Hello! Minaya is back. I have not published here in a long time for ... various problems (family, illness, social life ...), so instead of telling my problems, I will go directly to what I come... The comic !
I have done a complete remodeling of the comic, completely erasing what has already been uploaded and ... Uploading the complete chapter 1 !. I've lost nice comments, but better now than having a messy start.
As some of you know, I do not speak native English, so I preferred to translate the English version to Rahn. Who has worked with me before on "Emily's Flight". I know that this comic had a previous translation, but since now I will be in charge of Ranh, I prefer that your translation module be from the beginning.
"The song of Bargat" is a comic that in its Spanish version already has 8 chapters, in which I am already working in the ninth. Rahn already has until 8 to translate, so this will go at the speed of his translations. But do not worry, she is very fast, so we will have enough movement here this 2018.
If you are curious about what is going on and Spanish is not a problem, you can see the Spanish version: https://tapas.io/series/El-cantar-de-Bargat
Really neat comic, Minaya. Good artwork, but the translation isn't quite right.
in panel 6, she should just be saying Interest, as you don't need it to be pluralized in that scenario.
in panel 9, I'm sure it should likely be "What could Bargat do to a little girl? Disappear into mist?" I don't quite know why he speaks of himself in the third person, but I'm, sure there's a good explanation for everything! ^^ One thing's for sure, I just want to make her retort of "In your dreams!" make sense.
in panel 10, you don't need the "Well,". "Now listen to me, Bargat" is enough.
in panel 11, Leona should probably be saying "Why are you speaking of yourself in the third person? ...actually, you know what?" whereupon in panel 12, she then goes into that sorta inspirational whatsit where she then says the comic's already having her say. Again, I want the bubbles to lead to one another like a trail of breadcrumbs or cookies! ^^
in panel 15, I'm just stuck on pronouns in this one. I think (This could very well be overturned, as Bargat could just not be a guy for pronouns) it should say "But if you think it's that easy, then you may as well know that it isn't. Because according to the Inheritance Laws of the Kingdom of Fler, The First Last Name is the Male's and the Second is the Female's." this one is utterly about semantics and specificity.
in panel 23, ......Average Alcoholic? A lot of things aren't good for average alcoholics, including alcohol. I'd have just gone with something like "This little millstone is going to be nothing but trouble for me" instead, but it's your choice in this case, so do with this advice what you will.
in panel 72, (Yes, your comic is that good, just FYI^^) it should be "Put all the furniture against the door!!" adding "The" because it makes it more grammatically correct, and adding the extra exclamation point highlights a clearer sense of panic from the people behind said door.