little insecure. Rodents are stereotypically smaller humans than most but are typically an average height due to the fact that human traits and animal traits are not related at all. So rodent shifters can be tall, I just seem to have been dealt the short end of the stick...see what I did there. I don’t have dwarfism or any health issues according to the many tests and doctors, I’m just unlucky.
“Hi baby! How was school today? Learn anything new and exciting?” My dad asks me this everyday as soon as I walk into the living room after getting home. Yes, that’s right I still live at home rather than dorming because I live super close to the school, and it is much cheaper to just live at home. As much as I hate answering the same question every day, I also realize that he’s just trying to show he cares and wants to be involved in his youngest child’s life.
“It was okay...pretty much the same as always. How was work?” My dad worked a typical office job and was expecting the usual response that it was boring and he hates Ron from the IT department. So when he started talking about how one of his coworkers got caught stealing stuff from one of the higher up’s offices, and how they were fired only for them to throw a tantrum resulting in their arrest I was very surprised and hanging onto his every word with wide eyes.
“Well that was my day. Oh you should probably get some work done before dinner cause your mom decided that today was the perfect day to invite the army over.” Dad was not joking at all when he said the army was coming.
I managed to get most of my work done before some of my siblings started showing up, and my mom forced me to come down and greet them. Let me introduce all eight of my siblings and their respective families. First up is my oldest brother Johnathan who is 35, is mated to a beta female, and has 3 kids, next is Katherine, 33, a beta, a beta female mate, and 2 kids. Lucy is 30, a beta, no kids, and a male beta mate. Jake is number 4, he’s 28, a beta, has 1 kid, and an alpha female mate. Drew is an Alpha, 25, and has no kids or a mate. He likes to remind us all that he is enjoying the single life which my mom thinks is just him saying he’s screwing everyone who will let him. After Drew is Lewis who is also an alpha, is 23, has 1 kid, and is mated to an omega male. Darcy is 22, a beta, who also has neither a mate nor kids, but unlike Drew she is very eager to find her mate. Finally it’s me. I’m not only the youngest of nine kids at the age of 19, but also the only omega in my family besides my mom which means that I am the ultimate baby in my family’s eyes. I guess my size doesn't help either.
Now you may be wondering how we all fit in the house, well we don’t. When we have family get togethers we just hope it doesn’t rain and hang out in the backyard and eat. My mom kicks everyone out of the kitchen except for me because all of my siblings are total failures in the kitchen. Also my mom loves me the most so she lets me help and snack on the tasty “scraps” or stuff left over in bowls and spatulas. I love helping my mom cook too, she’s taught me everything I know and she’s practically a part time chef considering all the cooking that she has done for our huge family. Her title should be Leila… Teacher by day, chef by.... Night? Maybe that’s noy such a great idea.
I love my family, but sometimes I look at all my siblings and see how happy they are with their families and can’t help but feel lonely. Maybe I won’t get a mate, because no one will love me for who I am. I know that many people might be skeptical of me when I say that I honestly know who I am and what I want in life. I struggled a lot when I was younger and even questioned myself constantly. I felt very controlled by society in the sense that people wanted me to go against stereotypes and in doing so I was going against myself. This led to many questions and often wondering if I would rather be a girl, because I loved dressing in typical girly omega outfits. I love to wear dresses and skirts, but society said that male omegas and even some female omegas need to challenge the notion that omegas can only wear such outfits. I was a flaw, or a rebel in the statement they were trying to prove and they made sure that I knew it. I got made fun of a lot and when they noticed that their insults about my clothes didn’t bother me, they hit me where it hurt. I have always been insecure about my size and looking like a child. People always mistake me for a little girl or boy and in turn they never take me seriously. I felt like no one would ever see me as the adult or teenager that I was. My parents were incredibly understanding and tried to help me in any way that they could, and so when I approached them with my problems they offered many solutions but also reassured me that I was beautiful no matter what. It was the beginning of my senior year and I had finally established that I identified as male, but I loved being and looking feminine. It took me a long time to build up the courage to ask my parents, but I had been thinking about it and researching everything. So when I approached them with my want for breast implants or a boob job I could tell that they were shocked and a little reluctant, but after many discussions and consulting doctors they were fully supportive.
My boob job was never something for others, it was entirely for me. There’s a lot of assumption when it comes to boob jobs, but I just needed it to feel comfortable with myself. It’s definitely out of the norm for males to have boobs, but I’m okay with being weird if it comes to my happiness. They aren’t very big, maybe a medium B cup. I think that was one thing my parents were worried about, they thought I wanted double H’s. After my operation people definitely stared and talked, but it’s not like they didn’t before, and now no one could mistake me as a child. I couldn’t care if people mistook me for a girl or rather a woman, in fact I kinda like it but I finally felt confident in my body and myself. No one was going to take that away from me. This does make me kind of nervous about finding a mate though because I’ve never dated anyone and I don’t know how my androgynous features will affect my dating life.
“Elliot baby, can you go tell your siblings to come help set the table and bring the food out?” My mom brings me out of my thoughts. She always calls me by my full name rather than my more common nickname Ellie.
“Sure thing mom” I guess I can’t focus so much on the future. Even if I don’t end up with a mate in the near future I still have the mass of love from my family who I know will always love me with all of their hearts.