I just got my heart broken, what better way is there to start the month right? So let me tell you the story. There’s this girl that I really really like, for about a few months now. Or is it few? I’m guessing 6-7 months already. 

As per my usual routine, I woke up, brushed my teeth, took a bath and put on some great clothes, they looked great to me at least. It’s just fitted black trousers, a white hoodie and a pair of leather shoes on my feet. I put myself in front of the mirror then I felt the sunlight coming from the window gently touch my face. I thought to myself, “I look good, even the weather is good” must be a good sign right? I stared at the mirror for a couple of minutes and I nearly forgot that I had morning classes, so I went to my apartment’s parking lot to grab my motorcycle and went to my college and found myself a bit late.  

It’s really my nature to be late on such events or almost everything. On occasions that my friends planned, on classes or even group meetings, you’ll never see me get there on time. It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose, it’s just that I always try to do things when there’s little or no time left. Guess I’m lazy? I’m not smart or anything, in fact I’m average, so where did I even get the courage to be this lazy right? Well, your guess is as good as mine.

As I entered the room, I stole a glance at the girl of my dreams while I was on my way to an empty seat at the back of the lecture hall. I heard my professor asking why I’m late but I was so busy looking at Hina. She’s been my classmate for about two semesters now. She’s smart, pretty, kind, name it and she has it. I bet all the boys here in this class have a secret crush on her. But I don’t care, I’m confessing to her after this class. I continued to stare at her like a boy stargazing, and even after I settled down on my seat, my eyes were locked on to her beauty. That is until a pen hit my forehead. 

“Are you even Listening Aoi?! Get out!” My professor was furious as he yelled while the veins on his forehead became visible that looked like they were about to explode.

And just like that I was waiting outside the room for the class to end. I don’t really care that much, I guess because it’s a minor subject, but school never bothered me that much anyway. 

After an hour I saw the students exit the lecture hall. My professor was making a gesture from the door window asking me to come back inside so I simply followed, not much of a choice I have at this point.

He stared at me for about a minute then removed his glasses. My professor on this subject is a bit old. Or is he? Well anyway he looks old. He looked at me calmly and started talking.

“Aoi, even though my subject is Purposive Communication and is not a major subject, it does not mean that you have the right to do as you please.” And so on blah blah blah about how important his subject is. And it ended with “If you continue to be late for 2 more times I will mark you as absent, and you know what 3 absences mean right? You’ll be dropped from the subject. Currently you have 2 absences, be mindful”.

I didn’t get to confess outside the room because of the issue at hand, I can’t help it. But one good thing is that I know her schedule, and I also know that she has a 2 hour vacant period, so she’ll probably be in the field benches with her friends right about this time. 

And she’s there. Not much of a surprise. I gathered myself prepared for whatever outcome the world has for me. I might be overreacting but this is a confession, who wouldn’t get nervous on such occasions? I brushed my hair sideways using my fingers, not that it did any visible changes, and breathed calmly. I walked nice and slow to the open field and stood in front of her group.

“Hina, can we talk for a minute? I have something important that I really need to t-t-tell you”

 I stuttered right? No, I Stuttered. Surely! 

“Haha, why are you so tense? Yeah sure” She replied while her friends teased her as she got up.

We walked for a bit as a few minutes of silence accompanied us.

“So what is it that you have to tell me?” She asked while looking at the sky as we walked past the field.

I stopped walking and looked at her, she did the same. I felt the chills like my soul was about to leave this skinny body of mine. 

“I like you, for a while now actually” it just blurted out. My mind was blank, but my body wouldn't stop shaking.

“Why me?” 

“Why not you? What’s there not to like?” 

“I just asked just for the sake of it. But, I’m sorry.  I really appreciate the thought of you liking me and your courage for asking me. But I know you’ll find someone better. Someone who can return those feelings. I’ll see you around Aoi” 

I bet she already knew what to say, and what I would say. That line just now. It felt like a standard script on how to reject someone you don’t like. 

She walked back to her friends as I stood at the exact same spot for a few minutes. 

And just like that, I got rejected. I didn’t feel like going back to attend the rest of my classes for the day so I decided to go for a walk nearby the campus and lit a cigarette. I was walking my head down and I bumped into someone. Someone I know actually. It was Yukino, a girl I met and talked with one time during my highschool years. 

A few years back, there was this time when I was really down so I drank at a convenience store at night lying to the cashier about my age so that he would sell me some alcohol. I’m not depressed or anything, I can’t even remember why I’m sad that day. But that’s the case with me, I never asked for help. I always knew that my friends have my back, but for some reason I just can’t say it to them.

If I remember correctly, Yukino walked up to me at that time and asked.

“Why are you drinking? Aren’t you too young for that?” 

I forgot what we talked about that day, I was really drunk since I have a low tolerance for alcoholic beverages. But why do I remember her that much? It’s because we kissed that night and parted ways. Or maybe it was just a dream and I’m really drunk.

Now back to the present. I can’t believe that I met her again after years of not seeing each other even once and not to mention, in the same exact mood. We stared at each other for a few seconds before breaking the silence.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I was spacing out” I apologized and bowed my head and saw her laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“You’re “drunk guy.” She answered while giggling for a few seconds.

“Drunk guy?”

“Oh that’s a nickname I made up for you. Maybe I should change it to something related to being sad right? I mean we only met face to face like this twice, including today and both of those times you were like this.” 

“Like what?”

“Like you’re whole world’s about to end. I hope you don’t kiss me this time though” 

Wait what? So that wasn’t a dream? 

“Why do you look so dumbfounded? Just pay me back since you stole my first kiss. Let’s go somewhere, it’s not my forte but I’ll cheer you up”.

Wait, what? First kiss? That can’t be true right? Are you telling me that I stole this girl’s innocent lips? No no, I did kiss her. Or did I? I don’t know anymore.

“Where to?” I asked.

“Somewhere” She answered while smiling at me with the most genuine smile that I have seen from anyone in a while.