The wind blows as the sun rises, it's rays reflect off the clouds, off the water, off the falling autumn leaves. A beautiful scene of dancing reds. A contrast to the scene behind me. The city, some lights still seen from the windows of sleepy, grey, skyscrapers, the sound of morning joggers and the engines of early birds. A pleasant sight, I'd say.
It's too bad I forgot my camera.
It's time to go home, if I don't want to be late for school.
A strong blast of warm air as I opened the door to the apartment and the sight of my mom at the counter, in her robe, coffee in hand, head tilted over, asleep. She suddenly jumped and yelled, "You're letting the cold in!"
I quickly shut the door and turn to my pouting mother, staring me down. "It's not that cold," she stares harder.
"Sorry?" I sigh.
"That's better." She stops the piercing stare and relaxes back into her chair, taking a large sip of her coffee, then closes her eyes. She's wearing a maroon bathrobe over some grey sweatpants and shirt. Her wavy kinky hair partially covering her face but I can still see the bags under her eyes. Night shift at the hospital again, it can be tough on her. "Didn't bring your camera today?" She says, eyeing me.
Facepalming and rubbing my face I respond, "I thought I had it somehow. I guess I was tired."
"Maybe take it easy on going out early to look at trees?"
"It's not looking at trees, mom"
She tilts her head and places a hand on her chin "Birds then?"
"Mom."
A victorious, "Go get ready for school, honey," as she snickers.
The door creaks open to reveal my room in all it's messy, messy glory. Unmade bed against the wall, desk covered in unorganized books next to the window, a mostly empty dresser cause most of the clothes are on the floor, and a mirror in the corner of the room, where I'd see it the least. Posters for content I liked on the wall, mostly anime stuff, a couple figurines on random surfaces, a few half read manga by the nightstand. I would tidy up, I would, but then I'd feel out of place in my own room.
I spot the camera on the bed. "There it is," I sigh with a bit of relief, "maybe next time." I pack it in my bag before walking over to the mirror across the room.
I look tired. Average build, not too scrawny, hopefully, semi-curly hair, some of it falling in front of my half-closed eyes, hazel eyes but not the pretty kind, dim, lifeless you could say. I spend a little too long looking at this part of myself before I shake myself out of the daze and heading out.
It takes about 10 minutes to get to campus if I take the bus, after that I walk to class, in class I sit there and listen to the lecturer, after I'm done with all my classes, I go home and collapse on my bed. And I have to do this tomorrow, and the day after.
Every. Single. Day.
I thought it'd be better after high school, I thought it'd be easier, more interesting and in a way it is. I don't have to deal with condescending teachers anymore, no more drama. But I can never shake this feeling of pointlessness, like I don't have a purpose. Like I'm drowning in an endless ocean, sinking in the infinite waters, the pain remains but I don't struggle because nobody's here to see-
I got to get off this train of thought, it never leads anywhere good. Can't have mom worrying again. I yawn, the weight of my eyelids becoming more apparent until everything goes black.
__________
I wake up at some point and check the clock, 2:45AM, early but I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep. Might as well go for a walk...and not forget the camera this time. The cold air attacks as soon as I step outside but I lift my collar in an attempt to fight it off and start toward the park. The crowd at this time is pretty much the same as the usual time I take this walk, people out for a run, dog walkers who need to be somewhere in a couple hours, students spending some time together after a last minute assignment.
As I make my way to the main clearing of the park, I catch a glimpse of an area I don't think I've seen before, an area behind some rocks and bushes by the side of the path. The light of the sun about to peak over the horizon catches my eye. I push through the leaves, into the area. It's looks as if its been neglected for a while but there's a single tree a bit off left from the center with a semi-rusted greenish bench covered in snow. At the end of the area is a cliff edge, below is the suburban area and the road on the right is the one that leads into the main city. The sun is about to rise over the horizon, this would make the perfect picture.
Picking up my camera from it's position above my chest, I point it at the horizon and wait for the sun.
There it is.
Click. The picture processes for a few seconds. I take a look at the time, 3:33, I should head back soon, I'll check the picture then I'll make my way b- What? I look up at the scene again, then back at the camera, then around me and back at the camera. There's a figure in this photo. It looks like a person doing the peace sign. The light from the sunrise seems to be passing through them somewhat? I don't remember turning on a filter, I think as I rub my eyes, thinking I'm tired and hallucinating because of it.
"That's a pretty nice picture."
A voice from over my right shoulder. I turn quickly to come face to face with a woman. I jump back a few steps and when I look at her it feels like something is gnawing at the back of my brain. As my eyes focus in I realize she's the woman in the photo and as I continue to scan her that gnawing feeling suddenly erupts throughout my head causing me to shut my eyes as I realize another thing. Her feet aren't touching the ground.
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