“Blek BLek BLEk BLEK BLEK,” I roll over and slam my hand down on my phone. I’d change that alarm sound if it didn’t work so well. In my sleep-driven haze pill bottles roll around from the force of my hand as well as me attempting to grab my phone. The floor is so cold that just my feet hitting it wakes me up. “One, two, three,” Pills jiggle out of several bottles, grabbing the water cup next to me I swallow hard pills hitting my throat. 

“Miles hurry up I might be able to drop you off at school before I’m called in!!” Mom yells from where I can only assume is the kitchen. 

“Okay, Mom I’ll hurry!” Rummaging through the piles of clothes on the floor, I find a Black Blue hoodie and some black jeans. The brush I pulled through my hair does nothing to the mess of black waves. My hair was never curly only slightly waved. I stop at the mirror before heading down to Mom. 

“Shit I look like I didn’t sleep all weekend,” I mean that’s true but Mom doesn’t need to know.”Of corse he left marks on my neck why would he just urghhh” I grab the foundation a cover both my neck and under eyes. I run out the door and into the car with mom.

“Well?” Mom asks calmly as the car slowly revs to life. “Well what, Mom?” I say pulling my hood over my head. I already know what she’s gonna say but I need time to find a believable answer. “How were your fathers friends? I know they come over when I leave on the weekend,” Her eyes are on the road but I feel as though she’s staring into my soul. I pull the belt over my shoulder, ”You know how they are Mom. They sit with Dad in the front room and I play games with Alex and Scott,” Dam she didn’t believe me her face stiffen trying to fine what was true in my statement and what was false. Yet she softens “You know I trust you with all my heart, so I’ll take your word for it,” her eyes go back on the road and we sit in dead silence. I stare out at the sidewalk, watching other kinds my age walk to school. I spot familiar faces as the talk together, talking, laughing. I wish I could do that but its easer for me to just fall into the backgrounds. I shake thought thoughts out of my head. I grab my bag by my feet and grab and old hardbound leather book. “Already going for that book.” She takes in a deep sigh “ You should really leave that book at home,” “I know I just..” “It’s all you have left of him. But that’s just my point, Miles, I don’t need you going down that path again if you ever lost it,” “Mom nothing, nothing will ever make me go back. I just… its nice to have a part of him with me” I open the book the same handwriting starring back at me”