I'm cooking breakfast when my small cabin suddenly starts lifting off the ground. Thankfully, it's made from one of those Amish-built sheds, so it's capable of being lifted without falling apart. Though, as I live in Kansas, I can't help but feel like I'm about to see the Wizard of Oz or something.
Too bad... I really put a lot of work into building this tiny home, so I'm not going to abandon my house just to follow the yellow brick road. I don't care what any witch says; I'm not leaving my house behind.
As I'm pondering all of this, I'm still stirring my bacon and eggs. I don't care where we're going; I'm not letting good food go to waste! And since my skillet is powered by the solar panels on my roof, combined with the batteries on my porch, everything still works. And thankfully, whatever magic is carrying my house seems to be preventing turbulence. Meh; I haven't had my coffee yet.
It's about the time my bacon gets crispy that I hear an unfamiliar voice in my head.
"You seem awfully casual about this. In my last attempt, the poor soul had a heart attack from the fright. I don't even want to say what happened the previous two times."
"I've read a lot," I reply. "And though nothing like this has ever happened while I was in my house before, it's not like I've never flown or been in unfamiliar territory. I'm an Air Force veteran, after all. The sky has always felt like my home, though it hasn't been quite so literal."
The voice laughs. "Looks like I caught a reasonable one this time. We'll see how casual you stay once you see what the situation really is."
"I'm aloft in an Amish cabin. Something, and I'm assuming you, whoever or whatever you are, is carrying me. I don't hear the blades of a Skycrane, and we're traveling too slowly for a jet aircraft. The only other options are either a giant bird or magic shenanigans."
"HA!""If you knew how close you are!"
The laugh was aloud, and was apparently loud enough to wake up my wife. Still in bed, she lifts up from the waist...and looks out the window. Of course the usual shrubbery and fields are nowhere to be seen.
(Did I forget to mention my wife is Russian? She's fluent in English, but when she is highly emotional, she'll revert to Russian for a second or two while her brain is processing.)
She looks at me, then looks out the window again, and then faints. Poor girl; she never did get used to the ridiculous situations I often find myself in. I mean, that one time in Italy, when I–
"HAHAHAHA! Sorry for the noise, but I couldn't help myself! Anyway, if you have a chair, you might want to sit down; we're about to land!"
I put my bacon and eggs on a plate and sit down. I figure this must be the best in-flight meal and entertainment I've ever had. As I enjoy my breakfast, (looks like I forgot to add the cheese. I must've been more flustered than I realized) I begin to see treetops out the window. But that's odd...the leaves are pink. And they don't look like they've changed from green to pink; they're just...pink!
A beep from the wall next to my front door tells me my solar batteries are fully charged. That can't be right; they're old and haven't gone above 70% for several years. As we get even closer to the ground, I see even more odd things. I see a bluish-green sky. But the air is calm, so the green can't be from bad weather.
I see animals...the deer look like deer, but they're all standing upright. But they don't have humanish faces, so they're not fawns. The rabbits and other small animals look more normal, but perhaps a bit cartoonish? They certainly seem more intelligent than regular small prey animals.
When the cabin is mere inches off the ground, I notice the grass. It's...no, it's not blue. Whoever created this place, thankfully, didn't go for that joke. The grass is golden. And not just wheat-golden, it looks like the grass is made from ACTUAL gold!
The cabin finally is set down. It creaks, but not loudly, as it comes to rest. There isn't even much of a thud as it lands. Whoever's been flying this thing must be a genius...or able to defy the laws of physics to a certain level. I get a feeling that even jaded ol' me is going to be surprised when I see the pilot.
I open the door. Good Amish craftsmanship; it doesn't stick at all. Then I step outside and see...
Oh. It's a dragon. Looks to be a western-style dragon. Hmph. And here I was half expecting to see something I've never heard of. Oh well.
"A bit impertinent, aren't you, don't you think?"
"Like I said, I've read a lot."
"Still. You're looking at a draaaagon. Aren't you at least impressed?"
"I'm former military. I've seen man-made birds physically bigger than you. I've seen Skycrane helicopters lift things heavier than my tiny home. Though you're impressive, and though I really appreciate the comfy ride, I'm only just slightly rattled. Anyway, why did you bring us herrrr–Ah."
I stretched mid-word because the dragon has revealed an infant hidden in a patch of tall... (dangit!)... blue grass. (sigh. How did I miss that earlier?)
The dragon snorts a little. "I couldn't help myself. I can hear what you think, so...hehehe."
This lousy dragon has a lousy sense of humo–ow. A pebble hits me on the forehead. Okay, I enjoyed the joke! You don't have to pelt me with stones; we're not Jewish!
I look a bit closer at the infant. It's not a newborn. As a matter of fact, I'd say it's already weaned. Aaaaand...she's naked. Yup, she's a girl. Let's just put a diaper on her. Wait, where did this box of diapers come from, anyway?
"Dragon. Magic. Duh! By the way, what's this 'diaper' thing for? I made it from your knowledge, but you didn't think about what it...wait, really? You humans sure have some strange customs. And no, we dragons don't need to worry about waste. We're magic beings; we use everything we eat. What's that; conservation of...oh, I see. Well, we sweat, but we don't...can you think about something else?"
Wait. I just had a mental conversation without saying anything out loud. Strange how natural that seemed.
Hmm...this story is definitely on the 'odd' side. I understand it's a short story, so you can't spend a lot of time establishing characters, but...seriously? That guy just gets whisked away into a magical world by a dragon and he's not even surprised? I mean, I've heard the phrase 'Nothing surprises me any more', but people do tend to have a certain mindset about what is possible and what is not.
If I were that man, I would have assumed to be dreaming the instant my house took off. Knowing this, knowing that 'none of this is real', I'd also be able to rather relaxed about the whole thing.
Also...what's with the blue grass? I'm afraid the joke escapes me.
A collection of short stories I've written in response to Writing Prompts from various sources.
If any particular short story gains enough likes or comments, I may be interested in expanding it to a longer story. (Paying me will help, too! :-D )
If you have a new writing prompt you want to see me write a story for, write your prompt in the most recent upload, please! (No requests for fanfiction or requests for me to write about copyrighted characters.)