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Wait Up

The only thing

The only thing

Aug 21, 2017

Alex

I...I can’t believe it. He’s here, after all these years. Standing right across from me. This can’t be real. I must be hallucinating. But it is real, and Marcus is here, his ebony skin gleaming in the sunlight, tank top hanging loosely from his broad shoulders. But most of all, Marcus is in our spot. Where it all began. The beginning of the end.

I thought he had moved to another city. Maybe he did. So why is he here? Right now? This is the first time I’ve been back here since we broke up. Or, “took a break” as Marcus had called it. Such a dumb thing to call it. But what’s even dumber is that I haven't even dated anyone in 5 years, because as much as I loathe to admit it, deep down, I still love Marcus. I don’t know why I believed in true love, and why I let myself believe that Marcus was the one. Maybe he is. That would explain why I can’t move on. Why I don’t want to move on. Because I only love him.

I’m trying to figure out what to say to him, when he shouts,

“Alex!”

*********************************************************************

Marcus

I stop so fast that I nearly topple over. There is Alex, standing across the field, a gentle breeze ruffling his hair and white button down. I think I feel my heart burst. From joy. From anguish. From regret.

After we “took a break,” (God, why did I even suggest that?), I moved to another city. But I come back to this city a lot. Almost every weekend if I’m honest with myself. I always tell my friends some bs; that I’m going to this Cafe I like, or that the movie theater is better up here. I actually just come back to the trail. Our trail. Our spot. I always hope that I’ll see Alex, which I know is insanely stupid. But seeing him standing here in front of me, I don’t feel so dumb anymore.

After we broke up, Alex moved too. And changed his phone number. I know why. He couldn’t afford either of those things anymore. Not after what happened. Maybe he also did it to escape from me. I was the one who made his life fall apart after all.

I...I thought it was the end. The end of us. I thought that Alex hated me more than anything in the world. So, I left. I wasn’t going to stick around and torture him.

I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.

That was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my entire life. Leaving.

There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t think of Alex. His warm laugh, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles, all the things that now feel like a slap in the face.

There’s a hole in my heart where Alex used to be. Nothing fills the void. I drink to forget, but I always remember my heartbreak, my mistake. I can’t go back to that agony. I refuse. Not now, not when he’s right in front of me. So I shout,

“Alex!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GenWrites
GenWrites

Creator

In the veil of great surprises
I wonder
did you love me at all?
-Sufjan Stevens, "The Only Thing"

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A little gay love story I poured my soul into.

Each title is the name of a song by Sufjan Stevens, on his album entitled "Carrie and Lowell." I was highly influenced by that while writing this, so I suggest you listen to it while you read.
The story title comes from "Wait Up" by Prinze George. I saw the music videos for the song, and that's what inspired me to write this story, so listen to it as well if you'd like.
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6 episodes

The only thing

The only thing

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